


what's up gays

by hoywfiction



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Group chat, M/M, Texting, all respect meant, but it does have a plot i have p l a n s for dis, i wrote this for fun and wasn't taking it seriously at first, it's really gay and is ninety percent fanservice, there's group chats and actual writing wowza, truuuust me trust me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 03:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12356841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoywfiction/pseuds/hoywfiction
Summary: squad dad: excuse mestrippergram: i meant guystwink: no you didn’tThe gang are all in high school together, but of course that doesn't mean sitting in class all the time. That means teenage drama, a series of misadventures, whirlwind relationships, and a million questions. Why are Brock and Brian called mom and dad? What is Craig and Tyler's relationship exactly? Who the hell IS Delirious?Well, those are all things that they'll work out in this hellhole they call the group chat.





	1. color day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fuckboys McGees](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7417555) by [keephergoin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keephergoin/pseuds/keephergoin). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members of this chat: hoot hooters (Evan/Vanoss), bacon bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), mini dick (Craig/MiniLadd), hey arnold schwarzenegger (Brian/Terroriser), basicallyisuckdik (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), thirst hoe (Jonathan/H2ODelirious)

**The boys we crack open a cold one with even tho it illegal**

_hoot hooters is typing…_

bacon bitch: no

hoot hooters: fucKING DAMN ALRIGHT THEN

mini dick: get shut down

hey arnold schwarzenegger: what were you even gonna say?

hoot hooters: i just wanted friends :(

bacon bitch: too bad bitch

hoot hooters: ACTUALLY suck my dICK TYLER

bacon bitch: SQUARE UP CHEETO PUFF

mini dick: i’ll be your friend evan :)

hoot hooters: ew lame

mini dick: D:

basicallyisuckdik: HEY BITCHES GUESS WHAT

hey arnold schwarzenegger: oh there’s marcel

basicallyisuckdik: SHUT THE FUCK UP BRIAN I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU

hey arnold schwarzenegger: HOW THE FUCK WERE YOU NOT TALKING TO ME????

bacon bitch: spit it out you hyperactive little bastard

basicallyisuckdik: so liSTEn I THINK I FIGURED OUT WHO DELIRIOUS IS

hoot hooters: WHAT!!!!

thirst hoe: the fuck you did bitch

bacon bitch: I WANT RECEIPTS

basicallyisuckdik: nah i didn’t really i just wanted to get his attention so everyone would be in the chat

mini dick: you tease

bacon bitch: you got me hard over nothing

hey arnold schwarzenegger: SHUT THE UP FUCK

hoot hooters: brian’s in advanced placement everyone

thirst hoe: he englishes so gooooood

hey arnold schwarzenegger: can you fUCK OFF

mini dick: is that improper capitalisation i see?

bacon bitch: and no punctuation. terroriser’s really being a naughty boy today.

hey arnold schwarzenegger: I’M FUCKIG LEAVING

_hey arnold schwarzenegger left the chat_

_hoot hooters is typing…_

_thirst hoe is typing…_

hoot hooters: he misspelled fucking

thirst hoe: he spelled fucking wrong

bacon bitches: JINX YOU OWE EACH OTHER A DICK UP THE ASS

mini dick: jESUS CHRIST TYLER

basicallyisuckdik: damn the rules of jinx have changed from back in my day

_basicallyisuckdik added brian to the chat_

hey arnold schwarzenegger: i need new friends

bacon bitch: go complain to moo about it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

hey arnold schwarzenegger: CAN YOU STOP SHIPPING ME WITH BROCK???

mini dick: no

thirst hoe: no

bacon bitch: no

basicallyisuckdik: no

hoot hooters: no

hey arnold schwarzenegger: i hate you all

_hoot hooters is typing…_

mini dick: at least we’re not david

bacon bitch: nobody ships like nogla does

hoot hooters: guys what day do we have for spirit week tomorrow?

basicallyisuckdik: he tried to draw fanart once but it was really bad and he threw it at me for laughing

hey arnold schwarzenegger: but he ships evan and del idc about him

thirst hoe: it’s color day i’m pretty sure

bacon bitch: we'll be the nogla to your devan

mini dick: #teamterrorsnuckel

hoot hooters: uh shit what colour are sophomores

hey arnold schwarzenegger: I HATE YOU GUYS

_basicallyisuckdik changed brian’s name to mister denial_

mister denial: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME MARCEL

basicallyisuckdik: I’M FUCKING NOT BITCH

thirst hoe: i think freshmen are purple, sophomores are red, juniors are green, and seniors are blue

mister denial: fight me you skinny cunt

basicallyisuckdik: HAHAHAAHAA i’d win

hoot hooters: thanks delirious :D

mister denial: LIKE SHIT

thirst hoe: np man :D

basicallyisuckdik: alright motherfucking brian aside where the hell did tyler and craig go

hoot hooters: probably sucking each other off for their porn site

_bacon bitch is typing…_

_mini dick is typing…_

bacon bitch: you wish

mini dick: you wish

basicallyisuckdik: JINX YOU OWE EACH OTHER A DICK UP THE ASS

mini dick: k

bacon bitch: k

_thirst hoe is typing…_

basicallyisuckdik: okay so orgy at my place?

thirst hoe: this chat just got really gay really fast

thirst hoe: wait whAt

mister denial: i didn’t ask for this

_hoot hooters is typing…_

bacon bitch: k marcel

mini dick: k

hoot hooters: and somehow it’s still getting gayer

 

 

“WHAT’S UP FUCKSTICK!” Evan looked up just as Tyler came sliding into the classroom, hopping up and plopping his ass on Evan’s desk. The class watched as the teacher let out a sigh, solemnly erasing the 2 beneath the words _Days Without Tyler Wine Happening_ and changing it to a zero. Tyler snickered, gesturing towards the designated corner of the white board. “Were you counting the weekend, Teach?”

With a defeated nod the teacher turned away, sitting in his chair and resting his head against the table. Everyone stared for a while, but eventually Tyler snapped his attention back to Evan and everyone else started chattering amongst themselves. “What’s up, Wildcat?” Evan asked, looking up at his friend despite feeling a little bit guilty over his teacher’s mental state.

“I was gonna ask to use some of your face paint, you look dope,” Tyler said, gesturing to the two red stripes swiped horizontally across Evan’s cheekbones. The entire student body was colorful today, even the weird emo kids who were typically only seen in black. Tyler himself looked… gay, for a lack of a better term, with tiny red gym shorts and a matching sleeveless shirt he’d cut into a crop top somewhere between the morning and first period. Around his neck he had at least five beaded necklaces, one of which had a maple leaf hanging from the center.

“Since when were _you_ the Canadian?” Evan asked, pointing at it, and Tyler grinned.

“Oh, Craig gave this to me,” he said, detangling it from the others and pulling it off before looping it over Evan’s neck, “to give to you.”

“Aww, I feel so special,” Evan said, laughing a little bit. He adjusted the necklace so it wasn’t crooked as he fished his face paint from his bag, offering it to Tyler. “Don’t get it on your clothes though.

“Oh no, what would I do if my clothes got stained red?” Tyler asked _very_ sarcastically, taking the paint and laughing as he slid onto the floor. He saluted to the class as he headed for the door, tapping his fingers on the teacher’s desk on his way. “See ya tomorrow, man!”

Evan bit back a snort of laughter as he heard the teacher mutter under his breath. “Please, no…”

 

 

The lunch room was separated into stripes of purple, red, green and blue, showing the obvious divide between upper and lower classmen. Except for the blemish off to the side of the cafeteria, the round table that Evan and his friends had claimed ever since the start of the school year. Their colors weren't separated but mixed together like a DIY melted crayon project a kindergartener would create.

"Hey nerds," Scotty said as he sat down beside Marcel.

"Hey, you see Craig?" asked Tyler around a mouthful of bread roll, gesturing vaguely. The paint that Evan had lent him in class had been used to map out the paths of  _someone's_ hands, smudges and signs of clothes being grabbed inked in crimson against his skin. It had been a hot topic of chatter throughout the day from other students, but their friend group knew exactly who was responsible for the marks. And that was Tyler himself, trying to fuck with people’s minds.

"One of the freshman classes got out late so I think he and Bryce'll be here in a minute," Scotty answered as he tore open his milk carton.

“Good, the table looks weird without some purple,” Brock said from his place, smiling brightly. He was the only one clad in blue, their token senior. (They had Ryan as well, but Ryan typically left campus and spent his lunch period with Luke, their friend who had graduated last year.)

“I heard purple.” Right on cue, Bryce appeared with Craig at his side, trays in hand. Evan scooted over as Craig took the seat between him and Tyler, and although he wasn’t completely certain he thought he caught the younger boy's ears get a little red.

“I still wish Delirious would sit with us,” David piped up, having been pretty quiet until now. Evan glanced over at him but found he had nothing to say because he wished that their faceless friend would as well.

Despite considering him one of their own, the group really knew very little about Delirious. They knew he attended their school, that he was a boy, that he was into video games like the rest of them, and they knew his voice. Evan propped his elbow on the table and rested his cheek in his hand, picking tiny bites off of his pizza crust and popping them into his mouth as he thought. He knew more than that he supposed, like that Delirious had a sister, and his favorite color was blue. And that he still had a teddy bear despite claiming to be too old for it, not that it mattered since he was sort of immature as far as high schoolers went to begin with. Not the bad kind of immature, he was responsible enough, but the sort of immature that was endearing and made him so easy to joke around with…

“Earth to dumbass, wake up.” Evan blinked, lifting his head and making eye contact with Tyler before slowly realizing everyone else was looking at him too.

“Uh… What?” he asked, and a moment passed before the rest of the group erupted into laughter.

“Nevermind Evan,” Marcel chuckled as he shook his head and grinned down into his tray.

“Whaaaaat?” Evan whined, smiling but also feeling his anxiety spike over not knowing the punchline that had them all in stitches.

“We _asked_ if you've heard anything from your boyfriend lately,” Scotty smirked, leaning forward in his chair, and Evan sort of wanted to punch him and sort of wanted to hide for a couple of years.

“He's not my boyfriend,” he said a little _too_ defensively, refusing to make eye contact with any of these assholes.

“You expect us to believe that?” Craig chirped. This time Evan punched him lightly on the shoulder.

“I do actually,” Tyler said, leaning back in his seat to look over at his friend. “Only because he’s had a crush on that guy since, like, forever.”

They all followed Tyler’s gesture to a particular boy who was clad in blue at the end of one of the long tables. He had his hood up and his head down as he sketched something in a notebook, but even then they could see the soft smile on his lips, nodding along to whatever music he had playing through his headphones. Evan smiled to himself, crossing his arms on the table surface and laying his head on top of them, observing the senior like he tended to do every day at lunch. “It’s not a crush, he’s just… peaceful to look at.”

“Fucking gay,” Brain snorted. Evan snapped up, glaring in his direction in time to see Bryce swatting him on the arm. But the glare quickly turned into a scheming smile, and Brian’s grin died into a look of worry.

“Oh my god, guys,” Evan said with excitement, gathering the table’s attention. “Look! Brian and Brock are sharing food!”

Brock froze in the middle of reaching his fork across the way to snag a tater tot from Brian’s tray, his eyes round, and soon everyone was enthusiastically talking about how much they shipped it and reliving every moment they’d ever seen the pair involved in. Brock just blushed, stuttering protests that nobody listened to, while Brian made eye contact with Evan and mouthed an _I hate you_.

Although they didn’t see it, just across the room the mysterious senior lifted his head and watched them, a soft smile just barely appearing on his lips.


	2. beach trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: bacon bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), basicallyisuckdik (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), mister denial (Brian/Terroriser), hoot hooters (Evan/Vanoss), mini dick (Craig/MiniLadd), thirst hoe (Jonathan/H2ODelirious)

**The boys we crack open a cold one with even tho it illegal**

bacon bitch: evan

bacon bitch: evan

bacon bitch: hey evan

bacon bitch: look up evan

basicallyisuckdik: CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP TYLER MY PHONE WON’T STOP BUZZING

bacon bitch: sounds like a you problem

bacon bitch: evan

bacon bitch: hey evan

basicallyisuckdik: i fucking hate you

mister denial: same

bacon bitch: i literally don’t give a shit about either of you eat my ass

mister denial: no…. thank you?

basicallyisuckdik: you can eat my ass instead brian ;)

mister denial: fuck off

bacon bitch: EVAN I SEE YOU ON YOUR PHONE ANSWER ME YOU BITCH

hoot hooters: nah

bacon bitch: fucker

hoot hooters: jk what’s up

bacon bitch: this class is boring as shit move over here when the teacher’s not looking

hoot hooters: are you gonna draw sperms on my notes again?

bacon bitch: probably

hoot hooters: then??? no???

bacon bitch: fuck??? you???

mini dick: i’m trying to get an education here stop texting

bacon bitch: suck my dick craig

mini dick: whennnnn

basicallyisuckdik: i have so many questions about you two’s relationship

mister denial: i feel like those are answers you don't want marcel

bacon bitch: evan move your ass tf over here

hoot hooters: move your ass over here i don’t wanna get up

thirst hoe: i heard ass? ;)

_mister denial left the chat_

 

 

“GOD DAMMIT I HATE THIS STUPID GAME! I HATE—” Tyler cut himself off by hitting his controller on the table, a sound they all heard through the call and sent them into fits of laughter. Evan bit his bottom lip, trying not to be too loud, leaning his body along with his controller as he passed the finish line for the second time. They’d been playing GTA races for about an hour, and they were actually surprised that Tyler had lasted that long without rage quitting.

“Ohhh, I’m sorry Brian,” said Craig deviously, and Evan watched him growing closer to the boy just in front of him.

“What do you— NOOOOOO!” The missile threw Brian’s car into the air, flipping him and letting both Craig and Evan zip past him. “YOU BITCH!”

“Back to Ireland with you,” Craig teased, and for a brief second the chat fell quiet.

“Mini did you forget you’re from Ireland too?” Tyler asked, and Craig snorted loudly.

“Maybe? I'm British, I get confused, leave me alone,” he said innocently, everyone snickering to themselves.

“No, get away from me, get away!” Brock let out a yelp as David began to chuckle. Speaking of Irish.

“Sorry guys,” he said happily, coming up behind Evan now.

“No you’re not Nogla, you cheat,” Brian chided, and David just began laughing more.

“Second is mine,” Evan stated as he neared the finish line on the final lap, Craig already having taken first.

“No it’s mine!” David yelled back, increasing his speed. However, Evan crossed the line just before him, securing the position and putting Daithi De Nogla in third.

“Evan, it’s time for bed,” his mother suddenly called up the stairs, eliciting a sigh from his lips.

“Okay,” he said back, hearing a groan of protest from one of the other guys.

“Do you _have_ to leave? That was a terrible round,” Brian whined, and Evan chuckled, putting his controller down.

“Speak for yourself,” Craig said, and nobody had to see him to know he was smirking.

“Rematch tomorrow maybe,” Evan offered apologetically.

“Before you leave, are we still going to the beach after school?” Tyler asked as they were returned to the home screen.

“I’m driving, right?” Brock asked as his character wanked off for his team's victory screen.

“Yeah. Sounds right,” David mumbled.

“Cool. See you losers tomorrow,” Tyler said, and with that he was gone. Evan disconnected himself, putting his headset on the desk and getting up from his chair to turn off the lights.

“Night mom!” he shouted, hearing her respond from somewhere in the house before he hit the switch and climbed into bed.

…

…

…

_bling_

…

…

_bling_

Evan cracked open an eye, looking at his phone as it continued lighting up. It was probably Tyler being a dick again, he’d stop eventually.

…

…

…

There. Evan smiled a bit, closing his eyes again and nestling into his mattress, looping an arm under his pillow as he settled into the blankets.

…

…

_bling_

He snatched his phone up with a groan, holding it above him and squinting against the light as he read the notifications. His anger faded almost instantly as he saw that it wasn’t Tyler, it wasn’t even the group chat, just Delirious. Of course. He typed out a reply despite sleepiness starting to fill his limbs, a half smile on his face.

\--

delirious: hey evan

delirious: idk if you’re even awake right now but i wanted to ask you something

delirious: it’s not important though

evan: what’s up?

delirious: oh. you are awake.

evan: yeah obviously

evan: what was your question?

delirious: nvm.

evan: wait what?

delirious: it's fine

evan: oh… okay? what was it?

delirious: don’t worry about it

evan: delirioussssss

delirious: <3

evan: fuck you :p

delirious: ily evan goodnighttt

evan: mhmmmmm

\-- 

He was smiling, amused by the boy as usual, but he also couldn’t help the curiosity overwhelming his brain as he put aside his phone and stared up at the ceiling. With the way he’d phrased it, it almost seemed like all he’d wanted to ask was some school work related question. But… Evan frowned, rolling over and shutting his eyes once more. There was really no point trying to understand Delirious... Evan could only learn about him when Delirious himself decided to share with him, and apparently now wasn't one of those times.

 

 

“I _said_ catch, dipshit!” Evan chuckled as Craig pouted, looking at Tyler with round, puppy like eyes. Tyler stared back with a hardened expression, though it only lasted for about three seconds before he sighed, shaking his head. “You gonna make me go get it?”

Craig brightened, smiling and nodding his head enthusiastically. “That's all it takes, huh,” Marcel muttered to Evan as they watched Tyler wade into the ocean to retrieve the frisbee that Craig had failed to grab out of the air, stiffening at the feel of the cold water against his skin.

“I ship it,” Brian said. He was lying down on a towel with his head towards the water, and he tilted it back to watch the subjects of their fascination from an upside down perspective.

“I ship you and Brock,” Marcel jumped in without skipping a beat, looking over at him with a deadpan expression. Brian made a sound of indignation as Evan giggled to himself.

“Can you even argue right now?” came Craig’s voice, who'd tuned into the conversation at some point, gesturing in his direction. There was an empty towel beside him, empty only because rather than laying on _it_ , Brock was on Brian’s. He was cuddled against the Irish boy’s side with his head on his chest, fast asleep, Brian’s arm wrapped around him. Brian opened his mouth with a scowl on his face, but after a heartbeat closed it, frowning instead.

“What, never seen some friends sunbathing together?” he grumbled, slipping his sunglasses on and putting his head back down.

“He’s blushing,” Marcel teased, poking his cheek and smirking.

“Am not,” he snapped as he swatted Marcel’s hand away. “It’s from the _sun_.”

It wasn’t from the sun. Evan smirked, rolling his eyes before looking back out towards Tyler who was now emerging from the water with a familiar look on his face. The one that meant he was about to do something that someone wouldn’t like, and judging from his gaze, the target was… “Mini, look out!”

Craig looked behind him a second too late, yelling in surprise as Tyler grabbed him around the waist and lifted him into the air, spinning them both around while laughing. “TYLER! YOU’RE FREEZING! NO!”

By the time Tyler put him back on his feet Craig was shivering, goosebumps on his skin and a hallowed look in his eyes that had the other guys laughing. Tyler snorted, ruffling his hair to gain his attention with a smile that was somewhere between amused and apologetic. “I had to.”

“If I catch a cold because of you I’m suing,” Craig whined, wrapping his arms around himself and adjusting his glasses.

“Worst boyfriend ever,” Marcel tutted, shaking his head and grinning cheekily as Craig shot him a look.

“He’s n-n-not—” he started, biting his teeth together with furrowed eyebrows and letting the sentence go.

“You big baby,” Tyler snickered, but even so produced a towel and wrapped it around the shorter boy, wrapping his arms around him as well. Craig looked like he might protest, but then gave in, leaning into Tyler to sap his body heat.

“Couple goals,” Marcel sighed, leaning back on his hands.

“Not a couple, but anyways—” Tyler dismissed the topic quickly and glanced around the beach. “—we should throw a party out here sometime soon.”

“Do you remember what happened last time we threw a party?” Evan asked incredulously, raising his eyebrows. “Lucas  _literally_ caught on fire and Lui was so hungover that he was still throwing up into Monday.”

“Yeah,” Tyler said. He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. “It was awesome.”

“I say we do it, nobody’s thrown one since school started,” Marcel added with an interested tilt of his head.

“And Halloween’s soon so it could be spooky themed,” Craig chimed in excitedly.

“What says you, Brian?” Tyler inquired, and Evan realized suddenly that their friend had been uncharacteristically quiet. Worry turned into happiness in an instant, however, as he looked over at him, and he felt a huge smile breaking out on his face.

“Oh my god, this is actually the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Craig cooed, wiggling away from Tyler so he could get to his phone to take pictures. Brian had fallen asleep now as well with his free arm tucked under his head and his nose pressed against Brock's hair like it was the only thing they'd come on this little trip for.

“Can we talk about how they would actually be the best couple ever?” Marcel said, following Craig's lead. Tyler snorted, sitting down beside Evan and watching the two hover around their slumbering friends like they were the paparazzi.

“We need to get Marcel a love life of his own,” he mumbled. “Maybe he’ll stop shipping everyone else.”

Evan had to look away from Tyler to hide the fact that he was laughing as Marcel responded, having overheard them. “I’d still want you and Craig to fuck.”

 


	3. party plotting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: basicallyisuckdik (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), mister denial (Brian/Terroriser), bacon bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), mini dick (Craig/MiniLadd), thirst hoe (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), hoot hooters (Evan/Vanoss), brock (Brock/Moo)

**The boys we crack open a cold one with even tho it illegal**

_basicallyisuckdik added brock to the chat_

basicallyisuckdik: one of us one of us one of us

mister denial: DON’T SUBJECT HIM TO THIS SHIT

mister denial: brock i'm so sorry

bacon bitch: onE OF US

mini dick: ONE OF US

thirst hoe: ONE OF US

hoot hooters: ONE OF US

mister denial: N O YOU CULTISTS

brock: what is this?

basicallyisuckdik: groupchat bitch

_basicallyisuckdik changed brock’s name to dick wedgie_

dick wedgie: UM

mini dick: I’M FUCKING DEAD

bacon bitch: DICK WEDGIE HHAHAHA

basicallyisuckdik: i googled what moo snuckel means ;)

dick wedgie: oh my gosh

thirst hoe: this is the best thing ever

mister denial: wait brock did you really make your username after a male camel toe

dick wedgie: i was 14 okay

hoot hooters: EXCUSES EXCUSES

bacon bitch: brock is impure spread the news

dick wedgie: please don’t

hoot hooters: it’s too late dick wedgie

dick wedgie: oh my gOSh

mister denial: change the fucking name marcel you wanker

basicallyisuckdik: damn getting all protective alright alright

thirst hoe: is it weird that i got a little turned on by that

hoot hooters: DELIRIOUS

bacon bitch: i mean same

mini dick: wait what

mister denial: mARCE L !!

basicallyisuckdik: okay daddy

_basicallyisuckdik changed brock’s name to brian’s baby_

brian’s baby: and you said i'm the impure one

mister denial: YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD

hoot hooters: what’s wronggggg :(

mini dick: yeah what’s the problem you told him to change it and he did

mister denial: THAT IS NOT BETTER

bacon bitch: he is your baby though

brian’s baby: what

mister denial: HE IS NOT FIGHT ME

_mini dick sent a picture_

mini dick: he sure looks like he is

thirst hoe: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN THAT’S SO CUTE

hoot hooters: told you to come with us to the beach yesterday ;p you missed out

brian’s baby: um…

mister denial: I TOLD YOU ASSHOLES TO DELETE THOSE

mini dick: never

basicallyisuckdik: whoops

_bacon bitch changed the the chat name to gays anonymous_

bacon bitch: alright everyone take a seat, we’re here to discuss our homosexuality today

basicallyisuckdik: mister denial would you like to share first?

mister denial: FUCK YOU

_mister denial left the chat_

hoot hooters: you missed the perfect pun opportunity

thirst hoe: gays assnonymous

mini dick: oh my god

bacon bitch: shit… you’re right i fucked up

_basicallyisuckdik changed the chat name to gays assnonymous_

brian’s baby: can i ask a question?

mini dick: sure

brian's baby: can you send those pictures to me lol

basicallyisuckdik: absolutely

brian's baby: thank you, i have another question.

brian’s baby: why is brian’s name mister denial?

bacon bitch: because he’s completely gay for someone and won’t admit it

hoot hooters: blunt, i like it

bacon bitch: thanks bby ;*

brian’s baby: wait seriously? for who?

mini dick: brock, really?

_basicallyisuckdik changed brock’s name to mister oblivious_

mister oblivious: …oh.

 

 

“What? No.” Evan blinked slowly, looking from David to the paper on the table in front of him. “How did you… Is that a year number? We’re doing chemistry!”

“I know that,” David said. He frowned as he looked over his own. “But it said that… Oh. Wait.”

Evan watched as his friend retrieved a folder out of his backpack and searched through the contents, pulling out a different page and putting the one he’d been working on this whole time away. “Were you doing the wrong sheet?”

“That may have been my history homework,” he said, grinning sheepishly, and Evan had to bite his work out band on his wrist to prevent himself from laughing out loud and drawing their professor’s attention. (Everyone was dressed up in neon and jazzercise attire, as it was decades day and the sophomores were the 80s.)

“Nogla, _what?_  How are you even passing?” Evan whisper-yelled with a wide grin, and David chuckled under his breath as he hung his head in his hands.

“I don’t  _know_  man _,_ ” he confessed, running his fingers through his hair and dropping his hands into his lap, face flushed. He was a smart guy, Evan knew that, he got some of the better grades out of the friend group. But sometimes he could be a major idiot. “Let’s forget that happened.”

“I’m definitely telling Tyler later,” Evan told him as he sat up straight, and David let out a scoff. But he was just as amused by his mishap.

“Fine… Can we talk about this party though?” he said to change the topic, though it was a topic Evan was willing to let them migrate over to so he didn’t say anything. “How’re we getting drinks and stuff?’

“Luke? Like always,” Evan told him, doodling on his worksheet so it would at least look like he was doing his work. David picked up on it and did the same.

“How does he even get it?” he mumbled curiously, and Evan shrugged.

“Think he still works for that convenience store that pretends they don't know he's under 21,” he replied. Or at least that’s what Delirious had told him.

“Maybe Tyler and Craig will finally get together this time,” David said hopefully, frowning to himself as his pencil broke. As he rummaged through his bag for another one Evan pulled his phone out under the table, checking for messages.

“They're gonna get mad if people keep saying that,” he warned, deciding to open Instagram since the group chat was currently dead.

“I think you should bring a date, Evan.” He snapped his head up, meeting David’s eyes,  _almost_ annoyed by how serious he seemed but instead he just laughed it off.

“Don’t turn this on me,” he protested.

“Come _on_ , at least ask Delirious to come.” Evan should’ve known he’d meant Delirious. “Or… You could ask that senior guy you like.”

“First off,” Evan said, glancing around the room nervously, “can you keep your voice down?" David smiled apologetically, nodding. “Second, butt out of my dating life.”

“Fine… At least help me find a date for Marcel?” David amended, smirking, and Evan returned the expression.

“I'll give it a shot.”

 

 

“Get in, Fong!” Evan playfully rolled his eyes but pulled open Brian’s passenger door and scooted into the seat.

“Sorry. Was talking to Anthony about something,” he said, shrugging off his backpack and tossing it into the back seat. Brian raised a questioning eyebrow, staring a moment before moving to adjust his rearview mirror.

“Panda Anthony or Chilled Anthony?” he asked. Evan hummed.

“Both actually. I was telling them to invite people to the ting this weekend,” he replied, and Brian let out a sound of understanding before hooking an arm over the back of Evan’s headrest, looking behind them.

“Think lots of people are gonna come?” he asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“Seems like it,” Evan answered. He waved out his window to Bryce and Ryan as they passed them at Ryan’s car.

“Seat belt.” Evan looked up as he felt Brian tap him on the chest, though his friend’s attention was on the road.

“Okay dad,” he said, and for a brief second Brian’s eyes went round with fear, probably expecting that  _dad_ to be a  _daddy_ , and Evan knew it. The fear turned into annoyance, and Brian spent half the drive to the Fong household swatting playfully at a very giggly Evan.

“Hey. Why  _does_ everyone want me and Brock to get together?” he asked randomly as they were getting into the neighborhood, and Evan frowned, glancing over at him.

“We just think it's funny to tease you guys about it,” he said, curious about the bizarre look on Brian's face, a feeling behind it that he couldn't put a name to no matter how hard he tried. “And you two  _would_  be cute together.”

“But I... like girls,” Brian said, eyebrows knitting downwards as he flicked on his turn signal, and it clicked. Evan turned his gaze away and down to his lap so that Brian wouldn't catch the sympathy in his eyes, but he still felt it in his chest. He understood the distress in Brian's face so much more than he'd like to admit.

“We know,” Evan decided to respond, playing with his fingers to keep himself busy. “If it bothers you I'll talk to the other guys and we'll stop."

Brian let out a breath, a thoughtful look on his face, and as they pulled into Evan's driveway he turned to face his friend with a gentle smile. He shook his head, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. “Nah, it's okay. I shouldn't be getting so offended by it, you're just messing around. If I  _had_ to pick a dude it probably  _would_  be Brock anyway.”

Evan smirked. Maybe this was the first step in the right direction, at least... “Can I tell them that you said that?”

Brian shot out a hand, messing up Evan's hair despite his squeak of protest. “Absolutely not. Now get the fuck out of my car.”

Laughing, he did just so, sliding out of the Jeep and closing the door. He waved as Brian pulled back out, and as he was changing from reverse to drive, Evan cupped his hands around his mouth. “Love you Brian!” Brian said it back, of course. Except without words, and the symbol he used to show it was his middle finger.

 

 

**gays assnonymous**

mini dick: is anyone awake

_bacon bitch is typing…_

mini dick: tyler! :D

bacon bitch: what’s up nerd

mini dick: nothing. can’t sleep. hbu?

bacon bitch: same

bacon bitch: are we the only ones up?

mini dick: well it is midnight on a wednesday

bacon bitch: weak ass bitches

mini dick: you have me thoooooo

bacon bitch: tru

mini dick: i’m so bored

bacon bitch: sneak out with me

mini dick: and go where?

bacon bitch: mcdick’s is open until two am

mini dick: sTOP CALLING IT THAT

bacon bitch: is that a yes

mini dick: neither of us have a car?

bacon bitch: so?

mini dick: hmmm

mini dick: are you coming to me or am i coming to you

bacon bitch: look out the window

mini dick: what?? were you planning on sneaking me out without even asking me?????

bacon bitch: yep

bacon bitch: hurry up and get out here fucktart

mini dick: you’re the worst

mini dick: be down in a minute

bacon bitch: :)


	4. jon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: thirst hoe (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), hoot hooters (Evan/Vanoss), bacon bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), mini dick (Craig/MiniLadd), basicallyisuckdik (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), mister denial (Brian/Terroriser), mister oblivious (Brock/Moo)

“How come you get to see him and we don’t?” Evan had been wondering the same thing ever since they’d started playing video games with Delirious back when Evan was in the eighth grade, so when Brian asked the question, he put all his focus on Luke. The older boy shrugged, grabbing another case of beer and transferring it from his vehicle to Brian’s. They’d all be going to the same place come tomorrow night but carrying too much alcohol in one car tended to raise suspicions with any passing cops.

“He just likes it better this way I guess,” he said, and Evan couldn’t help the groan he let out as he set back on his task of putting the bigger bottles into a duffel bag. “Think I’ve only seen him because I was friends with him when we were kids. He’s been like this with anyone he’s met past middle school.”

“But why?” Scotty asked, sat in Brian’s trunk and shifting things around to make space as Luke passed him more cases. “Normal people don’t do that.”

Luke laughed and Evan regarded him as he zipped the duffel. “Del’s  _not_ normal. That’s kinda the whole thing… He’s always been good at makin’ friends but not so good at keepin’ them. This seems to work better for him.”

“Doesn’t he miss actually hanging out with people though?” asked Bryce, frowning as he looked up from his feet and stopped bumping Ryan with his shoulder. Luke just shrugged, pulling the last case from his car before shutting the hatch and offering it to Scotty.

“It’s not like he’s gonna lose us as friends if we know what he looks like,” Evan pouted, holding the liquor bag awkwardly as he was unsure what to do with it. Ryan took pity and reached out to take it from him, slinging it over his shoulder without making eye contact. Not that such a thing was unusual for him. Delirious was a mystery in himself but Ryan was another strange component of their friend group, always with a hood up and rarely letting anyone get a clear glimpse of his face (aside from Bryce and maybe Luke on a good day). Evan believed his eyes were green, but he couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d seen them.

“Take that up with him,” Luke said simply, leaning against his car with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Can we know his name at least?” Brian asked from the front seat while looking at the rest of the group through his side mirror.

“He’ll tell you if he wants to, I’m not gonna though,” Luke answered, giving Evan a sympathetic look and patting him on the shoulder when he noticed the frustration in his features. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Bye,” Scotty muttered, more focused on whatever he was thinking about than Luke. Evan rounded the car and hopped into Brian’s passenger seat as Ryan and Bryce got in with their departing friend. He fiddled with his phone as the engine came to life, his mind wandering until he was left mulling over what the hell had gotten Delirious to start doing this phantom routine to begin with.

 

 

**gays assnonymous**

thirst hoe: what’s this party i heard about?

hoot hooters: beach party asshole, get invited

bacon bitch: was that your way of inviting him or?

mini dick: like he’d actually come

thirst hoe: ;)

basicallyisuckdik: what if we said evan’s the stripper

hoot hooters: what now

mister denial: he’ll be in nothing but a rainbow thong

bacon bitch: i like your thinking

hoot hooters: i don’t

mister oblivious: friends don’t objectify friends you guys

mister denial: um does anyone want to fill me in on his new name here???

_basicallyisuckdik changed brock’s name to buzzkill_

buzzkill: O H

bacon bitch: i’ll be the stripper then fuck it

bacon bitch: it’s not objectifying if i’m into it

mini dick: um okay welp

basicallyisuckdik: that get you goin mini? ;)

mini dick: hahahaahhahafightme

hoot hooters: seriously tho delirious come? pls?

thirst hoe: ahhhh maybe

hoot hooters: WAIT REALLY? :D

thirst hoe: no :)

hoot hooters: :(

bacon bitch: if you show up i'll suck ur dick for free

mister denial: TYLER

buzzkill: can i have a different name please?

basicallyisuckdik: no

mister denial: marcel i fucking swear

basicallyisuckdik: just like seeing you angry papi ;)

mister denial: i hate you

mini dick: can we all get new names? :D

thirst hoe: NEW NAMES NEW NAMES NEW NAMES

bacon bitch: NEW NAMES NEW NAMES

basicallyisuckdik: ALRIGHT

_basicallyisuckdik changed brock's name to squad mom_

_basicallyisuckdik changed tyler's name to strippergram_

_basicallyisuckdik changed craig’s name to twink_

_basicallyisuckdik changed delirious’s name to spooky sexy skeleton_

_basicallyisuckdik changed brian’s name to mommy’s boy_

_basicallyisuckdik changed evan’s name to daddy_

_marcel changed their name to ship captain_

squad mom: i don’t know if this is an improvement or not

_mommy’s boy left the chat_

twink: OH FUCK YOU

_strippergram added brian to the chat_

strippergram: you can’t escape us brian

mommy’s boy: unfortunately

daddy: wtf is mine wtF MARCEL

ship captain: yours are all accurate whether you like it or not

twink: BITE ME

strippergram: sure

twink: wait

spooky sexy skeleton: mine’s so halloweeny! :3

ship captain: you’re welcome

mommy’s boy: i fucking hate my friends :')

squad mom: i’m so uncomfortable pls marcel

ship captain: no

spooky sexy skeleton: i like them all

strippergram: oh do you? ;)

ship captain: do you like evan’s?

spooky sexy skeleton: fuck yeah

daddy: excuse me

_spooky sexy skeleton left the chat_

daddy: EXCUSE ME??????

strippergram: AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA

 

 

Free period was usually one of the things Evan looked forward to throughout the day, but Tyler had somehow gotten himself sent home (something to do with ‘creating chaos with chalk dust’) which left Evan all alone for the last hour of the day. He spent it doing homework like your average loser, earbuds in, and when the bell rang he simply sighed and walked out of the empty classroom he and his friend usually fucked around in during that time.

But leave it to him not to look up, because next he knew he had stepped directly into someone. “Ah! Sorry!” he said as his head snapped up, dropping his phone in surprise. But he barely registered that part because electric blue eyes were gazing right back at him and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Uh… my fault, I’m…”

The boy in front of him blinked, but his look of shock morphed into a warm smile and Evan felt himself smiling as well. He didn’t have his jacket like he usually did, and instead of his usual black he had on a soft pink shirt and some comfy-looking Batman pajama bottoms, which made sense for pajama day. For once Evan could see his hair since he didn’t have a hood and he admired the almost perfect way that the feathery brown strands were arranged. He also noticed that he had one more piercing along the shell of his ear than he had last Evan had seen him…

The boy cleared his throat, a light rose color dusting his freckled cheeks, and Evan realized with a start that he’d probably been staring this whole time. He looked to the side as embarrassment coursed through him.  _God dammit Evan, can you be a little less... you... please?_ “Sor-Sorry, I should go.”

He’d just taken a few steps when he heard the boy speak up. “Evan.”

He stopped and turned around, confused, but then a shy smile spread on his lips when he saw the boy holding out the phone he’d dropped when they’d crashed into each other. Evan laughed lightly before walking back and taking it gratefully from the his hand. “Thanks. Um…?”

The boy hummed thoughtfully as he looked Evan up and down in a way that made him feel too warm in his skin before his eyes settled on the ground. “Jon.”

“Jon,” Evan repeated, butterflies fluttering around like mad in his stomach as Jon glanced up at him through his eyelashes. Over a year of crushing on this guy— or, ah, not crushing. Over a year of  _noticing_ this guy and Evan finally knew what his name was. “I’m Evan. But you… you said my name already so you knew that.”

Jon seemed like he may laugh but he didn’t, instead nodding his head. “You’re welcome,” he smirked, looking Evan in the eye for just long enough to make his heart beat wildly before moving around him and going on his way. Evan smiled to himself like he'd won the lottery as he turned the opposite way and made for the parking lot, glancing down at his phone as he felt it buzz. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking around at the other students in the hallway but knowing for a fact he’d have no idea which one had just sent this to him, he never did.

\--

**gays assnonymous**

spooky sexy skeleton: i saw that

daddy: shut up

strippergram: saw what?

spooky sexy skeleton: evan was talking to that guy you said he liked

daddy: OF COURSE YOU FUCKING TOLD HIM TYLER

mommy’s boy: are you surprised

daddy: no

twink: OMG DETAILS

ship captain: did you just unironically use omg??

squad mom: you said lol out loud this morning ^

ship captain: SHHHHHHH

spooky sexy skeleton: i think he likes you evan

daddy: HAH yeah right he said like three words

strippergram: i mean he usually says zero words to everyone else so

twink: this is so good i’m excited

mommy’s boy: i like that you’re more excited than evan

spooky sexy skeleton: i don’t knowwww it looked like he checked you out ;D

daddy: wait really do you think so

strippergram: GAAAAAYYYYYYY

ship captain: hella gay

daddy: FUCK OFF I'M NOT GAY

twink: you gotta ask him for his number when you see him tomorrow

daddy: i am not going to do that but thanks craig

twink: aw

daddy: it was weird though

mommy’s boy: what was? how turned on you were?

ship captain: those raging hormones?

strippergram: how much you wanted to suck his dick?

squad mom: all of you have reserved places in hell

twink: :)

squad mom: you aren’t exempt from that

twink: :(

spooky sexy skeleton: what was evan

daddy: okay fuck you guys

daddy: but… idk his voice was really familiar

ship captain: you’ve gone to school with him for a while?

daddy: yeah but i don’t think i’ve ever heard him talk before

spooky sexy skeleton: maybe you just crazy

daddy: probably

twink: crazy for that DDDDDDDDDD

_squad mom removed twink from the chat_

mommy’s boy: LMAO BROCK WHAT

squad mom: craig’s in time out


	5. mama brock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), squad dad (Brian/Terroriser), twink (Craig/MiniLadd), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), ship captain (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), squad mom (Brock/Moo),

**gays assnonymous**

strippergram: what’s up gays

squad dad: excuse me

strippergram: i meant guys

twink: no you didn’t

strippergram: no i didn’t

daddy: didn’t think so

spooky sexy skeleton: wait when did brian’s name change?

ship captain: he cornered me and told me to change it or he’d beat me up :’(

squad mom: WHAT???

squad dad: NO I DID NOT! i did not!

strippergram: it’s true i was there

daddy: i saw it with my own two eyes

squad dad: oh my goooood

squad mom: how could you do this? to our own child???

squad dad: kms

strippergram: finally

spooky sexy skeleton: REKT

ship captain: everyone defended me :’)

strippergram: you can kys too

ship captain: OKAY RUDE

squad dad: actually gonna kms bye

_squad dad left the chat_

squad mom: AH NO D:

_strippergram added brian to the chat_

strippergram: get back here pussy you know we love you

squad dad: that’s gay

strippergram: you’re gay

squad dad: i think i’m literally the one person in this chat who is not gay

ship captain: mister denial living up to his title i see

squad dad: shut up you prick

daddy: okey okey for real tho when did your name change

squad dad: i asked marcel to borrow his phone this morning and i know his password

ship captain: i regret being generous

twink: wait so you gave yourself your name?

squad dad: yes

spooky sexy skeleton: and you still made it match brock? :D

squad mom: awwww he did <3 ily brian

squad dad: i hate you guys

squad dad: not you brock ily too

ship captain: my shipper heart can’t take this x.x

twink: WHEN WILL I EVER GET A RELATIONSHIP THIS CUTE UHG

daddy: tyler treat your bf better

_twink is typing…_

strippergram: i’m not his boyfriend

twink: he’s not my boyfriend

ship captain: sounds fake but okay

squad dad: gay

twink: i’m not gay?

squad dad: LYING MAKES YOU GO TO HELL MINI

spooky sexy skeleton: even the king of denial is calling you out

squad dad: fuck you

twink: maybe i am ??? bisexual ??? fight me ?????????

squad dad: oh shit, right

daddy: whoops i feel like an asshole

twink: lol i’m not actually upset i just like fucking with you guys it’s fine

squad mom: no it is not, there will be no bi erasure in this household

twink: thanks mom

spooky sexy skeleton: since when was this your household?

squad mom: since i became mom

ship captain: i like mama brock

strippergram: MOOma brock

_squad dad removed strippergram from the chat_

daddy: rip tyler

spooky sexy skeleton: HAHA WHY?

squad dad: he’s in time out. this is my house too and i say none of tyler’s stupid puns.

twink: why is it me and tyler????? put evan in jail

ship captain: "jail"

squad dad: evan doesn't deserve a time out yet

spooky sexy skeleton: yet ;))

daddy: shut up delirious

twink: can he come back from time out now? ;-;

squad dad: no

_squad mom added tyler to the chat_

squad dad: i have been betrayed by my own wife

strippergram: HA suck my dick brian

_squad dad removed strippergram from the chat_

squad mom: that's fair 

 

 

Evan damn near had a heart attack as Tyler slammed his lunch tray down on the table beside him. Tyler almost choked laughing, clasping a large hand on Evan’s shoulder and doubling over in an attempt to catch his breath. “Oh… OH MAN. Oh my god. Are you… Ha! Are you okay?” he eventually said, sitting down and wiping a tear from his eye.

“You scared me to death,” Evan objected, pouting and shoving his friend's arm.

“He was too busy checking out Jon to see you coming,” Marcel said without looking up from his phone, cheek stuffed with chicken nuggets. Evan felt himself blushing and ducked his head in an attempt to conceal it even though he knew it wouldn’t work.

“Shut up, I wasn’t,” he muttered, even though he supposed he had been. He couldn’t help it. After running into one another the other day, Evan had found himself even more fascinated with the quiet senior than he had been before. And he'd learned a couple of things about him from staring. As… creepy as that sounded. Like the fact that he was left handed, drew a lot, and talked _very_ little. In fact, Evan wasn’t sure he’d ever seen him interacting with other people.

“And he’s doing it again!” He snapped out of it and looked over at Scotty with round eyes. The table laughed collectively and Evan groaned, ignoring how hot his face felt.

“Damn, what would poor Delirious say if he found out about this?” Craig chimed in with a pretend frown.

“He'd probably tease me like the rest of you dicks. Not every friendship has to be an actual ship, man,” Evan said while pushing a stray pea around on the table with the tip of his finger.

“Oh _god_ ,” Marcel said loudly, looking up finally only to roll his eyes. “Please don’t become the new Brian.”

Brian, who was at the other side of the circle and had been chatting away with Brock and David the whole time, lifted his head at the mention of his name. “I resent that.”

“Whatever.” Marcel waved him off. “How many times has Del said he’s gay for you?”

“ _Okay_ , lower your voice please,” Evan said pointedly. “And a few times but… just as a joke.”

“ _Is_ it a joke?” Tyler asked, throwing an arm around Evan’s shoulders and smirking. “Is it really?”

“You say stuff like that about Mini all the time,” Evan pointed out, gesturing to the freshman with both hands. Craig shrugged, sipping casually on a juice pouch.

“But that’s different,” Tyler replied. Evan scoffed.

“How?” he snickered, and though most everyone’s focus had now shifted to Ryan (actually sitting with them for once) attempting to balance plastic spoons on Bryce's face, Evan’s wasn’t.

“It… just is.” So he heard the change in Tyler’s voice, and he looked over at him to see his smile had disappeared completely. Evan was about to ask why when a balled up wrapper hit Tyler in the chest, and next he knew Tyler was chucking an orange peel at David, grinning like he had never stopped.

 

 

david: hey evan i have to ask you something

evan: oooookay what is it

david: who’s gay and who isn’t

evan: what

david: nobody is dating anyone and i want to try to set people up at this party

david: but i realised i don’t actually know who likes what

evan: i think the only one who’s out to the school is ryan and i don't even think people really know about that.

david: got it

evan: other than that i think everyone's straight

david: TYLER IS STRAIGHT?????

evan: i mean as far as i know

david: SINCE WHEN

evan: since always?

david: bullshit wtf

evan: i dunno man

david: well… okay

david: YOU'RE STRAIGHT ???

evan: nogla

david: BRIAN IS STRAIGHT??????

evan: NOGLA

david: okayyy okayyyyyy

david: i’m going to try to set him up with brock anyway

evan: …

evan: same

david: did you think of anyone we should get to ask marcel out to the ting

evan: yeah but he already made plans to go with scotty

david: damn. who’re you getting ready with?

evan: tyler. we gotta help brian and luke get the stuff there.

evan: what about you

david: craig, bryce, ryan, suni, lui and anthony

evan: suni? craig’s friend from music class right?

david: yeah

evan: oh cool, i didn’t know she was coming

david: craig invited her i think

even: ah

david: okay i gotta go but see you tonight

evan: see ya

 

 

“Hey.” Evan approached Tyler from behind, having just put another case of beer over near the bushes. Easy to hide should the police show up. They were hosting the party in a quieter part of the beach to begin with, one that nobody could see from the road, but it was still better safe than arrested. Tyler, who had been stood there staring over the water for a little too long, pulled himself out of it and looked over at his friend.

“What’s up, fucker?” Tyler asked, going for his usual tactless and carefree attitude but failing miserably. Something was bothering him, and if his weak smile didn’t make it obvious, the way he refused to meet Evan’s gaze certainly did.

“Seriously, what’s wrong?” Evan pressed as he tucked his hands in his pockets, to which Tyler sighed. His shoulders sagged and he began shuffling his feet in the sand beneath them.

“Just some shit going on. Don’t worry about it,” he said, and though it wasn’t the answer Evan had hoped for, he knew better than to push it too far.

“Okay… You know you can always talk to me though, right?” he said, watching Tyler’s expression. The smile that tugged at his lips seemed genuine this time if not fully there, a war of emotions flashing behind his eyes.

“I know, gay boy.” They both laughed, and Evan patted him lightly on the arm before jogging off to help Bryce, who was dangerously close to dropping the heavy duffel bag he’d for some reason been tasked with bringing from the car. Unsurprisingly, as soon as he was no longer looking all the joy vanished from Tyler’s face and he continued staring at the waves like they held answers to questions he’d never dared to ask aloud.


	6. the night is young

By around nine at night the party was in full swing. Orange and purple fairy lights were wrapped around anything they could be and three separate fire pits were lined across the sands. Nobody was drunk off their ass yet, but several people were toeing the line. At least half the school had come to attend, for the most part in costume thanks to it being Halloween, and as Evan tried to mingle he realized he didn’t actually know the names of a lot of the crowd.

He took refuge with Scotty and Marcel, or should he say Woody the Cowboy and Finn the Human, who were sitting around one of the fires and burning the shit out of their marshmallows. Evan didn’t even feel the need to involve himself in a conversation, watching them torment one another and impishly crush graham crackers down each other’s shirts was entertainment enough. He took another sip of his cocktail, something fruity that Luke had mixed together for him, and smirked as Scotty shoved a gooey marshmallow into Marcel’s mouth without warning.

“Wu huda hoo do hah?” Marcel said indecipherably. Scotty laughed even louder as Marcel swallowed the sticky mess, white fluff all over his lips. “Why would you do that?”

“I made that just for you babbyyyyy,” Scotty chuckled. Evan laughed too, downing the last of his drink in one go. He didn’t want to get wasted but he had the intention of getting relatively fucked up tonight.

“Now I’m all messy,” Marcel pouted. Evan grinned as Scotty mock pouted in return.

“I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding all too apologetic and not  _looking_ all too apologetic with the amusement still sparkling in his eyes. “How do I make it up to you?”

Marcel pondered his options for a moment, then suddenly pointed at his friend’s head like a child. “I get to wear the hat.”

They were just making the trade (Marcel, being a good sport, was letting Scotty wear the Finn hat while he wore the Woody one) when Evan felt a tap on his shoulder, and he twisted his body to see who was there. None other than Daithi De Nogla, grinning like a fool with a plan. “Hello Evan.”

He quirked an eyebrow as a smirk creeping onto his face. “Hello Nogla.”

“Come on,” David said, gesturing for Evan to stand up, which he did. “I wanna show you something.”

Although he was skeptical, to say the least about it, he followed the fellow sophomore across the beach, passing by people laughing and dancing and the occasional couple making out. Brock, Brian and Craig were stood in a circle with a handful of others having a nice chat, including Suni, whose shoulders Craig had one arm over. Luke was the impromptu bartender and DJ by his own choice, currently amusing himself by nonchalantly arguing with someone who would definitely be hungover come morning. Ryan was walking around in the water fully clothed— shoes, jeans, hoodie and all— while Bryce stood as close to the ocean as he dared and shouted for him to come back. (In response, Ryan laughed deviously and waded in deeper just to see the panic in Bryce's eyes.)

The only person Evan couldn’t pinpoint was Tyler. “Nogla, have—”

“Look!” He frowned at David’s interruption, but all the same followed his gaze in the direction he nodded his head to see what could possibly be so exciting. And he froze.

“No way…” Stood at the fringe of all the action was one of the last people he ever expected to turn up to a party, dressed in a cobalt zip-up with dark jeans and a Jason mask flipped up on his hair. Before he could even gather his thoughts—  _Do I say hi? Does he want to be left alone? Who invited him? Did anyone invite him at all? Why did he come?_ — David had pushed Evan towards him, and he could tell by the piercing gaze he felt on him that Jon had noticed. He took the last few steps on his own, hoping the night would help conceal how his hands were shaking.

“Uh, hey," Evan started off. Jon grinned lightly, raising the hand that wasn’t holding a red plastic cup in greeting. Evan should have figured he wouldn’t be talking much. “Enjoying yourself?”

Jon seemed to think for a second, then hummed in a way that sounded positive. He lifted an eyebrow as if to ask the question in return, and Evan shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said, not willing to admit how happy he was that Jon had even turned up. He opened his mouth to ask a follow up question, but he felt his phone go off. With a frown he pulled it out of his pocket. “Not this shit right now…”

Evan nearly jumped as Jon suddenly put his hand out, taking a moment to register that he wanted the cellphone. With a curious expression he let him take it, watching as he tapped a couple things. And just like that he gave it back, sending a bold wink at Evan before pushing by him (brushing their shoulders, Evan noticed, of course he noticed) and disappearing into the party.

“What on earth was that?” came David’s voice as Evan stared with his jaw hanging open uselessly. Unable to shake away the shock he extended his mobile to his friend, still gazing at the place Jon had vanished.

“Did he do what I think he did?” Evan asked, and David chuckled as he read the screen.

“If you think he gave you his number, then yes, he did.”

 

 

“This is ridiculous.” Evan barely contained his laughter as they continued to watch Brian drunkenly attempt to chase Craig, probably just as shitfaced, around the beach. Marcel, however, didn't hold back.

“What started this anyway?” he asked.

“Craig kissed me on the cheek and made a joke about ‘his wife’ cheating on him,” Brock said as he came up, a complacent grin on his face and a can of soda in his hand. (Nerd.) Marcel giggled and Evan snickered, shaking his head and watching the show.

“Brock, you slut,” Marcel teased.

“ _Did_ you cheat on him?” Evan added.

“I never would.” Although he was tipsy he wasn’t drunk enough to miss how Brock sounded a little more earnest than he should for a joke. Without realizing, both Evan and Marcel were just looking at their friend and observing the fondness in his eyes as he watched Brian tackle Craig playfully to the ground.

“Brock?" said Marcel in a soft voice.

Brock glanced over at him calmly before casting his eyes into his beverage. “Yeah?"

Evan looked from Brock to Brian and Craig, who were back on their feet and calling a truce on their squabble. “It's nothing, Brock."

Marcel turned his attention to Evan, who subtly shook his head when they met eyes. Evan could see the moment when it all made sense to him and Marcel rolled back his head to look up at the stars. "You know, I wish our school didn't suck so bad with acceptance and shit."

“That would be nice.” They all looked to the left as Scotty made his reappearance duel wielding plastic cups. One for himself, one for Marcel, who took it with a grateful smile as they sidled up next to each other. “But it could be worse.”

“Worse?” Brock snorted, shaking his head. “Like that time Ryan got pushed into a locker for three hours?”

“Or that time everyone kept saying the n-word at me in the hallway,” Marcel added with anger seeping into his words.

“Or when the yearbook committee changed my name to Scotty Faggotson, which people still rip out of their yearbooks and leave in my locker,” Scotty said, and though it sounded like banter a gray emotion of some kind resided on his face. As Marcel wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders Evan cleared his throat, standing there awkwardly.

“Well. I think we should all get drunk and stop talking about this,” he suggested, receiving excited agreements from Marcel and Scotty who immediately made for the picnic bar, the other two following behind them.

“Come on, one drink,” Marcel said as they made it, looking at Brock.

“You’re not even the one driving tonight!” Scotty interjected before Brock could respond, the pair tag teaming on him. Evan chuckled under his breath at Brock’s conflicted expression and had to bite his bottom lip as Luke cheekily slid a shot across the table to him.

“I just don’t really care to right now,” Brock said, taking a step back. Though that was as far as he got before Brian was suddenly behind him, wrapping his arms around his torso and giggling drunkenly.

“Brock! Hey! You should come dance with me!” he said, kissing him on the cheek as if to erase the kiss Craig had planted there before.

“I dunno,” Brock squeaked, face going red and only going redder as Brian’s hands settled on his sides.

“ _Please?_ ” Brian whined childishly against his shoulder in a way that was borderline obscene, close enough to it anyway that Scotty threw a hand over his mouth to hide his disbelief.

Brock took the shot.

 

 

For a party, eleven was still pretty early into the night. More people had shown up, more people were drunk, and more people were dancing around in the sand like nobody was watching. Evan wasn’t one of them though. Instead he was sat on one of the logs they’d been using as a bench along with Ryan and Bryce, watching the dance floor while they bickered beside him.

“You can’t just walk around like that!” Bryce protested, referring to Ryan’s lack of pants. After getting them all wet he’d decided to take them off, apparently, and was now lounging around in boxer briefs and his hoodie. Evan almost missed his smirk highlighted by the glow of the fire.

“What, you jealous?” he asked. Bryce scowled, whacking his exposed thigh with the back of his hand.

“You’re gonna get sick,” Bryce said matter-of-factly, to which Ryan laughed.

“It’s California. It doesn’t get cold enough for that here!” He paused, the crackling of the flames taking its hold on the moment. “You’re jealous.”

Bryce huffed indignantly as he folded his arms over his chest, though he looked less annoyed and more flustered. “You’re the worst.”

“Absolutely,” Ryan agreed smugly, leaning closer to the younger boy and looping an arm behind his back. Bryce blushed almost immediately, glancing around to ensure nobody was looking, but everyone was too lost in themselves and in the Halloween vibes to pay mind to them.

“I hate you,” Bryce rephrased, though he didn’t move away as Ryan leaned his head on his shoulder.

“I know,” he said distractedly, more focused on Bryce himself than what Bryce was saying. Not sure where this was going and not sure he wanted to, Evan escaped to a different log and did the one thing he'd been thinking about doing all night.

\--

evan: hey it’s evan. just wanted you to have my number too.

jon: hey! glad you texted

evan: are you still here? i haven’t been able to find you

jon: you were looking for me? ;)

evan: ummm maybe

jon: sorry to tell you but i left. parties aren’t really my thing.

evan: then why’d you come?

jon: i knew you’d be there

evan: so you were looking for me? ;p

jon: i was

evan: really?

jon: yes really

evan: oh

jon: good thing you’re hot, you suck at conversations

evan: says the one who never talks!

evan: wait

evan: are you…?

jon: flirting with you? yes

evan: cool cool cool

jon: dork :p enjoy your party, i’ll see you on monday

evan: oh yeah, see you monday

jon: hey evan one more thing

evan: what’s up

jon: "daddy"?

evan: i swear i wasn't the one who set that as my nickname

jon: mmhmmmm

jon: ;)


	7. the morning after

“What’re you doing?” Evan hadn’t seen Tyler since they’d gotten here, and his first appearance of the night was apparently lying on the beach like a starfish. The tall boy huffed, staring up at the sky, limbs splayed out unapologetically.

“Brooding,” he said. Evan frowned as he sat down in the sand beside him, offering the last of his drink. Tyler sat up long enough to spill it down his throat, handing the cup off before falling back once more.

“Pouting?” Evan teased.

“ _Brooding_ ,” Tyler repeated more firmly, giving his friend a sideways glance. “Come on man, my machismo’s already shriveling up to die, let me have this.”

Despite the funny wording, Evan didn’t laugh. “Wait, why?”

With a groan Tyler pressed his hands against his face, shaking his head slightly. “I’m gonna need a little more alcohol to answer that.”

Evan pushed himself to his feet with that and returned a few moments later with four shots balanced in his fingers. Tyler peeked between his palms, bringing himself into a sitting position when he noticed what gift Evan had brought him. Without any inhibition he did the first shot, the liquid not even fully swallowed before he was waving for Evan to hand him another one. “You’re gonna hate yourself in the morning.”

“I hate myself now, give it to me,” Tyler demanded, taking another from him and knocking it down. Evan snickered, tossing back one of the shots himself for the sole purpose of preventing Tyler from doing all four, hiding the third behind his back.

“Ready to talk now?” Evan asked, crossing his legs and looking at his buddy intently. Tyler hiccuped, holding a balled hand against his lips as he thought.

“Mini brought Suni,” he started, eyes narrowing at a random spot on the ground. “And I shouldn’t care.”

“But you do?” Evan asked, and Tyler’s gaze flickered up to meet his. After a pause he gestured for Evan to give him the third shot, but the sophomore shook his head. “Nuh uh, talk first, tequila later.”

Tyler practically growled, running a hand through his hair and looking over his shoulder. Sitting on some large rocks were the two people he’d mentioned, laughing and talking, just generally having fun. “I do, okay?” he outburst out as he whipped his head back to Evan with a pained look crossing his face. “I care and it’s shitty and I wanna rip my fucking heart out of my chest. Give.”

He was stunned but Evan complied, barely pulling the tiny plastic glass out from behind him before Tyler had snatched it up and tossed it back. “Are you saying you… like Craig?”

“You’re gayer than I am,” Tyler responded, roughly putting the shot cup back in Evan's palm. “Figure it out.”

Evan’s eyes went owl sized, blanking completely on what to say. Before he could stutter out an attempt at a response Tyler was dragging himself up and stumbling precariously on his feet. Evan stood up too, throwing an arm around his friend’s waist as he struggled to keep his footing. “You okay dude?”

It took a moment but eventually Tyler straightened out, letting his arm come around his shorter friend’s shoulders. He nodded, giving a reassuring smile and dipping his head. “I’m good. Gonna go fuck with Smitty. Try not to think about emotions and bullshit.”

He pushed away in the direction of Lucas and John and whoever else was situated within that group. Evan watched him for a while before turning his attention to Craig and Suni, who were now facing the wind on one of the rocks and recreating the iconic flying scene from The Titanic, laughter ringing through the air. And as cute as they were, as happy as Evan wanted to be for Craig, he just couldn’t help but think about Tyler.

 

 

The more he drank the more of a blur the rest of the event became. Evan saw Ryan and Bryce come back to the party from somewhere at some point, Ryan wearing some fresh clothes and Bryce looking messed up but content with it. Brock and Brian were dancing together, Brian goofing around while Brock laughed and smiled in a way that seemed so innocent and pure. Craig kissed Suni. Scotty and Marcel were playing some kind of drinking game. Lui and David kissed during a round of Truth or Dare but made a point of jokingly saying _no homo_ a dozen times.

Essentially a lot of things happened, but one thing really stuck with Evan and was the first thing he thought of when he woke up the next morning, head pounding and eyesight blurry against the sunlight. The reminder that he’d actually done it rather than just imagined it was on the screen of his phone, beside him on the blanket: He’d called Delirious. He’d called Delirious and told him the one thing he’d always promised himself he’d never tell Delirious.

He moaned pathetically to himself, about what he’d done or how sick he felt he wasn’t quite sure. Either way it gained him a pillow to the face which cut off the sound he was making. “Shut the fuck up before I puke on you,” Tyler said irritably. Evan peeled the pillow away from his eyes and looked up at his friend, who was on the sofa beside him while Evan himself was apparently on the floor.

“We at your place or mine?” he asked, letting his eyes fall closed and releasing a heavy breath.

“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Tyler grumbled back. He sounded as energetic as Evan felt.

“Neither,” came a third voice, and Evan cracked open an eye again to see Brock coming in with two mugs in hand. Evan pushed himself into a sitting position and gratefully took the fresh coffee from him. “We’re at Luke’s apartment. He had to go to work but he said to show ourselves out whenever. He figured our parents would probably kill us if we went home as drunk as we were last night.”

Evan quirked an eyebrow. “Even you?”

Brock chuckled tiredly, nodding his head as he put the coffee he’d brought for Tyler down and picked up a different mug that Evan hadn’t previously noticed on the end table. He sat down beside Evan, leaning his head against the base of the sofa. “ _Especially_ me. I was throwing up for at least an hour after I got up.”

“Have fun though?” Evan asked, blowing on his drink. He stopped as Brock’s smile got weaker, putting the coffee on the floor beside him and orienting his body towards his friend. “Something happen?”

Brock hummed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Brian kissed me.”

Tyler shot up on the couch behind them, though he didn’t get to say anything because he suddenly went pale and leapt off the cushions, making a run for the bathroom. Both boys couldn’t help their quiet laughter, Brock leaning his head on Evan’s shoulder and slouching against him. In turn, Evan put an arm over his shoulders, glancing sideways at him. “So... what does that mean, Brock?'

Brock swallowed before speaking. “It… I don't know. But he doesn’t remember it. When he woke up he was all freaked out and he wanted me to assure him we _didn’t_ end up kissing, so… I lied and said we didn’t.”

The boy exhaled, and Evan pulled him into a side hug, sympathy filling his chest. “It’s hard having a crush on a straight boy, huh Moo?”

Brock laughed lightly. “Yeah… sure.”

“It sucks,” said Tyler, leaning against the wall as he reentered from down the hall, wiping the corner of his mouth.

“But _you’re_ straight…?” Brock said in a questioning tone, and Tyler snickered.

“Technically we're all straight if you believe our shit,” he said, sniffing gracelessly and running a hand through his messy hair. Brock gave him a look, the corner of his mouth falling slightly.

“I don't think Craig is...?” Tyler moved his hands in some exasperated gesture.

“So what! He's just as hard to get! Making out with that stupid Suni bitch…” Evan felt a smirk spreading on his lips as Tyler and Brock continued speaking, the conversation turning pretty quickly into Brock playing innocent and asking questions that wound Tyler up more and more as they went. He was drinking some of his coffee as his phone buzzed, and curiously Evan picked it up, his heart stopping for a second as he saw who had texted him.

**\--**

delirious: hey vanoss… can we talk?

evan: yeah… i guess you probably have questions

delirious: a few

evan: like what?

delirious: were you drunk or did you mean it?

evan: remind me of what i said

delirious: evan...

evan: okay, okay...

evan: i don't know. i think i meant it but i don't know.

delirious: for what it's worth i liked you too

evan: wait you did?

delirious: yeah. you didn't notice?

evan: wow

evan: no, i guess i didn't

evan: i feel so stupid

delirious: it’s okay. that was in the past right? i know you have a crush on that jon guy now and i like just being ur friend :)

evan: oh. yeah. thanks.

delirious: totally telling the other guys you used to crush on me though

evan: pleeeaaasseee do not, nogla's going to have a heart attack

delirious: i'm gonna

evan: i’m gonna tell them you had a crush on me then

delirious: oh they already know

evan: what

delirious: yeah i told them a few months ago

delirious: also i still have a crush on you, idiot

\--

“So were you fucks gonna tell me that Delirious  _actually_ likes me?” Evan burst out in the middle of one of Tyler’s sentences, snapping up from his phone with a look of betrayal. Brock and Tyler shared a look before simultaneously erupting into uproarious laughter. Although they seemed pleasantly amused, all Evan could do was stare into his mug and wonder how he'd come to the point of drunkly confessing, to  _another guy_ , that he liked them... and what the hell that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note: suni is not a bitch obviously and she's great, don't take angry!tyler's words from this fic as how he nor i feel about her.
> 
> other side note: please keep in mind that this is all fiction and of course not in any way meant to be disrespectful to the people mentioned nor taken as real/realistic.


	8. the curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: bryce (Bryce Games), squad mom (Brock/Moo), twink (Craig/MiniLadd), squad dad (Brian/Terroriser), ryan (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious),

**gays assnonymous**

_ship captain added ryan to the chat_

_ship captain added bryce to the chat_

bryce: oh hello

squad mom: hi bryce :)

_ship captain changed bryce’s name to angel bean_

twink: oh so i get twink and he gets angel bean???

angel bean: omg

squad dad: it’s not marcel’s fault that you’re a twink mini

ryan: pretty accurate

_ship captain changed ryan’s name to asswrecker_

angel bean: don’t do it

asswrecker: …

daddy: do it ohm

strippergram: do it and you’re cool

spooky sexy skeleton: do it and you’re cool!

asswrecker: p r e t t y a c c u r a t e

twink: YEAH BOIIII

angel bean: oh my GO D

daddy: bet you were wrecking dat ass last night huh? ;)

squad mom: can you guys behave for once

squad dad: brock, they can’t help themselves and you know it

spooky sexy skeleton: ohhhhhhhhhhhh

angel bean: i haven’t even seen ryan since friday night shhhh :(

strippergram: so he wrecked your ass friday night instead got it

asswrecker: ;))

ship captain: this is glorious

angel bean: i suddenly have to gO my mom is calling me

daddy: seriously thoooooooo wtf happened at the party? are you and ryan together now?

twink: please say yes

strippergram: yeah come on you guys have been doing this fwb thing way too long

asswrecker: didn’t think you guys actually noticed that

spooky sexy skeleton: i haven’t even hung out with you two in person and i noticed

angel bean: uhh well

asswrecker: yeah we’re together now

ship captain: REALLY

asswrecker: made it official yesterday boiiiiiss

squad mom: congrats you two!

angel bean: thanks mom <3

squad mom: you’re welcome son

twink: wait that means you have the same anniversary as me and suni :D

strippergram: what

asswrecker: hey that’s awesome!

ship captain: YOU AND SUNI!?

twink: yeah :)

strippergram: excuse me

spooky sexy skeleton: nice! she’s hot

squad dad: three of our kids are in a relationship now brock how do you feel

squad mom: i’m happy for everyone. i just hope they’re with the people they’re meant to be.

spooky sexy skeleton: that sounds ominous moo

twink: is it okay if she sits with us at lunch tomorrow?

angel bean: yeah! :D i wanna get to know her

asswrecker: we could do a double date or something cheesy sometime

ship captain: only if you all take cute selfies

twink: deal

_strippergram left the chat_

squad dad: woah

\--

evan: dude are you alright?

tyler: i’m great

evan: for real?

tyler: i’m good, evan

evan: are you sure

tyler: kinda

evan: what does kinda mean

tyler: it means i’m kinda sure what the fuck do you want from me

evan: i want you to tell me if you’re actually okay or not?

evan: without lying

tyler: why wouldn’t i be okay

evan: well… the mini and suni thing

tyler: why should i care

evan: because you like him

tyler: whatever

evan: tyler

tyler: FUCK OFF EVAN I’M FUCKING FINE OKAY!!???

tyler: shit

tyler: sorry. listen i don’t fucking know how to feel right now, i have no fucking clue if i’m alright

tyler: i’ll tell you after i’m done punching shit

evan: do you want me to come over?

tyler: i don’t know

evan: i’ll be there soon

tyler: yeah, ok… see you soon

 

 

“Hey.” He poked Tyler lightly on the shoulder, smiling sympathetically when his friend’s eyes focused and he came back from whatever daydream he was zoning out in. “You’re staring at them again.”

The morning had been rough, and rather than focusing on school or even his whole Jon vs. Delirious dilemma, Evan had spent the hours worrying over Tyler. He hadn’t slept last night, at all, and had refused breakfast as well. He hadn’t fallen asleep in any of his classes yet (as far as Evan knew) but he was extremely spacey, gazing off at things and going into his own little world. It just so happened that now, at lunch, the thing he was gazing off at was Craig and Suni at the other side of the table.

Tyler sighed, tearing his eyes away and folding his arms on the table, resting his head on top of them. “Yeah, I bet I was,” he said solemnly as he let his eyes close. Evan opened his mouth to ask if he’d at least have an apple or something (he didn’t seem like he planned on having lunch either), but was cut off as someone sat down at his other side. He turned his head and was immediately taken aback, unblinking and lips parted as he was left face to face with none other than Jon.

“Hey, I told him to come sit with us. Is that okay?” asked David with a charming smile, taking the empty seat between the newcomer and Scotty. Evan nodded his head, trying to shake off his awkwardness as Jon beamed at him.

“Heeyyyy, welcome to the table Jonathan!” said Ryan from his place beside Bryce, an arm shamelessly looped around the younger boy’s waist. Jon dipped his head towards him in acknowledgement but didn’t say anything. As usual, thought Evan. He turned his attention to his tray, putting half of his sandwich on a napkin and putting it aside for Tyler despite the fact that their giant of a friend was detached from real life at the moment.

Evan looked up as he caught Jon scoot something closer to him from his peripheral, unintentionally giving a confused pout as he saw it was a tiny piece of paper. He took a closer look and smiled in understanding as he saw what was scrawled over it.

**_Sorry for not talking. Social anxiety._ **

Evan chuckled softly, leaning over to grab a pen from his bag before writing a message in return, trying not to grin too brightly at the sparkle in Jon's eye when he passed it back.

**_It’s okay. I’m glad you decided to sit with us._ **

For the next fifteen minutes Jon and Evan passed notes to one another, though Evan’s attention was divided between that and keeping an eye on Tyler, who was alternating from lying his head down to stealing glances at his crush and his crush’s new girlfriend. Craig and Suni seemed happy, messing around and making jokes with Scotty, Marcel and Brian. She fit right in… and Evan could just _tell_ that Tyler hated it. And if the others couldn’t before, they definitely could when Tyler suddenly slammed his hands on the table before standing up and walking away without a word.

“Woah… Is he—?” Ryan didn’t get to finish the thought.

“Heads up, fags!” Some douchebags behind him suddenly spilled the contents of their trays right over his and Bryce’s heads, drenching them in food. Bryce yelped, face stricken with disbelief, while Ryan just froze and let milk drip from the top of his hood into his lap. The rest of the table went absolutely silent, looking at their two friends while the assholes who’d done the damage left cackling.

This day was the day that the string of bad luck the crew deemed The Curse began.

 

 

delirious: so he stormed off?

evan: yeah… i think he couldn’t take mini and suni anymore

delirious: i guess he really likes craig

evan: i guess he does

evan: i wasn't sure if he was serious or not until now. i'm worried man.

delirious: give him some time and see if he gets better

delirious: it did just happen and all

evan: yeah you’re right

delirious: is that why it was the worst day ever?

evan: nope

evan: after that happened some dicks dumped their food on ohm and bryce

delirious: yeah i saw that :/

evan: yikes… really?

delirious: think the whole lunch room saw

evan: i’m so pissed

delirious: me too

evan: the worst part is ryan didn’t get mad he just shut off or something

delirious: he’s used to it

evan: he shouldn’t have to be

delirious: i know

evan: this towns so fucking homophobic i hate it

delirious: you said something happened to bryce was it that?

evan: no (:

evan: bryce got the shit beat out of him in gym class

evan: i think he’s okay but he has some bruises and stuff

delirious: oh shit

delirious: how can anyone hurt bryce?????

evan: RIGHT? he’s too nice for that crap

delirious: and how are you doing

evan: me?

delirious: i mean it’s gotta stress you out too

evan: i guess so

evan: i wish we could actually hang out

evan: could really use my best friend right now :p

delirious: then text him, i'm sure nogla would love some company xD

evan: no my other best friend

delirious: wildcat?

evan: i'm serious

delirious: i know, sorry

delirious: maybe we can eventually

evan: i’m holding you to that

delirious: alright i gotta get to bed

delirious: ily evan

evan: love you too del

evan: goodnight


	9. weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: asswrecker (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), squad mom (Brock/Moo), twink (Craig/MiniLadd), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious)

"I'm gonna fucking kill myself." Evan huffed out a breath of amusement as Marcel hopped in the back seat of the car alongside him, tossing his backpack carelessly onto the floorboard.

"Mass group suicide?" Evan suggested.

"Yeah, let's do it," Marcel said casually, resting his head back. "We popping pills or jumping off the top of the school?"

"I was thinking we'd all just stab each other," Evan shrugged, reaching to click on his seat belt.

"Oh," Marcel said with interest. "Nice."

"Can you two lighten up back there?" came Brock's voice as he twisted around in his seat to look at them with a concerned expression.

"What if we pile into Cartoonz's pick-up and drive off a cliff?" Brian suggested out of nowhere. Brock slapped him on the arm and frowned in disapproval while Evan and Marcel giggled. The week had been a living hell, hence the darker-than-usual humor the group had adopted over the past five days. Tyler hadn't had any more outbursts and there had been no more food spillage, but other shit had happened and none of it was good. For example David had found out he was in jeopardy of failing maths, Scotty had been out sick for three days, and Ryan had showed up yesterday with a bruised jaw (though he wouldn't tell them where it came from).

On top of all that, Evan was struggling with all sorts of internal stuff. Jon had become a regular member of the group, sitting with them at lunch and even hanging out with them after school. Though he didn't really say much he'd become close with Ryan, and let David chew his ear off when they walked together in the halls. With Evan they mostly passed notes, opting to sit beside each other whenever given the chance. And it was great. Despite his silence Evan was starting to really like him. It was as if they'd known each other for years even though they'd only just started being friends.

On the flip side, Evan knew Delirious had an honest to god _crush_ on him now and had spent countless hours trying to figure out if the feeling was mutual. About a year ago Evan had been practically obsessed with his mysterious best friend, though had never mentioned it to anyone because how can you fall for someone you've never seen before? If that's what those feelings truly had been, and he'd thought he'd gotten past all that now anyway, but he just... wasn't so sure. Because staying up until two in the morning talking on the phone about life like he and Delirious had done last night didn't feel like _just friends_ behavior.

"Who do you think The Curse is gonna get next?" asked Marcel as they were getting close to Brock's place.

"Hopefully no one?" Brock said uncertainly, peeking at his friend through the rear view mirror.

"Yeah but that's not how it works, so who do you think it'll be?" Marcel repeated, folding his hands in his lap. "I think it'll be Brian."

"What!" Brian shouted indignantly, turning in his chair. "Listen here you fool..."

"You aren't known to have the best luck," Brock said, grinning as Brian glared over at him.

"Et tu, Brock?" Brian complained, though a fond smile had appeared on his face now. When they rolled up to Brock's place and got out of the vehicle, everyone hopping out just fine... except for Marcel. Who somehow tripped over a rock and fell, hitting the back of his head against the step of the side of the car on the way down.

"Marcel!" Brock shouted, skidding on the gravel and falling by the younger boy's side. Marcel groaned as Evan ran around the car, seeing him prop himself up on his elbow and hold his other hand tentatively to his skull. "Are you okay? Are you dizzy?"

"I'm good. Shouldn't have mocked The Curse," Marcel grimaced.

"Come on," Brian said, reaching down and hooking an arm under Marcel's. "I got you."

After the other guys had pulled him up to his feet they headed inside, Brock disappearing to get an ice pack, Brian and Evan escorting Marcel to the living room. Soon enough three of them were gathered on the floor playing video games while Marcel curled up in the corner of the sofa with frozen peas pressed to his head and watched. If they didn't believe in an actual curse before, they were forced to after Brian miserably lost all five rounds of Mario Kart.

 

 

**gays assnonymous**

asswrecker: anyone up yet?

squad mom: i am but marcel evan and brian are still asleep

asswrecker: so is bryce

squad mom: did you have a sleepover? :)

asswrecker: you could call it that

twink: what are you deviants talking about

asswrecker: heyyyyy good morning

twink: good morning

squad mom: hi craig

strippergram: sup losers

twink: yeay tyler's here! :D

strippergram: bet your ass he is

asswrecker: nice because i wanted to give an idea

squad mom: what is it?

strippergram: unless it involves titties or alcohol i'm out

asswrecker: well there would be alcohol

asswrecker: the only titties i can promise are my own

strippergram: sweet i'm in

asswrecker: for the booze or my titties?

strippergram: you can decide that ;)

squad mom: ...anyways

asswrecker: ;)

asswrecker: right so i was thinking we should all take a trip out of town for the weekend

twink: why?

asswrecker: to escape the curse

strippergram: i like this idea so far

asswrecker: idk where we would go though

spooky sexy skeleton: vanoss's hockey rink is a few miles outside of town and has a hotel connected since it's used for competitions

twink: how do you know that?

spooky sexy skeleton: he my best frieendd, i know things

twink: do you know things about meee?

spooky sexy skeleton: no i don't like you

twink: ;-;

strippergram: i could pitch in for a hotel

squad mom: me too. i bet evan would appreciate being at the rink.

asswrecker: and i haven't been skating in a while

twink: you gonna come delirious?

spooky sexy skeleton: nope

strippergram: bitch

twink: i guess we have to invite jon instead ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

spooky sexy skeleton: mean :(

squad mom: we could leave at noon, does that work?

asswrecker: sure, i'll wake bryce up now

strippergram: can someone come get me?

twink: me too

asswrecker: i'll come get you both after we get scotty

squad mom: we'll pick up jon

asswrecker: and i can ask luke to get nogla

spooky sexy skeleton: have fun! if i don't see you on monday i'll know you died XD

twink: you know delirious sometimes i don't like your sense of humor

 

 

"He looks good, doesn't he Evan?" Marcel teased as Jon stepped out of his house, gently closing the door behind him. Brock got out to open the trunk, smiling at Jon and waving for him to come to the back of the car. He wasn't wrong, Evan thought as his eyes followed the skinny senior. He was wearing a dark shirt, dark skinny jeans and his infamous blue hoodie, though his hair was styled all fluffy and if he wasn't mistaken…

"Is he wearing eyeliner?" Brian cooed, bopping Evan on the arm. (After yesterday, they'd allowed Marcel to sit in the front seat out of sympathy.) "Makes those pretty blue eyes pop."

"Wait, is this Evan's mans or yours?" Marcel piped up, looking over his shoulder in time to catch Brian flipping him off. Before Evan could say a word the door opened, and Brian slid out and clasped a hand on Jon's shoulder.

"You're middle since you're smallest," he smirked, and although he looked a tad confused Jon got into the car. Evan tried really hard not to pay too much attention to how their thighs brushed together.

"Hey Jonathan," he smiled instead, a bubbly feeling swirling in his stomach when Jon gawked momentarily at the use of his full name. The older boy gave a little wave before searching for his seatbelt and pulling it over his waist.

"Whoops." Nothing about Brian practically shoving Jon into Evan as he got back in was accidental even if he said that. Evan made a startled sound somewhere between a yelp and a shout, and at almost the same time everybody started to laugh. Except for Jon, who did that thing where there was laughter in his eyes and his smile was so wide that the corners of his mouth dimpled, but he didn’t actually laugh.

Evan _really_ wanted to hear him laugh.

Evan also really wanted to kiss him.

The chuckling started to die down and they pulled out of Jon’s driveway, Marcel insisting that he be allowed to pick the first song of the road trip while Brian avidly disagreed. When Brock joined in the argument, more to amuse himself than to attempt to gain anything, Jon leaned his head on Evan’s shoulder and practically snuggled into him. He could feel the heat in his cheeks and desperately hoped that none of his friends would say anything about it.

Evan didn’t kiss him. But he didn’t object when Jon rested a hand on his thigh either. He should have felt happy, nervous maybe but happy. He liked Jon, a lot… so why did he feel so guilty as he subtly placed his own hand on top of the other boy’s? Why… _Why do I feel like I’m cheating on Delirious…?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to Chinxino5 who has been super awesome during this story's creation, thank you so much for all the support and comments! if you haven't checked out their stories you should, "Cute" is one of my favorites and i'm awaiting the next part with excitement.


	10. ice skating incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: ship captain (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), scotty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), david (David/Daithi De Nogla), luke (Luke/Cartoonz), twink (Craig/MiniLadd), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious)

“ _Jesus_ , Ohm, what did you pack?” Evan closed the trunk of Brock’s car after he grabbed out his bag, glancing to his right to see the massive suitcase Ryan was leaning against.

“Primarily vodka,” he confessed with a shrug. He looked over towards the hotel. “So you’ve been here before, Evan?”

“Ah, yeah,” Evan said as his eyed turned up towards the building, a small grin finding its way onto his face. “Pretty much all the hockey competitions I’ve been in happen here so the team stays at the penthouse together a lot.”

“I wish we’d rented out the penthouse,” Tyler muttered, coming up beside Evan and tossing an arm over his shoulders.

“Me too,” he said, smiling up at him before hoisting his bag over his arm while the others started walking to the entrance. Tyler bounded ahead to catch up with David and Craig, and Evan turned his head to where Jon was... but something weird was happening. Jon was staring, unblinking, across the way at Luke. And Luke was staring right back, an impish smirk on his face. In the blink of an eye they both broke contact and continued on like nothing had happened. “Uh… Everything okay?”

Jon snapped his attention to him, a large smile appearing on his lips as he nodded, so Evan let it go for the time being (but like hell he'd completely forget). They were the last two into the lobby, memories flooding Evan’s mind as they approached the familiar counter. “Hi, we had rooms 612, 614 and 613 booked?” said Luke, passing over his fake ID and credit card with an easy grin. Soon enough they were at their own corner of the sixth floor, deciding who would be where.

“Mom and Dad get a bed,” said Marcel as he gestured over to Brock and Brian, who were standing side by side and looking over something on Brock’s phone.

“Mom and Dad?” Scotty murmured in confusion, but nobody paid him any mind.

“How about them and then Tyler and Mini in 612?” suggested David, and Evan felt himself nearly choke at the suggestion as he looked at the two.

“Last time we shared a bed you kicked me off,” Craig said with pretend annoyance, smiling up at Tyler, and to Evan’s surprise Tyler just grinned back and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“And I’ll do it again if you keep moving around in your sleep, bitch boy,” he teased, reaching out and taking the room key from Luke, gesturing to Brock and Brian to come with them.

“Uh, okay,” Evan said, shaking himself out of his shock and looking towards Ryan and Bryce. “You two are probably sharing a bed, right?”

In response Bryce smiled softly, absently pulling on one of the strings of Ryan's hoodie. “Sounds good.”

“Toonz, you with us?” Ryan asked as he grabbed both of Bryce’s hands, wrapping his boyfriend’s arms around himself while he leaned back against his chest.

“Sure,” Luke shrugged. “Who’s sharin’ the bed with me?”

“I'll do it,” said David, grabbing one of the keys from Luke’s hand and turning around, coming face to face with Jon and Evan. He snatched the prior’s hand and placed the card in his palm. “There you go Jon. You, Evan, Marcel and Scotty get 614.”

“Thanks,” said Jon quietly, one of the rare occasions in which he actually used his voice. Whenever he did he was always soft, and unless you were paying attention it would be easy to miss that he said anything at all. But Evan always noticed, and every time he felt his heart do a flip.

“Regroup in an hour or so?” asked Brock, with Craig for some reason tucked under his arm.

“Sounds good,” Ryan said, and with that they split off into their respective rooms. Almost immediately when Evan got into theirs Scotty and Marcel tackled one another onto the far bed and began wrestling around for the TV remote. Evan chuckled, shaking his head and looking to Jon.

“Looks like we’re sharing the other one. That okay?” There was no mistaking the dark pink blush on Jon’s cheeks as he shyly nodded. _I really want to kiss him, fuck…_ Instead Evan allowed his fingers to just barely brush the other boy’s as he went into the main part of the room, wondering if Jon ever had that intrusive thought as well.

 

 

**gays assnonymous**

_ship captain added scotty to the chat_

_ship captain added david to the chat_

_ship captain added luke to the chat_

twink: the gang’s all here!

scotty: ohhhh squad mom and dad. i get it now.

luke: gays assnonymous?

strippergram: long story short brian’s gay

squad dad: i fuckin hate you guys

david: when do we get cool names?

ship captain: do you want names?

scotty: do we get to pick them?

squad dad: heh no

ship captain: no

daddy: obviously not

scotty: AHAHAHH DADDY

david: i want naaaaames

ship captain: alright boys

_ship captain changed david’s name to taytos_

_ship captain changed luke’s name to hentai_

_ship captain changed scotty’s name to fourtw3nty_

taytos: i should have known

hentai: wut

squad mom: weed??? in my good christian neighborhood?

spooky sexy skeleton: welcome hentai taytos and fourtw3nty

hentai: hi delirious long time no see :)

spooky sexy skeleton: …

hentai: :)

spooky sexy skeleton: …

hentai: :)

strippergram: um… you guys good?

hentai: yeah :)

twink: where’s ohm and bryce?

taytos: they said they left something in the car but i think they’re just making out in the parking lot or something

squad dad: sexy

daddy: can we go skating before they close the rink?

ship captain: i don’t know how to skate

spooky sexy skeleton: neither do i

strippergram: is that why you refused to come

hentai: :)

spooky sexy skeleton: fuck u cartoonz

strippergram: seriously wtf is going on with you two

squad mom: i want to go too

daddy: we can all meet there in half an hour

hentai: i’ll go locate ohm and bryce

taytos: wait

ship captain: yes nogla

taytos: why didn’t we add jon?

hentai: :)

daddy: he said his phone will crash if we try to put him in a group chat

taytos: oh

spooky sexy skeleton: rip jon

twink: hey delirious jon and evan are sharing a bed

ship captain: i’ll take plenty of pics for you del

spooky sexy skeleton: you guys are terrible

daddy: can all of you stop

taytos: we just like making del jealous

fourtw3nty: why would he be jealous?

spooky sexy skeleton: because i have a crush on vanoss XD

squad mom: wait still?

spooky sexy skeleton: yeah

daddy: can we talk about something else

squad dad: i guess asking if evan knows is stupid

strippergram: he found out after the party last week

twink: my ships are so confused right now

ship captain: you’re telling me

fourtw3nty: this chat is wild

daddy: okkkkay i wanted to escape drama on this trip can we stop

taytos: this isn’t drama tho

twink: yeah delirious likes you but you like jon

strippergram: it’s more of a tragedy than a drama

_daddy left the group_

squad mom: oh man why are you guys bullying him like that

spooky sexy skeleton: now you have to take him skating :p

ship captain: yeahhhh he’s all pouty over here

fourtw3nty: see you all in half an hour!

 

“You’ve never been on the ice before, have you?” Evan grinned as Jon shook his head, clinging to the wall of the rink for dear life. Marcel was in about the same condition, except instead of clinging to the wall he was holding on to Scotty’s arm as they slowly did laps.

“Come on Jonny, you can do it,” Luke called from about a meter away, his hands tucked in his jacket pockets and a smirk on his face while Ryan and Bryce did some beginner spins behind him. The crew were the only ones at the rink at the moment, as it was closing in twenty minutes and most everyone else had gone back to their rooms for the night or were out getting dinner. Which was lucky, since David and Tyler were racing around and crashing into walls at random while Craig stood by and filmed it.

“Here.” Evan offered a hand, palm up, and looked up with a soft expression. Jon’s eyes met his and after a couple of moments of debating he let go of the wall and put his trust in the other boy. Tentatively Jon let go of the perimeter all together, giving Evan both his hands, and with a reassuring smile Evan started to skate backwards.

Jon looked absolutely terrified at first, his fingers shaking and his knees locked as Evan helped him glide along the ice. As they continued he began to relax, his vice-like grip on Evan starting to as well. “There you go!” Brock shouted encouragingly, skating past them at his own leisurely pace.

“You’re getting the hang of it,” Evan told him, butterflies swarming in his stomach as Jon glanced up at him and grinned. As they gazed at one another the world around them seemed to fade, and all Evan could focus on was how goddamn _blue_ the older boy’s eyes were, how delicate and delicate his features were. _Kiss him_. For once he didn’t chase the thought out of his mind, and Jon must have somehow known, because now they were both leaning into one another…

“EVAN!” He was jolted out of the moment only to notice Tyler hurdling towards them, terror in his eyes as his limbs flailed around. Evan barely pushed Jon back and out of the way in time to avoid getting body checked, but that didn’t save himself from Tyler as he came colliding into him. Evan felt the air get knocked from his lungs as he was slammed against the wall, and his vision spun when his head connected with the solid ice. Though that was nothing compared to the sharp pain he felt as one of the skates cut him across the side.

“Everyone back, everyone back!” Brian barked, though Brock and Craig both ignored the words, Craig dropping to help Tyler back to his feet and Brock doing so with Evan. He bit his teeth together to prevent any sounds from leaving his lips but winced as he got up, pressing a hand to the fresh gash on his abs.

“I’m… I’m so sorry,” Tyler said brokenly as he noticed the blood and torn shirt, looking pale. Evan smiled weakly and shook his head.

“It’s not you, it’s the fucking Curse,” he said, sighing as he glanced around at his circle of friends. “Guess it’s not local after all…”

“Come on, we need to make sure you don’t need to go to the hospital,” Marcel said, and slowly they all got back on solid land, David and Jon hovering around Evan despite him telling them he was alright. When they got back to the rooms, Brock followed into Evan’s and told him to sit down on the bed.

“I’m fine,” Evan repeated for what felt like the fiftieth time as Brock examined the wound, focused and intent.

“Yeah, it doesn’t look bad. But I’m still gonna go get some bandages and stuff,” he decided after a while, standing up straight and looking at Jon. “Take care of him until we get back.”

“Can you guys do me a favor and see if Tyler’s okay? It looked like he hit his head harder than I did,” Evan said to Marcel and Scotty after Brock left the room, and they both nodded, neither much in the mood for talking after what had just happened and he couldn’t blame them. He wasn’t either. Which was why, he supposed, he wanted a minute alone with the one person who never felt the need for talking.

As the door closed behind the two Jon shifted in the corner of Evan’s eye, and he turned his head to ask if he was alright. He didn’t get the chance. Before he said anything Jon had suddenly placed a hand on the side of his face and their lips were being pressed together. Evan gasped a little, but after a heartbeat his eyes fell closed and he leaned into it, moving his lips in sync with Jon’s and reveling in how _perfect_ this felt.

Maybe this curse had some good connected to it after all.


	11. truth or nudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: squad mom (Brock/Moo), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), fourtw3nty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), taytos (David/Daithi De Nogla), ship captain (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), angel bean (Bryce/Bryce Games), asswrecker (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), hentai (Luke/Cartoonz)

“This seems like a terrible idea,” Tyler said as he sat on the floor to join his friends, legs crossed.

“It does,” Brock agreed, giving the bottle situated in the middle of the circle a tentative trial spin. It wobbled around as the neck came to a stop pointing at Marcel. He scoffed as he picked it up.

“It is, which is why it’s fun,” he declared, having been the man behind the idea of Truth or Dare. The bottle had been an unopened liter of vodka at the start of their drinking at around two in the afternoon, so almost everyone (aside from Brock, Luke and Ryan, the designated drivers) were already rather tipsy. Getting wasted on a Sunday night was a completely idiotic idea but since when weren't they pros at making poor decisions Evan thought as he watched David tip back a shot of whiskey.

“Who goes first?” asked Luke, sat back on both hands and regarding the game curiously.

“Yeah, I wanna see some people in this room make out with each other,” Craig joked. Evan looked at Jon at the same time as Jon looked at him, and they shared a knowing smile, Evan giggling to himself as he turned away.

“I’ll go first,” Marcel said, replacing the bottle and spinning it around. Around, around, around… It landed on himself. “Oh fuck this, someone else do it.”

The group laughed as Scotty stepped up to the plate, whirling the bottle around and landing on Brian. “Terroriser, truth or dare?”

Brian hummed, bringing his beer away from his mouth and licking some of the foam off his upper lip. “Dare I guess.”

“Kiss Brock,” Marcel jumped in instantly, and Scotty nodded, gesturing to him. Brian rolled his eyes but smirked all the same, putting his cup to the side.

“Somehow I knew you’d say that,” he said in a humorous tone, and Evan snorted as he looked over at Brock. He was shifting nervously beside Brian, blushing at the idea.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said with a casual shrug, fiddling with his hands.

“Yes he does,” Craig shot back with a wide grin, Tyler snickering and bumping his shoulder.

“Ah fuck it,” Brian said, and with that he looped a hand around the back of Brock’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. Evan stared on with his mouth open, but as the two broke apart he along with the others made little celebratory sounds.

“That was pretty gay dude,” David teased as Brock tried his best not to smile like a fool. Brian raised an eyebrow, reclaiming his beer.

“Nothing gay about kissing your mate,” he commented, pressing the rim of his cup to his bottom lip. Then a devious smile appeared on his face, and they just barely caught the second thing he said. “But…”

“ _But?_ ” Marcel pressed, leaning towards him. Brock looked startled, staring over at his friend. Brian brought the cup to his lap, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve and shrugging before meeting Brock’s gaze.

“Well come on. You all know I have a thing for him,” he stated, a certain fondness in his eyes that Evan wasn’t used to seeing. A tiny smile spread on Brock’s lips as he realized what that meant, Marcel clasping a hand over his mouth in excitement in the background.

“How drunk are you?” Ryan asked, laughing, but Brian shook his head.

“Not very,” he said honestly. Then he and Brock were kissing again, the group cheering as Craig took some stealth pictures. They didn’t pull apart for a couple of seconds, but when they did Brock giggled, burying his face against Brian’s shoulder. “If anything about this leaves this room I’ll kill every single one of ya's by the way.”

“Noted,” Luke nodded, gesturing to the bottle. “Your turn, dude.”

The bottle circled a couple of times before eventually settling on Bryce. Brian lifted his cup in the boy’s direction, his free arm wrapped around Brock’s waist. “Truth or dare?”

“Um… Truth?” Bryce decided, smiling gently.

“Who tops?” Brian threw out almost instantaneously. Bryce’s cheeks went bright pink. He didn’t even answer, instead Ryan smugly pulled his boyfriend onto his lap and let them deduce from there. As they all snickered Bryce hurriedly spun the bottle around, landing on Marcel.

“Truth or dare?” Bryce asked, starting to recover from his moment of embarrassment.

“Truth,” Marcel shrugged, sipping on some sort of concoction that was mostly liquor and perhaps a fifth juice.

“Who do you want to take to the New Year's Dance?” Of course the more innocent inquiry would come from their very own Angel Bean.

“Uh… Nobody really. If I don’t find a date I’ll probably just take Scotty,” he said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of his friend.

“Has anyone shipped you two before?” asked Tyler out of the blue, narrowing his eyes across the circle at the pair.

“Probably,” said Scotty, placing his hands on his knees.

“I do,” said David, raising his hand, and Scotty pointed towards him to answer Tyler’s question.

“Evan.” He looked up at the sound of his name, and took a moment to process that the bottle was now aimed at him.

“Oh, uh… dare?”

“Send nudes to Delirious.” Tyler and Craig erupted into laughter at once, and even Ryan and Bryce were hiding giggles behind their hands. Evan blinked slowly, practically glaring at Marcel. “You have to. And you can’t tell him it’s a dare.”

He huffed in disbelief, looking over at Jon to back him up on why he shouldn't. But even _he_ seemed amused by the situation, his face turned to the side in a (failed) attempt to hide the laugh-smile on his face. “Fine!” Evan blurted out, jumping up to his feet and bringing his phone with him to the bathroom.

\--

_evan sent an image_

delirious: um

delirious: vanoss i think you sent that to the wrong person

evan: nope

delirious: this is delirious

evan: yup

delirious: wait what

delirious: oh

delirious: OH

delirious: o h

evan: you okay?

delirious: ummmm yes i’m great

delirious: confused but great

evan: good :p

delirious: why did you send me that though

evan: idk i wanted to

delirious: god i hate you

evan: oh uh

evan: i’m sorry did i completely just cross a line here

delirious: ahaha no no no it’s not that i don’t actually hate you it’s just

delirious: god dammit

evan: ?

delirious: you’re fucking hot

evan: thank you?

delirious: and i’m very attracted to you

delirious: and you just sent me nudes

evan: oh…?

delirious: i’m turned on evan

delirious: that’s what i’m saying

evan: OHHHH

evan: oh

evan: i am sorryyyyyyyyy

delirious: no you’re not :p

evan: hehe

evan: you right

\--

When he came back into the room there had been a few more bottle spins, evident by the fact that Craig was now watching everyone play while doing a headstand. Evan snuck back into the game, taking his place beside Jon, who was immersed in his phone. Though Jon seemed off. He was shifting around awkwardly and avoiding eye contact. Plus Luke was staring him down for some odd reason… A wave of guilt crashed into Evan like a truck out of nowhere. Jon was probably upset with this whole thing, wasn’t he? Just last night they’d been secretly making out in the bed they were sharing, and now Evan was sending nudes to another guy and it… God this whole situation was so messy. Why couldn't he just morph Delirious and Jon into one person and have them both…?

 

**gays assnonymous**

squad mom: how has everyone’s monday morning been?

strippergram: i still feel hungover and dead

fourtw3nty: me too

taytos: me three

ship captain: me four

daddy: the weekend was a bad idea

ship captain: you’re just saying that because you had to send nudes

spooky sexy skeleton: *cough*

daddy: no i’m saying that because i got cut open by an ice skate

ship captain: ohhhhh… right…

strippergram: i'm still sorry about that

daddy: nah jk it was fun and don't worry about it tyler it's cool

squad dad: i think it was fun

angel bean: it was

taytos: brian are you out of the closet now?

squad dad: i’m not anything i just like brock

squad mom: <3

asswrecker: you know when a guy likes another guy that’s gay right

squad dad: oh shut up

hentai: you should have been there delirious it was great

spooky sexy skeleton: yeah

hentai: :)

strippergram: not this again

taytos: yeah! brian and brock kissed and brian said he likes him.

spooky sexy skeleton: i knowwww

hentai: :)

spooky sexy skeleton: vanoss filled me in

strippergram: ??? @ luke and delirious

ship captain: where’s craig btw

strippergram: some assholes stole his phone

fourtw3nty: the curse strikes again

strippergram: he’s getting a new one after school i guess so that’s good

spooky sexy skeleton: why would anyone take his phone

taytos: to find them spicy nudes

asswrecker: they’d have to take del’s phone for that

spooky sexy skeleton: true ;p

daddy: fight me

ship captain: wait delirious you don’t find it weird that we all know about that

spooky sexy skeleton: i figured it was probably a dare

daddy: smart

spooky sexy skeletons: more like you all are idiots

strippergram: tru dat tru dat

hentai: hey evan

daddy: what

hentai: so do you like jon or do you like delirious?

spooky sexy skeleton: shut up toonz

ship captain: i wanted to know that too

daddy: ummm

angel bean: you don’t have to answer that evan

fourtw3nty: yeah he do

daddy: i don’t know okay

spooky sexy skeleton: it’s fine you really don’t have to answer vanoss

hentai: :)

strippergram: okay seriously wtf is nobody else noticing that he keeps doing that

squad dad: idk what you’re talking about tyler

taytos: i need to know what to ship

asswrecker: same

squad mom: everyone leave him alone he’ll figure it out

daddy: thank you brock

squad mom: though i personally ship him with delirious

_daddy left the chat_

spooky sexy skeleton: do you really? :D

squad mom: absolutely

spooky sexy skeleton: thanks mom

squad dad: that’s my boy

taytos: *friend

squad dad: what

fourtw3nty: boyfriend

squad dad: oh yeah that too

ship captain: WAIT A SECOND

_ship captain added evan to the chat_

ship captain: SAY THAT AGAIN

squad dad: brock’s my boyfriend?

daddy: YES

asswrecker: i love this family :’)

strippergram: so proud :’)

hentai: now to figure out evan’s boyfriend

_daddy left the chat_

spooky sexy skeleton: fuck u

hentai: :)

strippergram: SERIOUSLY WHAT

taytos: what are you talking about tyler

ship captain: yeah i have no idea

angel bean: me neither

strippergram: i hate you all


	12. pizza de nogla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: ship captain (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), twink (Craig/MiniLadd), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), squad dad (Brian/Terroriser), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), taytos (David/Daithi De Nogla), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), fourtw3nty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), asswrecker (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), squad mom (Brock/Moo), angel bean (Bryce/Bryce Games),

“I dunno. It’s like… weird.” Tyler sighed heavily, taking a long drink from his Starbucks coffee before setting it back down on the table. Evan hummed as he stirred his drink around with his straw, only barely paying attention to the conversation at hand.

“It seemed like you and Suni were getting along really well at lunch yesterday,” said Brock, completely in supportive friend mode. To the point that Evan actually felt a little guilty for being so preoccupied.

“Yeah, I mean… she’s great,” Tyler said, looking down at his lap and shrugging. “I like her. And if I care about him I should be supportive and all that crap, right? So I’m happy for them.”

“You’re waiting for them to break up, aren’t you?” Brian asked, glancing up from his phone.

“One hundred percent,” Tyler answered almost immediately, taking another gulp of coffee while the other three laughed. Evan smiled to himself as Brian tossed an arm around Brock’s shoulders before pressing his face between his boyfriend’s neck and collarbone, chuckling all the while.

“You know, with all the Curse bullshit I’m glad something good happened,” Tyler said, gesturing to them, and Brock blushed a little.

“Me too,” he agreed fondly, and Brian planted a quick kiss on his cheek before turning his attention to whatever he was reading on his phone beforehand.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Evan asked timidly, and somehow the quiet request gained the full focus of both Brock and Tyler in a heartbeat.

“What’s up?” asked Brock, tilting his head in his direction.

“Uhm… I just…” Evan nervously cleared his throat, picking at the plastic lid on his iced coffee. “How… How do you _know_ you like someone?”

Even though he wasn’t looking directly at him, he could see the sly grin on Tyler’s face. “You like Jon. You’ve always said he’s hot.”

“But he _always_ talks _about_ Delirious,” Brock countered.

“Team Jevan,” Tyler said offhandedly around the lip of his beverage, and Evan groaned as he hung his head in his hands.

“Disowned,” Brian piped up, a playful look in his eyes as he used the hand not wrapped around Brock to point at Tyler. “Disowned from the family.”

“He can’t get laid by a guy who doesn’t show his face,” Tyler jabbed, lifting an eyebrow.

“Well… That’s a good point,” Brian surrendered, earning an elbow in the side from his boyfriend.

“Relationships aren’t all about sex,” Brock objected as Evan lifted his head up again.

“ _Weeeelllll…_ ” Brian giggled at Brock’s shocked expression, kissing him briefly on the lips before pulling him closer. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Of course they aren’t just about sex.”

“Thank you,” Brock smiled gently, looking over to Evan as if to assure him that were the truth.

“But it’s a plus,” Brian tacked on, making him go completely red while Tyler snickered and started messing about on his own phone.

“I don’t really care about that,” Evan admitted, rubbing condensation off his cup. “I just feel like I’m leading both of them on and it’s kinda… gross feeling.”

“You aren’t leading them on, Evan,” Brian stated, furrowing his eyebrows at his friend. “It’s just a weird situation. You’ll figure out what to do when the time’s right.”

“I hope so,” Evan mumbled dejectedly, wondering if _when the time’s right_ would come before or after he completely lost his mind over this whole thing.

 

 

**gays assnonymous**

ship captain: quick question who the FUCK

ship captain: PUT AN ENTIRE PIZZA

ship captain: IN MY LOCKER

twink: how do you fit a pizza in a locker???

ship captain: SIDEWAYS APPARENTLY

spooky sexy skeleton: tetris skillz

squad dad: i really don’t know why you’re asking

strippergram: yeah we only have one idiot who would do that

ship captain: you know what you right

ship captain: NOGLA WHAT THE FUCK

taytos: hello

ship captain: NO

ship captain: SHOVE THAT HELLO UP YOUR ASS WHY TF IS THERE A PIZZA IN MY LOCKER

taytos: oh!

taytos: i forgot about that

ship captain: ???????????

daddy: how do you forget where you put a whole pizza

fourtw3nty: this is nogla we’re talking about

asswrecker: anything’s possible with him

taytos: i ordered it for lunch but it’s against the rules or something so i had to hide it

squad mom: why in marcel’s locker?

taytos: it’s closest to the front of the school

angel bean: more importantly what kind of pizza is it

spooky sexy skeleton: bryce asks the real questions

taytos: extra cheesey :D

angel bean: niiiiiiiceeee

asswrecker: just like me ;)

angel bean: true

fourtw3nty: do we all get some

taytos: yes

daddy: niiiiiiiiceeeeeee

ship captain: NOT NICE

ship captain: IT SMELLS LIKE SAUCE AND GARLIC SALT

strippergram: it’s like an air freshener

ship captain: N O

fourtw3nty: he’s not wrong

daddy: some people would pay for pizza air freshener

spooky sexy skeleton: i would

ship captain: I WANT IT OUT OF HERE MOTHERFUCKER

twink: wait are you still there

ship captain: yes?????

taytos: bring it with you to the back courtyard, it’s lunch period rn

strippergram: FREE FOOOOOOOOOOD

squad dad: have i told you i love you daithi :’)

taytos: i love you too brian :D

taytos: but no homo that’s brock’s job

squad mom: i’ll let that slide this time

ship captain: I HATE YOU ALL

ship captain: EVERYTHING I OWN SMELLS LIKE DOMINOS

ship captain: AND NOW I HAVE TO DO NINJA SHIT TO GET THIS FUCKING THING TO THE COURTYARD WITHOUT THE TEACHERS SEEING IT

ship captain: AND ALL ANY OF YOU CARE ABOUT IS WHAT KIND OF FUCKING PIZZA IT IS

ship captain: I HOPE YOU GET DISEASES AND DIE

fourtw3nty: O.o

twink: how ever do we make it up to you

ship captain: YOU FUCKING CAN’T THIS HAS BROKEN ME AS A MAN

taytos: oh damn

ship captain: TRULY DESTROYED ME MIND AND SOUL

daddy: do you want an extra slice

ship captain: yeah

 

 

“You can do it, Mario!” Evan laughed, watching from behind the glass as Craig geared up to tackle the last trap of the course. Delirious— or Death, Evan should say— hovered around the button and laughed wickedly.

“Yeah MiniLadd, come on,” he taunted with Tyler and Scotty chuckling in the background.

“I got this, I got this, I got this…” Craig chanted, then he lunged forward. But he leapt back at the last second to get himself out of harm’s way. In vain, it would seem, because Delirious didn’t fall for it.

“What’re you waiting for? Do it Craig!” Anthony encouraged, swinging his crowbar aimlessly at the wall.

“Don’t rush me!” Craig screamed. He ran at the exact same time, launching himself across the danger zone. Delirious sprang the trap, and Craig was _almost there…_ “NOOOOOOOOO!!!”

A rocket shot out of the wall and flung his body across the map, the group erupting into fits of laughter. So loud that in the background they could hear someone’s mom telling them to shut up. “Awww man,” Tyler chuckled, sounding pretty delighted by the turn of events. “GG, Mini. GG.”

“That was awesome,” Scotty said, still giggling about what had happened.

“Alright, alright. I’m out. See you tomorrow bitches,” Anthony said before disconnecting. One by one they trickled out of Gmod and out of the Discord call, Evan being the last one to shut off his computer. He sighed, smiling to himself as he pushed back from his chair and moved to turn off the lights.

“You going to sleep?” his dad shouted from down the hallway as Evan flipped off the switch.

“Yeah,” he shouted back, peeking out from his room. “Love you, goodnight!”

“Love you,” his dad said in return, and Evan looked towards the illuminated room at the other side of the second floor affectionately before closing his door. He spilled himself into bed, limbs splayed out at random with his face smushed into the pillows.

_bzzt bzzt_

He lifted his head and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, looking at the caller ID. A smile tugged at his lips and he grabbed his earbuds, plugging them in and putting the one with the speaker attached to it in his ear before answering. “Hellooooo Delirious.”

“Helloooooo Evan.” Delirious laughed calmly on the other end. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Evan replied, slipping under the blankets. “Why’d you call?”

“No reason.” He could imagine the other boy shrugging. “I missed you.”

Evan sighed in mock annoyance, cautious to keep his voice down. “I talked to you five minutes ago.”

“Exactly! It’s been so long.” Both of them chuckled, and Evan rolled over on his side, placing the phone on the pillow beside him and closing his eyes.

“Are you gonna make me do that thing where we stay on the phone until we fall asleep again?” he asked, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to stay awake much longer.

“Maybe,” Delirious replied, and Evan snorted.

“That’s gay,” he informed him, making Delirious cackle in that signature way of his.

“Well  _you_ sent me a picture of your dick!” he protested, and Evan had to bite his bottom lip not to crack up.

“I never said that _wasn’t_ gay!” he whisper-yelled, smiling so big that his face hurt. “More than one thing can be gay you know!”

They both laughed for an unnecessarily long time, though underneath it Evan felt something pull in his chest. He wasn’t confused by it like he used to be whenever the sensation occurred. He was so used to feeling it whenever he talked to his best friend by now that he could describe what it was so precisely, with one word: Longing. Every smile, every chuckle, every happy moment he shared with Delirious just had him wishing…

“Ahhh, man… I love you,” Delirious said as he calmed down, a casual statement that both of them tossed at one another here and there. But this time it made the tugging in Evan’s heart even stronger and he held his breath, blinking in the darkness as he subconsciously wrapped his fingers in his duvet.

“I love you too, Delirious,” he replied almost sadly.

“Hey… Are you alright?” _I wish you were here._

“Yeah. I’m alright.” _I wish you were actually with me right now, I wish I could tell you I loved you to your face._

“You sure? You sound kinda… upset.” _I wish I could put my arm around you like Ryan does with Bryce. I wish I could hold your hand like Brian holds Brock’s when he’s driving me home after school._

“Just tired, I guess.” _I wish I could kiss you like I kissed Jon._

Delirious cleared his throat a bit. “I wish you were here, Evan.” And Evan had to literally bite his tongue, because there were suddenly tears in his eyes and he wasn’t exactly sure why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of this chapter was ??? a little more heartbreaking than i intended for it to be and i'm sorry


	13. so much worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for homophobia (not all the chapters are gonna keep being heavy, i promise!)
> 
> (i'd also like to give a reminder again that these are fictitious portrayals of people/fictitious characters and none of this is meant to actually be representative of the real life people the characters are based on.)
> 
> Members in this chat: twink (Craig/MiniLadd), squad mom (Brock/Moo), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), asswrecker (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), ship captain (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), fourtw3nty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), taytos (David/Daithi De Nogla), angel bean (Bryce/Bryce Games), hentai (Luke/Cartoonz)

**gays assnonymous**

twink: uhhhh hey guys

squad mom: yeah i know. i got it too.

strippergram: so did i

spooky sexy skeleton: same

asswrecker: i think we all got it

daddy: did you brian?

squad mom: he's in the shower but… yeah he did

ship captain: i can't believe someone would send those pictures to everyone who the fuck does that

fourtw3nty: and how did they get them ??

strippergram: i'm more mad about what they said with them. "get the flamer" are you fucking kidding me?

taytos: craig i think i know how they found them...

twink: i took those pictures during truth or dare... they were on my phone that got stolen

angel bean: oh god :/

hentai: wait what happened?

spooky sexy skeleton: someone sent texts to everybody in the school about terroriser

fourtw3nty: they added a bunch of homophobic bullshit and then the pictures from the out of town weekend

angel bean: the ones of him kissing brock…

hentai: they ain’t going after brock for it too?

squad mom: you can’t tell it’s me from the angle… but there’s no mistaking brian

daddy: do you think anyone will actually care?

asswrecker: you think they won’t???

angel bean: there’s a reason ryan and i can’t really do the whole pda thing

spooky sexy skeleton: um… so i’m at school already…

ship captain: is it bad

spooky sexy skeleton: i don’t want to say it’s bad

strippergram: but

spooky sexy skeleton: moo he’s at your house right

squad mom: yes

spooky sexy skeleton: you should stay home with him

twink: oh god. what’s happening?

taytos: it can’t be any worse than scotty faggotson can it

fourtw3nty: thanks for bringing that up nogla

taytos: sorry

spooky sexy skeleton: no it’s worse

spooky sexy skeleton: definitely worse

 

  
And it was worse. So. Much. Worse.

“How… How does someone print all these without someone noticing?” Evan managed to say, frozen in place as he looked around the ruthlessly chaotic corridor.

“I don’t think that they didn’t notice…” Craig mumbled, standing beside Evan and shrinking in on himself as someone else came in and instantly started barking with laughter. “I think… everyone was just okay with it.”

“How the fuck could people be alright with this bullshit?” Tyler growled, bending down and snatching up one of the many, _many_ papers littering the floor. In black and white ink was one of the pictures, Brian’s face blown up so that it was very obvious who he was. In the image his eyes were crinkling at the corners, his lips drawn up into a smile as he kissed who, to everyone else, was a mysterious boy. The fact that he looked so blissful in the moment the school was now immortalizing and mocking made Evan feel sick to his stomach. How could anyone humiliate someone for their happiness?

“Where’s your friend, Fong?” someone said, snapping him out of his trance. His eyes met those of two boys from his class, who were sneering at the very thought of Brian. “He off sucking dick somewhere?”

“Alright you shitbags, how about we _fuck off_ , how about that?” Tyler cut in, taking a step between them and making shooing motions at the dudes. Their grins fell away as the giant boy loomed over them, confusion finding its way onto their faces instead. Nobody ever wanted to be on the bad side of the popular Tyler Wine.

“Hey man, it’s just some joking around,” said one of the boys, clapping his buddy on the shoulder and gesturing for them to leave. “Come on, let’s go.”

There were dozens upon dozens of pictures around the hall, piled up on the flooring in such great numbers that it was hard to walk without stepping on them. Not that any of them could get anywhere without someone asking _where’s_ _Homo Hanby_ anyway… Thank god Brock had faked sick and convinced Brian to skip with him today like Delirious had suggested. Evan tuned everything out as he made his way to his locker with his head down, his heart beating so hard in his chest he was scared his ribs could break. He was on the verge of a full on panic attack by the time he got to his destination, and the only reason he didn’t launch into one was because of the person waiting there for him.

“Jon,” he breathed as his friend came over and wrapped his arms around him. Evan hugged him back without question, burying his face against the shorter boy’s shoulder and praying to wake up from whatever hellish nightmare this was. As he heard a commotion a little bit farther down the hallway he peeked up, still holding Jon in his arms because even though there weren’t pictures of _him_ littered around the baseboards he could feel himself shaking.

A couple feet away a few guys were shoving Ryan around like a ball in a game of catch, taking turns pushing him to one another and trying to rip his backpack from his shoulders. As if the thing with Brian had suddenly reminded the other students that homosexuality was something to attack, bringing the bullies who had harassed Ryan when he’d come out a year ago back at full force.

“Jonathan?” Evan said breathlessly as the two broke apart, watching helplessly as Bryce tried to free his boyfriend from the torment he was facing. He managed to push him out of the circle just as someone began chanting _smear the queer_ , and suddenly members of the football team were chasing Ryan as he bolted away. “I’m fucking scared, man.”

When Evan looked back at Jon he was holding a paper, one of the many around them, but he was paler than usual and Evan knew it wasn’t because of the picture itself. Gently he pulled it from his friend’s fingers, and he choked back the bitter taste in his throat as he saw what was scrawled across the page in thick red marker.

_HANG THE FAGS_

 

 

“I hate this stupid town. I hate the stupid people in it.” Ryan kicked a rock off the ledge, watching it spiral off the short cliff down into the water. Leaving school two periods in and going to the beach instead probably wasn’t the most ideal way of handling the situation, but after hearing homophobic slurs all morning (and getting physically assaulted, in the case of Ryan, Bryce, and even Scotty) it was the only solution they had.

"I just… can’t wrap my mind around the fact that today was real,” said David quietly, sitting on a rock and spinning his ring around on his finger. “I think I’m in shock or something.”

“And _I’m_ in pain,” Scotty said irritably, holding a bag of ice cubes wrapped in a dish towel (courtesy of Luke) to his eye.

“Is it getting any better?” Marcel asked, sat beside him and regarding him worriedly. Scotty sighed, removing the makeshift ice pack from his face to show him. His eye wasn’t as swollen as it had been half an hour ago, but it was purple and yellow and would be hard to explain to his parents.

“Has anyone told Terroriser yet?” Luke asked, sitting in the open trunk of his car and lifting an eyebrow at his younger friends. They all collectively muttered that they hadn’t.

“You don’t have to.” Evan’s breath caught as his eyes flew up to where he’d heard the voice, noticing for the first time that Brian was _here_. He was standing at the edge of the little circle they’d formed, a tired look to him that Evan didn’t think he’d seen from the energetic Irish boy before. Brock was at his side of course, zeroing in on Scotty and walking over to him to ask what had happened.

“Someone tell you already?” asked Craig, wringing his hands in his lap as Suni rubbed his back to comfort him. Brian shook his head and pulled a folded paper out of his pocket before holding it up for display.

“I went home to get some blankets— You know, since I thought Brock was ill— and there were a ton of these shoved in my post box.” The group watched on as he unfolded the little square, already well aware what was printed upon it. But to their surprise he grinned at it before wadding it into a ball, tossing it off the side of the cliff and into the ocean.

“You’re not upset?” Marcel asked with confusion, and Brian drew his shoulders up by his ears, giving an uncertain hum.

“Well… I’m okay,” he said, simply brushing it off with a gentle exhale. “I used to be scared of what people would think but I guess I just don’t give a shit what they’re gonna say anymore. I don’t care about _their_ opinions.”

Evan and Tyler shared a look as Brian took a seat on the opened tailgate beside Luke, exchanging silent words. “That’s good and all but they were literally beating the shit out of people today. Just look at Ohm, Bryce or Scotty,” Tyler ventured, gesturing to them each in turn. Brian did just so, his face falling as Ryan for once let them see his, which featured a split lip and bruised nose and cheek.

“But… they were spreading shit about me. Why did they go after you?” Brian said quietly.

“It’s not _you_ they hate, it’s _anyone_ gay or who they think could be gay,” Scotty replied as Brock finally stopped mothering over him, instead sitting himself in Brian’s lap and listening to the conversation.

“It’s gonna be a rough couple days for everyone from here out, boys,” David said heavily, tossing an arm over both Tyler and Jon in a brotherly gesture.

“We’ll get through it though,” Tyler stated, doing the same as his eyes swept the group. “These fucks don’t got anything on us anyway.”

Their eyes all snapped back to Brian and Brock as they heard the latter let out a shout, smirking as they pieced together what happened. Brian had tried to push him off his lap onto the ground (pranking his boyfriend was something he liked to do), but Brock must have held onto him because they were _both_ on the ground in a laughing heap. As David finally lost it and began chuckling so did a couple of the other boys, with Craig, as always, going to take a picture. When Brian noticed he pulled Brock on top of himself, dragging him into a kiss and flipping off the camera.

Hell inevitably broke loose the next day at school, but Brian didn’t seem fazed by it. When Evan asked what his secret to being so strong against it all was, he told him that he had that picture as the homescreen on his phone, and every time he felt overwhelmed he’d just look at it and he’d smile. Somehow, after hearing that, Evan ended up feeling better too.


	14. perfect (daithi de nogla cover)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: ship captain (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), twink (Craig/MiniLadd), squad mom (Brock/Moo), strippergram (Tyler/Wildcat), taytos (David/Daithi De Nogla), fourtw3nty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), daddy (Evan/Vanoss), squad dad (Brian/Terroriser), spooky sexy skeleton (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), asswrecker (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), nice list prince (Bryce/Bryce Games)

delirious: hey you

evan: yes hello

evan: me what

delirious: you look cute today :p

evan: i hate when you do that

delirious: do what

evan: remind me that you’re so close to me but i don’t know who you are

delirious: you do know who i ammm

evan: you know what i mean though

delirious: yeah

evan: come sit with us? please???? just once?

delirious: i can’t

evan: why?

evan: why do you hide from us i just don’t get it

delirious: it’s hard to explain

evan: can you try? for me?

delirious: for you…

delirious: my whole life people always get tired of me

delirious: or they get annoyed by me

delirious: and the people i thought cared about me leave me behind

delirious: if you guys left me behind i’d be broken

evan: del…

evan: that would never happen

evan: ever

delirious: everyone always says that

delirious: toonz is the only person who meant it

evan: delirious you’re my best friend

evan: and i love you

evan: i mean it. i definitely mean it.

delirious: i know you do…

delirious: maybe one day i’ll convince myself to believe it.

evan: i guess that’s better than nothing

delirious: i love you too btw

evan: gay :p

delirious: good

evan: so why do i look cuter today than usual

delirious: hmmm i think it’s that jacket

delirious: you should wear more red

evan: noted

delirious: also tell terroriser and moo that they’re goals

evan: that could be us but you’re a ghost :p

delirious: maybe one day xD

evan: yeah

evan: maybe one day

\--

evan: hey del

delirious: yeah

evan: i really do love you

delirious: i love you too

evan: i mean it

delirious: i know

 

 

“ _I found a love… for me…_ ” Evan moved his head to the song, watching David strum his guitar as he belted the words into the night with practiced control. The gang was gathered in Craig’s back yard with a fire blazing in the pit, chatting and lounging around and generally just enjoying themselves. This was something they’d started once a week as December had rolled around, a way to relax and work off all the tensions from school. Though they’d all been handling it well considering, the rampant homophobia hadn’t died down at all since the Brian incident and sometimes it was still too much.

The weekly gatherings had been Jon’s idea originally, something he thought of after some problems between Ryan and Bryce had sprung up from them being unable to actually act like a couple out of fear. He’d said (well, written) that they should have a time every once in a while where they could all just feel safe to do whatever they wanted. Everyone was grateful for it, primarily because they were quietly certain that Jon had saved their friends’ relationship. But they were also grateful to have the safe space, especially at the end of weeks like this past one… Nobody had been attacked but there were some cruel words now carved into the front of Brian’s locker, and Delirious had been highly stressed out for reasons he wouldn’t reveal to anyone. (Which, in turn, had Evan pretty stressed out.)

“ _But darling just kiss… me… slow… Your heart is all… I… own…_ ” Barefoot near the cooler, Brian and Brock were dancing about with the flames reflecting in their eyes. Evan smiled fondly as he took a drink of his lemonade, gazing on as Brock did a twirl beneath Brian’s hand. “ _Baby I’m… dancin’ in the dark… with you between my arms…_ ”

“What’re you thinking about, Evan?” He turned his head towards Tyler as he sat down beside him on the ground with a plate of food. Evan took a chip from him and bit it in half, shrugging.

“All kinds of stuff,” he said, his attention shifting from the squad parents to Craig and Suni as they too danced to David’s singing. Suni had her head on his chest and her arms wrapped around him as he grinned against her hair, holding her close. “What’re _you_ thinking about?”

Tyler snickered, lifting a hand in the direction of the pair. “How lucky she is. What else?”

“ _I found a love… to carry more than just my secrets…_ ” Across the way Evan could feel a set of eyes on him, and he didn’t need to check to know that the gaze belonged to Jon. Part of him wanted to go over to the senior and ask him to come out on the dancefloor (or the lawn in this case), but the other part of him had different plans. He got to his feet, offering a hand down to a confused Tyler.

“Wanna dance with me?” Evan asked, and his friend smiled with a love he didn’t outwardly display too often. As he got up they took a few steps closer to the couples, standing nearby Ryan and Bryce. Though they didn’t get all close like the others they took each other’s hands and began swaying to David’s voice.

“ _We are still kids but we’re so… in love…_ ”

“So how’s the whole Delirious and Jon thing?” Tyler asked, fixing Evan with a concerned look. He sighed in response, shaking his head and giving his friend’s hand a squeeze.

“Can we not talk about that?” he requested, hoping that he’d be able to drop it. But would he truly be their Wildcat if he did?

“You never talk about it and you need to.” They looked over as they heard Brian laughing loudly to see Brock had swung him into a dip, smiling so brightly that he outshone the fire.

“I… wish I weren’t in love with my best friend,” Evan confessed in a hushed tone, looking down at their feet as he felt his face heat up. It terrified him to say it, that he was in love with Delirious, especially because he knew it was insane. He’d never seen him, he didn’t even know his actual name, and yet… Well, Evan _knew_ him better than he knew himself. As much as he liked Jon and wanted to be around Jon, it wasn’t the same thing… which hurt. Because he wanted it to be.

He looked up to catch Tyler glancing towards Craig for only a second, turning his head away just as quickly. “Me too.”

“ _I see my future in… your eyes…_ ” Beside them Bryce had his arms looped around Ryan’s neck and they had their foreheads pressed together, just stepping from side to side at a slow pace. Craig and Suni were in their own world, Brian and Brock were laughing and falling even harder for one another as every second passed, even Scotty and Marcel were piled up together on the grass as they pointed out stars to one another. _Maybe_ the last one was a different kind of love than the first three, but it still made Evan’s heart ache. He laughed quietly as he looked back at Tyler.

“We’re a fucking mess,” he said, and Tyler snickered as he nodded in agreement.

“Completely.” He twirled his shorter friend like Brian had done to Brock earlier, making Evan chuckle.

“ _I don’t deserve this… darling, you look perfect… tonight…_ ” Luke and Jon were sitting in chairs by David now, listening intently to his cover while the rest of the group were all paired off. Evan’s eyes lingered on Jon for a few seconds too long, and as they made eye contact Jon lifted his hand in an adorable little wave. _Why can’t I just fall in love with him instead?_ Evan thought as Tyler spun him around again. He supposed it was because Jon never actually spoke, but… Delirious never showed his face. Once more he wished he could combine them into one person, they were almost like one incomplete individual on their own anyways. Jon was voiceless where Delirious never shut up, Delirious was faceless where Jon was ridiculously hot, and Evan cared about them both so much…

“ _Barefoot on the grass… listening to our favorite song…_ ” Silently both Evan and Tyler decided to call it quits on dancing, sitting back in their place on the lawn. While Tyler started munching on his collection of snacks Evan laid his head in his lap. He didn’t seem to care.

“It’s almost Christmas,” Tyler said out of nowhere, watching the crew as he spoke.

“Uh… Yeah,” Evan replied, furrowing his eyebrows as his friend smiled softly.

“I kinda like Christmas,” he stated before taking a bite out of a cookie. Although he had several questions Evan didn’t ask them. Instead he rolled onto his side and began watching everyone else as well, that fluttery, happy feeling returning to his chest as he watched Brock kiss Brian on the cheek sweetly, so full of endearment that it radiated. Things may have been a wreck but one thing that Evan could never say was that he didn’t believe in love. That would be impossible when he saw it in such a powerful way every time he was around his friends.

“ _I have faith in what I see…_ ” Snuggled against Tyler’s thigh, Evan lifted his phone and got the whole scene into frame; David playing the strings with Luke and Jon watching on, Bryce and Ryan with tenderness in their eyes, Scotty and Marcel tracing constellations that didn’t exist with their fingertips, Brian and Brock with their hearts on their sleeves. Even Craig and his girlfriend, laughing to a joke neither had told. _This… This is perfect_ , he thought as he snapped the photo and Tyler reached down to ruffle his hair. Damn… he was lucky to have these guys.

“ _You look perfect tonight…_ ”

 

 

**gays assnonymous**

_ship captain changed the chat name to time to get fuckin festive_

twink: does this make you santa

ship captain: YES

_marcel changed their name to black santa_

black santa: and as a gift you all get nEW NAMES

squad mom: exciting

strippergram: damn, i kinda like mine

_black santa changed tyler's name to naughty list bitch_

naughty list bitch: i like this one too

taytos: are they all christmas themed

_black santa changed david's name to jingleballs_

black santa: yes

fourtw3nty: come on marcel hit me with one

_black santa changed scotty's name to santa’s little slut_

daddy: what are you trying to say there marcel

naughty list bitch: yeah marcel what’s that mean

black santa: it means what it says you illiterate fucks

squad dad: uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

santa’s little slut: well this is special

spooky sexy skeleton: o.o

_black santa changed delirious’s name to candycane licker_

candycane licker: THIS IS HOMOPHOBIC

asswrecker: did you just try to pull the gay card

daddy: in this chat

twink: did you really

candycane licker: i see my mistake

_black santa changed craig's name to suni’s stocking stuffer_

_black santa changed ryan's name to 10” north pole_

_black santa changed bryce’s name to nice list prince_

_black santa changed evan's name to gingerbrevan_

_black santa changed luke's name to papa snow_

_black santa changed brian’s name to rudolph_

_black santa changed brock’s name to clarice_

suni’s stocking stuffer: ABSOLUTELY NOT

black santa: u rite too far

_black santa changed craig’s name to stocking stuffer_

nice list prince: mine are always so tame

10” north pole: that’s because you’re a baby who needs to be sheltered

nice list prince: MEANWHILE YOURS

clarice: brian ours are so cute

rudolph: you’re so fuckin gay <3

naughty list bitch: so what with the sudden festiveness

black santa: we’re doing secret santa

black santa: settin it up tomorrow

candycane licker: including me???

black santa: yep

black santa: someone’ll text you who your person is

jingleballs: I’M SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMASSSSSS

stocking stuffer: woah there nogla calm down

jingleballs: i’m excited for christmas

gingerbrevan: i think we figured that out

clarice: i’m also bringing cookies tomorrow

santa’s little slut: brock i love you i love you so much

clarice: i know sugar is the way to your hearts

rudolph: that’s how he got me he just fed me lots of candy

naughty list bitch: was it candy or something else ;))

10” north pole: something like my name

rudolph: -.-

jingleballs: ryan?

nice list prince: nogla no

jingleballs: wait

jingleballs: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jingleballs: IT TOOK ME A SECOND BUT I GET IT NOW HHAHAH

clarice: maybe…

clarice: maybe no sugar for nogla


	15. christmas shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: santa's little slut (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), clarice (Brock/Moo), gingerbrevan (Evan/Vanoss), stocking stuffer (Craig/MiniLadd), rudolph (Brian/Terroriser), jingleballs (David/Daithi De Nogla), 10" north pole (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), black santa (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), papa snow (Luke/Cartoonz), naughty list bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), candycane licker (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), nice list prince (Bryce/Bryce Games)

“I’m not getting any inspiration,” Evan graoned as he and Brock did their second loop around the mall, nibbling on some soft pretzels he’d bought from the food court. Brock let out a sigh, stealing one of the little dough bites and glancing around at the rows of stores lining either side of the complex.

“Me neither,” he confessed, furrowing his brow and popping the rest of the pretzel in his mouth before shoving his hands in the pocket of his Batman hoodie. “I’m still trying to figure out what to get a few people _outside_ of Secret Santa.”

Christmas was only three days away, they were doing Secret Santa tomorrow, and as per usual everyone had put shopping off until last minute. While Evan had gifts for most of his friends, just like Brock there were a couple that he hadn’t decided on yet. For example, he _thought_ he was going to get David the boxset of some anime he kept talking about, but he also could get him the Pokemon plushie he pointed out every time they hung out at this mall. And then there was the even more difficult case of Delirious. It was quite the opposite problem with him though, because it wasn’t that Evan couldn’t decide what to get him, it was that he couldn’t decide what _not_ to get him. He had already bought several separate gifts for him and he was wondering where exactly he crossed the line into going too far with it. It was… Well it was pathetic really, that’s what it was.

“What’d you decide to get Brian?” Evan asked his friend as they dipped into yet another shop at random. He was fishing for ideas of what he himself should get Brian as he was the person he was Secret Santa to, but he hoped Brock wouldn’t pick up on that.

“Oh, I got him a new headset. He broke his and he’s been pretty bummed about it, so.” They started looking over the shelves, Evan sifting through sweaters just to see what there was.

“Wasn’t that like… expensive?” he asked, rubbing the material of a particularly Christmasy looking jumper. Disappointingly it wasn’t as comfy-feeling as it looked.

“Well… A little. But I love him.” Evan glanced over his shoulder at Brock, lifting an eyebrow that made his friend chuckle. “He’s kind of annoying sometimes but I do, I do love him.”

With a quiet laugh Evan continued looking through clothes, debating on if Tyler would actually wear the _Pigclaus_ sweater if he bought it for him. “You two are cute.”

“I know.” Brock came back over to him, nudging his shoulder with a smile. “So what’d you get Jon? I’ve been trying to come up with ideas for him for a month.”

Deciding that he could come back for the pig jumper later on if he wanted to, Evan motioned for them to leave the store, his steps aligning with Brock’s. “I got him a new jacket since he always wears that blue one. It’s pretty much the same thing, just a little warmer.”

Brock hummed, nodding his head as something must have caught his eye because he started gravitating towards one of the shops. “Isn’t it sort of weird that he and Delirious both have a thing for the color blue?” he tossed out, a question that for some reason made Evan’s heart jump. Maybe it was just the fact that there was yet another comparison to be made between the two boys he found himself falling for.

“I…” He frowned, ducking his head and pretending to be interested in the novelty shot glasses on display near the front of the store. “I guess it is…”

 

 

**time to get fuckin festive**

santa’s little slut: i just got my last present for you guys :D

clarice: haha evan and i just left the mall

gingerbrevan: glad to know we weren’t the only ones who put it off

stocking stuffer: am i the only one?? who didn’t???

rudolph: pretty much

jingleballs: nooo i’ve had presents for all of you since november :(

10” north pole: that may be the most precious thing you’ve ever said

black santa: tomorrow’s gonna be dope

stocking stuffer: #lit

black santa: no

papa snow: i got food covered but if any of yall wanna bring drinks that’d be cool

naughty list bitch: i’m gonna bathe myself in eggnog under the tree

papa snow: not in my apartment. do that on your own time.

naughty list bitch: what about in the doorway instead of under the tree

papa snow: hmmm no

naughty list bitch: doorstep

papa snow: deal

candycane licker: i love compromise

nice list prince: do we have to give regular presents tomorrow too

santa’s little slut: yep

nice list prince: o.o

black santa: you don’t have to but i think most of us are

nice list prince: oh okay good

gingerbrevan: why? what’d you get ohm?

_nice list prince left the chat_

candycane licker: HAHAHAH

10” north pole: i’m suddenly very excited :)

gingerbrevan: i don’t want to know what you two do i really don’t

jingleballs: i do ;)

clarice: this is supposed to be a sIN FREE HOLIDAY CHILDREN

rudolph: ummmm whoops

rudolph: you might not like my present for you then

naughty list bitch: OHHHH MOMMY AND DADDY BE KINKY

clarice: oh my gosh brian don’t say stuff like that in front of them

santa’s little slut: mom’s getting LAID for christmas ;DD

clarice: S C OTTY NO

candycane licker: what’d you get, terroriser?

clarice: brian dooooon’t

rudolph: well baby do you remember those fuzzy handcuffs you said you liked? :)

_clarice left the chat_

gingerbrevan: DID YOU ACTUALLY GET BROCK HANDCUFFS

rudolph: that's for me to know and for you to find out

naughty list bitch: i definitely am not going to let him live that down

stocking stuffer: i feel dirty talking about our mother this way

black santa: that’s the holiday spirit

santa’s little slut: it really isn’t marcel

black santa: it is because i say it is shut the fuck up

candycane licker: vanoss should i get you handcuffs

jingeballs: DE L i just spit my drink evERYWHERE

gingerbrevan: awww do you mean you didn’t already :(

rudolph: can you two just fuck? or like get married?

_candycane licker is typing…_

_gingerbrevan is typing…_

10” north pole: i’ll be the flower girl

candycane licker: maybe we will

gingerbrevan: we will

naughty list bitch: JINX

stocking stuffer: YOU OWE EACH OTHER A DICK UP THE ASS

gingerbrevan: k

candycane licker: k

 

 

evan: wanna come to my house so i can give you your gifts?

delirious: evannn

evan: there would be hot chocolate and cookies involved

delirious: evvvaaannnnnnnn

evan: alrighttttt alright it was worth a shot

evan: fr how do i give you things then

delirious: ummm i was gonna give yours to luke to give you guys so you can do that

evan: fineee

evan: i was hoping to give them to you in person though

delirious: why? were you going to kiss me under the mistletoe?

evan: maybe

delirious: wait

delirious: seriously?

delirious: were you going to do that?

evan: i’m not saying i was

evan: but i will say i have a mistletoe branch

delirious: you could use it on jon :p

evan: about that

evan: i hate you for putting me in this jon vs del situation

delirious: you did that not meeee

evan: no???? it was you???

evan: you had to tell me you had a crush on me after jon came into the picture????

delirious: maybe i was jealous ;p

evan: no you weren’t you’re just an asshole

delirious: but i looooooveee you

evan: yeah

delirious: …

evan: …

delirious: …

evan: …

delirious: …

evan: why are you so needy

delirious: :)

evan: fuck you

evan: i love you

delirious: yeayyyyy <3

evan: if you won’t come over can we at least play something just me and you

delirious: sure

delirious: but can we call instead of using discord

delirious: i don’t want a random nogla to pop in like last time

evan: true true

evan: i’ll call you in 5 :)

delirious: wait vanoss

evan: what

delirious: you don’t need mistletoe to make me kiss you btw

delirious: when we do meet in person

evan: o.o

delirious: since when did you use that face

evan: idk

evan: picked it up from bryce

evan: but i definitely will remember that :)


	16. candycane licker

“Come on asshole, you’re already late!” Tyler shouted as he threw open the door, ushering Evan inside. He hurried in with a bag full of gifts, turning the corner into the main room of Luke’s apartment where all his friends were sat around in chairs or scattered on the floor.

“There he is!” bellowed Marcel happily, decked out in full Saint Nick attire with a fake white beard included. Evan would have laughed if his attention weren’t so quickly stolen by the person sitting beside their Santa. With red and white striped stockings, fitted green shorts and a sweater cropped above his stomach, Jon was lounging casually in the corner of the sofa. As if he _weren’t_ the reason Evan was now standing in the hallway with his mouth hanging open. Rolling his eyes, Tyler reached over and pushed Evan’s jaw up to close it before patting him on the back and gesturing for him to come sit down.

Hoping he wasn’t blushing too much, he quickly plopped down on the ground beside Scotty before shrugging his bag off his shoulder and placing it behind them. “Finally! Can we start now?” piped up Craig impatiently, wiggling on the pillow he was sat on as Suni chuckled beside him.

“Can you calm the fuck down?” Tyler said, snatching the elf hat off of his head as he sat down on Suni’s other side. She laughed harder as Craig tossed his friend an offended look, she and Tyler turning to high five one another at the same time before Tyler offered her the hat.

“Alright!” Everyone drew their attention to Marcel. He was standing in the middle of the makeshift circle with his arms held out to either side of him. “We’re gonna go in order of age from youngest to oldest—”

“Rigged!” Luke interjected, a wave of laughter rippling through the group. Marcel snapped his fingers and pointed at him as if issuing a warning before returning to his announcement.

“Youngest to oldest! Which means Ms. Suni is first.” He gestured to the girl in question, dragging her focus away from Tyler and Craig as she stared over at him with big brown eyes. After she processed what was going on she stuck her tongue out, sitting up straight.

“Oh boy,” she said, turning her head to the side as someone tapped on her shoulder. Evan felt himself smiling as Tyler shyly pulled a little box out from behind his back, holding it out to her.

“Merry Christmas bitch,” he said as she took it, and she scoffed, Craig grinning brightly in the background the whole time.

“Thanks hoe,” she replied affectionately as she pulled off the lid. What she lifted out of the box was a capture card, the same one she kept rambling about at lunchtime, and her eyes went wide. “Wait, Tyler!”

He laughed, accepting the hug that she tackled him into. “Combined gift from me and your boy, okay? That shit’s pricey.”

She nodded as she got off of him, turning to give Craig the same treatment. “Thank you guys so much!”

“Brock, what are you doing?” The shrill noise came from Brian, who had stiffened up because of the cookie his boyfriend had somehow dropped directly on top of his head. Brock smiled sheepishly as he grabbed it and sat down, brushing the crumbs from Brian’s hair.

“Sorry,” he said while Scotty stealthily stole another one of the treats from the plate the older boy had brought over. “You could really say this…”

They all knew what was coming if that smirk on his face had anything to say about it, and Brian’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t—”

“...got out of hand.” A collective groan went up in the room, broken only by the sound of Brock’s distinctive chuckling.

“Why the fuck am I with you?” Brian sighed, hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. Evan giggled behind his hand, focus drifting from them to the boy draped across the sofa. That damn smile filled with laughter that nobody could hear graced his face and the way he so obviously had that toned stomach of his on display was downright sinful. Even worse than that, he had a candy cane in hand that he would every so often slip between his too-pink lips. Staying true to his group chat name, Evan thought somewhere in his head as he shifted around in place. He was suddenly uncomfortably warm and felt a dire need to jump into a frozen lake.

“Who’s got Bryce?” Tyler chimed, reeling them all back in. Marcel hopped in place, producing a puffy gift wrap ball from his ass or something and tossing it at the kid. He just barely caught it, a startled look in his eyes.

“Black Santa himself! So you know it’s the best present out there baby,” Marcel said enthusiastically, and Bryce peeled the paper off the lumpy gift with a chuckle. Evan tried, tried _so_ hard to watch and not get sidetracked. But how the hell was he supposed to succeed in that when Jon was licking along the shaft of the candy poised in his fingertips, and _fucking watching Evan while doing it?_ He swallowed, pulling off his token red jacket.

“Is this a blue Yoshi?” Bryce said with joy, his eyes lighting up along with his smile as he hugged the plushie to his chest and looked towards Marcel. The older boy nodded, ruffling his ginger hair.

“You’re welcome, young grasshopper. Mini! You’re next!” Marcel shouted, spinning around as Bryce snuggled his new buddy and showed it off to Ryan. Brian proceeded to smush a cookie into his boyfriend’s mouth before standing up, dusting remnants off his sweater before picking up a shiny silver bag and handing it over to Craig. He grinned sweetly, more relaxed than the boys had seen him in a while.

“It’s not much but… here you go mate,” he said, earning a confused look as the boy pulled out the green tissue paper and examined the contents of the bag. A smile took up his face at once as he dumped several bags of candies onto the floor, picking one up.

“How did you _get_ these?” Craig asked in disbelief, memories flashing behind his eyes as he looked at the sweets. Evan could only assume they were UK-exclusive with how unfamiliar they looked, which would make sense considering where both Craig and Brian were from.

“Had me cousin send some over,” Brian stated, plopping himself back down in Brock’s lap. “To be honest I was worried they’d melt.”

“They might have,” Craig said as he felt a couple packets, “but they’re still good. Thank you!”

“We may have eaten some of it when it got here,” Brock confessed, looping his arms around the sandy-haired Irish boy. “His mom insisted I had to try it.”

Craig chuckled, but nodded in their direction. “I’m glad she did.”

“Okay are we done?” Suni jumped in, her boyfriend blinking once in surprise. She giggled, gently patting his face before pecking him on the lips. “Sorry, I’m really excited to get to Tyler.”

“Wait, do you have me?” Tyler asked incredulously, but even as he took the parcel she pushed towards him Evan was in a different world. One that involved long fingers currently wrapped around the candy cane pressed to red, sugar-slicked lips. One that followed the knowing wink Jon sent his way and had him kneading the pillow he'd placed in his lap to calm his nerves.

He wasn’t even sure what it was Suni got for Tyler, because by the time he managed to pull himself back from staring at the boy across from him they had moved on.

“Okay Nogla, come here,” Brock cut through voices. David raised an eyebrow at him and received a chuckle in return. “I can’t go to you.”

“Oh! I’m next,” David said, causing everyone else to laugh as he leaned across the middle space and reached out a hand. With a roll of his eyes Brock dropped something in his palm, though Evan’s eyes were firmly tied to the floor in front of him to avoid looking across the way at Jon again. “Woah. You remembered what kind of guitar picks I use?”

“I remember everything about you guys,” Brock replied, a chorus of _aww_ going through the room.

“Does that include my dick size?” Tyler asked bluntly. As Evan stole a glance over towards Brock he couldn’t help but laugh at the grimace on his face.

“Unfortunately,” he mumbled against Brian’s shoulder.

“Next one is Evan isn’t it?” asked Luke, reaching for something to focus on aside from the sickeningly adorable couples to either side of him. Evan chuckled softly as he watched Bryce laugh with his eyes crinkling at the corners before resting his forehead against Ryan’s, and as Brian looked behind him and pressed a gentle kiss to Brock’s lips.

“Hey.” He turned his head back to the circle and nearly jumped. He somehow hadn’t noticed Jon creep over to him, and now the boy was sitting directly in front of him with the lights on the Christmas tree reflecting in his already bright blue eyes. It took Evan much longer than it should have to process that he had a box in his hands, and even longer than that to realize that made Jon his Secret Santa.

“Oh! Oh.” He grinned through his embarrassment, taking the box and placing it in his lap on top of his strategically placed pillow. Although his heart was beating too loudly for him to notice, the group was actually quiet for once, watching on as he lifted off the lid. Inside was a neatly folded shirt that was _very_ familiar. Evan couldn’t help but laugh as he picked it up, surprised that Jon had somehow found the _exact_ same one… “Is this a replacement for the shirt that got ruined by Tyler’s ice skate?”

Jon smiled and nodded his head. He plucked the card resting inside the box up and held it out, something that only made Evan laugh more.

**_Thanks for getting slammed into the guardrail so I didn’t have to. I owe you one! - Jonathan_**

“Anytime,” he said as he looked back up at Jon, his breath catching in his throat as he did so. Jon was glancing up at something above them in wonder, the way shadows seemed to gather beneath his cheekbones and jaw making him look so strikingly beautiful… Evan managed to convince himself to see what had captured his attention, and goddamn, he’d never been so grateful for Scotty in his life.

“Mistletoe!” Craig clapped his hands together once as their buddy held the little branch above the pair’s heads. “You know what—”

But Evan was five steps ahead of him. He pushed the box out of the way before pulling Jon into his lap, crashing their lips together and kissing him for all he was worth, eliciting a soft gasp of surprise from him that shot straight through Evan. The boys (and Suni) hooted and cheered until they eventually broke apart, breathless and hot all over.

“Wow. Well I'm aroused,” Tyler stated as he dramatically fanned himself with his hand.

“Shut up,” Evan breathed as Jon clambered off of him and sat beside him instead.

“And with that, Brian!” Scotty snapped his fingers and directed the guns that followed in the boy’s direction. “You’re up baby.”

“Oh, that’s me.” Evan was grateful to have something else to put his attention into. He reached behind him and grabbed the bag designated for the Irish lad, tossing it across the circle for Brian to catch. He kept laser focus on him as he pulled out the item wrapped up in unnecessarily thick layers of paper, his face falling as he realized what was going on.

“Aw, fuck off Evan,” Brian said with a deep sigh while everyone laughed at his misfortune of having one of the pranksters of the group as his Secret Santa. Evan laughed himself, decidedly ignoring the hand Jon was subtly rubbing along his lower back. After a minute or so of tearing at the gift wrap Brian finally unveiled what Evan had gotten for him, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth as he turned the plastic card over in his hands. “This is for that tech repair place on Main, right?”

“Yeah,” Evan confirmed.

“Brock told you I broke my headset, didn’t he?” Brock giggled from beneath him to answer that question. Brian rolled his eyes, reaching back and jabbing his fingers into his boyfriend’s sides before turning and kissing him on the cheek. He mouthed a thank you to Evan, but he didn’t notice because Jon had successfully put him in a daze by tugging ever so lightly and subtly on one of his belt loops.

“Back to you, Scott,” Brian smirked, though Scotty barely had to look for who his gift giver would be before Craig had plopped something down in his lap. Evan bit his bottom lip as they exchanged whatever gift Craig had got and debated turning and slapping that smug little look off Jon’s face as he felt his fingers slip beneath the hem of his shirt. That, or turning and attacking his lips again.

“Santa! C’mere,” Luke shouted, and Marcel chuckled before kneeling by him. The older boy offered something that Evan couldn’t quite see in the palm of his hand, though whatever it was, it had Marcel laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes.

“Let ‘er rip!” David exclaimed. Next they knew Marcel had set a singular Beyblade loose on the floor. It spun around like a tiny hurricane that only came to a stop when it collided with Tyler’s giant cup of eggnog and lost.

“Also, here,” Luke said, holding a Gamestop card out to Marcel. “So you can get the new COD with the rest of us when it comes out.”

“Still gonna beat your ass in it,” Scotty quipped, letting out a yelp and tossing his hands up to defend himself as Marcel walked over to hit him over the head. Evan snorted but was quickly distracted by Jon stretching his arms over his head, lifting the cropped sweater even higher and revealing more of his surprisingly lean torso. He _had_ to know, Evan thought as he struggled to keep himself from drooling. He _had_ to know what he was doing.

“You’re next, babe,” Brian said to Brock, and he nodded, eyes floating towards Bryce as the freshman started pushing a bag across the hardwood towards him. Smiling at the goofy redhead Brian plucked up the bag and helped bring it closer, Brock taking it from there.

“Thank you Bryce,” he said before he even knew what it was, undoing the ribbon tying the handles together. It turned out to be a moose hat with little plush antlers, not that Evan would know, because Evan was too busy having a staring contest with Jon.

“You two aren’t slick,” Craig leaned over to inform him, and Evan rolled his eyes, pressing a hand over his friend’s face and pushing him away as he looked anywhere else but into blue eyes.

“Jonathan, stop ogling our big buff cheeto puff,” Marcel sing-songed, effectively taking Jon’s attention off of Evan. Who cleared his throat as he felt a blush spread from his neck to ears.

“I didn’t have any wrapping but here you go,” said David, standing up to bring what looked like a beginner stationary set over. Evan and the others watched on as Jon took it, tilting his head at their eccentric Irish friend. “Well you always write notes and don’t really talk, so I thought these would make it more fun.”

Although nobody would admit it, it was actually a pretty thoughtful gift. Evan watched on with— Oh for fuck's sake, was that _jealousy_ he was feeling? Because Jon hugged _Nogla_? Genuinely one of the only straight friends they had? He groaned to himself, rubbing a hand over his face as Jon sat back down and looked through his new writing materials with interest.

“Ohm’s turn,” Scotty chirped excitedly, scrambling up to his feet and bringing a poorly covered object to the upperclassman. The wrapping job was terrible and just so classically Scotty that Ryan had to smile, tearing it open almost by accident as he held it in his hands.

“Is this that stupid dirty jokes book I kept laughing about last time we went out?” he said as he glimpsed the exposed part of the gift, and Scotty laughed while nodding his head.

“It comes with the condition that you don’t let Brock get ahold of it,” he said, and Brock pretended to be offended.

“What are you talking about? I’m pure as they come,” he teased. They all watched as Brian just laughed.

“Alright. Well Delirious had me,” Luke said, taking a drink of whatever he’d poured himself. “He bought me The Sims, which I’ve wasted way too much time on.”

“And I had Del, so I’ll give this to you,” said Ryan, passing an envelope over to Luke with his free arm as the other fell around Bryce.

“I still want to know what it was you got Ohm,” said David, pointing towards the boy. Bryce adamantly shook his head.

“No, you don’t, I—”

“Let’s just say vanilla lube is my new favorite kind,” said Ryan, tightening his grip around his boyfriend when he tried to run away.

“No way man, strawberry,” Brian got out before Brock shoved him out of his lap and onto the floor, the prior of them laughing while the other swatted at him and told him off.

“Cherry.” Evan looked over and his mouth went dry when Jon smirked at him. _God dammit. God fucking dammit. God. Dammit._ He tightened his grip on his pillow, peeling his eyes away and glaring at Marcel’s feet as he danced in the middle of everyone and scattered tiny candy canes around. _Cherry. Fucking cherry._ He just got turned on by a flavor.

“Remember when Brock said we weren’t supposed to be sinners at Christmas time?” David asked the group, and Evan laughed louder than everyone else, because he sure as hell had failed at that today. And Jon? Jon just smiled over at him because he knew he was the reason why.

 

 

“I think it was something like that. I dunno. My mind’s so far from school right now.” Tyler threw back a shot of something alcoholic and tossed his arm over Craig’s shoulders. They were stood around in the kitchen eating food and drinking festive beverages, Brian already sick on the amount of raw cookie dough he'd managed to consume when Brock wasn't paying attention.

“I wish break would just last forever,” David sighed, scooping more frosting over a gingerbread man and popping the entire thing into his mouth. After he’d done it the fifth time they’d all just given up on telling him not to.

“I think everyone does,” Evan said, moving to take a sip from his cup. Or at least that was the plan until Jon took it out of his hand and did it for him, handing it back with a wink before slipping out of the kitchen and motioning for the boy to come after him.

With a gentle laugh Evan followed Jon back to Luke’s room while nobody was watching and closed the door behind him. When he turned around the boy was regarding him with those electric blue orbs of his, thought what more caught Evan’s attention was how he was obviously hiding something behind his back. He didn’t even need to ask, Jon produced an item gently covered in tissue paper and offered it to him. Evan took it and revealed a little mistletoe branch, the same one Scotty had held over them earlier, and he chuckled to himself.

But it washed over him and went away like the roll of the tide, the smile faltering on his face as he felt the twig between his fingers. Because now that he had his head clear and could think properly, only one thing was coming to mind: _You don’t need mistletoe to make me kiss you_. “Jon, I… I’m sorry, I can’t keep doing this whole thing with you… I like you a lot but it’s just that there’s someone else who I kind of…”

He didn’t finish because he was suddenly aware that Jon was laughing. _Laughing_. Not just smiling in that way that used to represent it, actually _laughing_ and it was the most familiar sound Evan had ever heard. “Evan, I kn—”

“Wait.” The way he said it was firm and jarring, enough so that Jon immediately looked much less amused by the situation. Instead a brew of fear and worry formed his face, because the tone Evan was speaking in was new, and the way he was starting Jon down was intense. “Delirious, it’s been you this whole time? This whole _fucking_ time?”

“It… I’m sorry.” Jon swallowed. Evan would be a damn liar if he said his eyes didn’t follow the movement of his throat. “I know it wasn’t right but I was scared—”

“Yeah, it wasn’t right at all,” Evan cut in, pushing him in the chest roughly enough that he stumbled backwards a step or two, though Evan followed and closed the gap. “Do you know how many nights of sleep I lost over you? Over _Delirious_ and _Jon?_ ”

The mirth was gone from Jon’s face by now. “I-I… Yes, I kn—”

Evan shoved him back again, causing his heels to hit the bed frame as he loomed over the older boy. The one who’d been tearing him apart for months like it was some kind of game, the one he wanted to be mad at, the one he knew he _should_ be mad at. “Of course you know. I told you all about it. I told _Delirious_.”

Jon opened his mouth to speak but Evan shoved him back a final time and he fell backwards onto the mattress. He stared up with a certain helplessness that settled a growl in the base of Evan’s throat as he watched him prop himself up on his elbows. “Evan—”

“Fuck you,” he snapped as he climbed over him in one swift motion, crashing their lips together and devouring the soft noise of surprise Jon let out. He knew he _should_ hate him, but what Evan felt was the farthest thing from hate. Jon relaxed despite what Evan was saying now. “Fuck you, Delirious.”

“I know,” he said for the dozenth time, eyes raking over the younger boy with hooded lids. Evan let out a sharp breath as Jon suddenly flipped them with unexpected strength before fisting a hand in his short, dark hair as he captured his lips once more.

“I hate you,” Evan clarified as they broke apart so Jon could study him.

“I know,” Jon smirked, leaning over and biting down on a particular spot that made Evan hiss and dig his fingers into his hips. He chuckled at the response, moving on to a different place, taking Evan apart at the seams. “I know. You should.”

“I do.” A soft groan of protest escaped him as Jon pulled off and hopped off the mattress, Evan following his lead with a confused expression. He could only half form thoughts at the moment but from what he could piece together he really wanted to finish whatever they’d just started.

“We’re in Luke’s room,” Jon stated when he noticed the other boy’s pout, and Evan shook his head as he dragged himself back to reality. He laughed a bit when he realized that they had literally almost fucked in their friend’s bed. Awkwardly he adjusted his clothes and hair and thought about how there was a blush undoubtedly spreading over his cheeks. Though he also made a note that they’d have to continue this another time.

“Safe to say you still want your identity to be a secret from the other guys?” Evan asked as Jon rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Y… Yeah, actually. I’ll tell them of course, I’m just not ready yet.” With a slight frown Evan reached for his hand, slotting their fingers together when it seemed like Jon would be okay with that.

“Why _are_ you a different person in real life? Why do you do that?” he asked as they sat on the edge of the bed together.

“Because if I were myself people would notice me.” He looked down at his lap and squeezed Evan’s hand. “If people notice me they’ll come after me like they used to. Because I’m loud, I’m different, I’m… not strong like Brian.”

And that sort of eliminated any anger Evan still felt because he understood. Delirious was gaudy and spontaneous (and gay, which they all knew the student body was oh so supportive of). If Jon acted like his online self at school it would go one of two ways, one being he’d become popular as hell like Tyler was, two being he’d become a target of all kinds of attacks. And judging from how small and generally pretty Jon was, it'd be number two. It’d be like painting a target on his back and that was a risk Evan didn't want him to take either. “Good. Because I don’t like Brian, I like Delirious.” Jon smiled gently at him just as a playful glint caught in Evan's eyes. “Well, Jonathan’s hotter but—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Jon laughed as a smile lit up his face, shoving Evan onto his back. But he leaned over him right after and kissed him softly, meaningfully, and Evan grinned as he tried to express as much emotion as he could with his lips.

They leapt apart as the door slammed open. “NO HAVIN’ SEX IN MY ROOM YOU HEATHENS!”

Down the hall the guys laughed. In the doorway Luke just smirked as Evan and Jon got to their feet. “We’re not,” Jon said, and Luke raised an eyebrow as he looked between them.

“You could have told me, you dick,” Evan said as he smacked the older boy on the arm, and Luke smiled, piecing together that Evan now knew the true identity of their typically mute friend.

“Hey, you should be _thanking_ me. My gift to you was spending weeks convincing him to tell you today,” he responded. Jon shrugged shyly when Evan glanced at him to confirm if that was true.

“Well in that case, thank you,” Evan said, looking back at Luke, who patted him on the head before pointing towards his childhood best friend.

“Told ya he’d take it well. Now both of you come on, Scotty let us turn him into a drag queen.” Evan and Jon shared a look— Had they heard that right?— as they trailed Luke back to the living room. Sure enough Scotty was wearing some clothes Suni had brought and was in the middle of getting his makeup done. What the reason for that happening was Evan and Jon would never know but either way they had a good time being a part of it, and when Jon leaned into him he looped an arm unashamedly around his waist. For the first time he didn’t feel guilty about it, or conflicted.

He pulled Jon even closer and left a gentle kiss on his cheek. This just… felt right. It was a dream come true, after all that wishing that he could mix the two people he'd given parts of his heart to it was like that had _actually_ happened. Evan kissed Jon's temple before ducking his head against the curve of his neck, taking in the ever present hint of cinnamon that came off his skin. This didn’t just feel _right_ … it felt like home.

“I love you, Delirious,” he said quietly. He could feel Jon smile.

“I love you too, Vanoss… Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”


	17. merry, merry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: papa snow (Luke/Cartoonz), 10" north pole (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), rudolph (Brian/Terroriser), nice list prince (Bryce/Bryce Games), black santa (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), candycane licker (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), santa's little slut (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), stocking stuffer (Craig/MiniLadd), naughty list bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), gingerbrevan (Evan/Vanoss), clarice (Brock/Moo), jingleballs (David/Daithi De Nogla)

**time to get fuckin festive**

papa snow: happy christmas eve you little turds

10” north pole: thanks lukey

papa snow: don’t call me lukey

10” north pole: okay daddy

papa snow: ffs

rudolph: ohm can you chill for once

nice list prince: was that a pun :D

black santa: PPPPPFFFFTTT

10” north pole: good one babe

nice list prince: thank you, i try

candycane licker: ohm thank you for the movie tickets btw

10” north pole: you’re welcome delirious

santa’s little slut: i was wondering what you got him

stocking stuffer: hey so what’s everyone up to today

naughty list bitch: nothing

gingerbrevan: nothing? it’s christmas eve

naughty list bitch: my family’s not big on holidays

clarice: but you said you love christmas…

naughty list bitch: i do, doesn’t mean my parents do too

jingleballs: is everything ok tyler?

black santa: yeah dude this seems kinda dark

naughty list bitch: fuck offffff everything’s fine nerds

nice list prince: if you say so

naughty list bitch: i do say so

rudolph: alright. well what’s everyone else doing?

papa snow: i’m going home to be with the fam

10” north pole: just family time for me too

candycane licker: me and vanoss are playing some gmod if anyone wants in

stocking stuffer: me and tyler do!

naughty list bitch: did you just sign me up for something without asking me

stocking stuffer: yep!

black santa: count me in

santa’s little slut: me too

jingeballs: me three :D

gingerbrevan: mom and dad?

clarice: we’ll play evan :)

papa snow: let’s get everyone in on this

10” north pole: yeah!

nice list prince: family bonding time!

black santa: yeee

naughty list bitch: family bondage time

black santa: nooo

 

 

It was an impossible habit to break, instilled into him from his days as a little kid when the excitement was too much to bear. Every Christmas, every single one, Evan was up and awake at the break of dawn. To most parents it would be annoying of their teenage son but luckily the Fongs were early risers anyway.

“There’s my boy.” Evan smiled brightly as he walked into the kitchen and was almost instantly enveloped in a hug from his mother. He wrapped his arms around her, briefly remembering the days when he could rest his head against her chest that were long past since he was now at least half a foot taller than her.

“Merry Christmas,” he said with sleepiness not quite gone from his voice.

“Merry Christmas,” she said back as she let him go, and Evan waved to his father who was sat at the island sipping some coffee. The man raised his mug in response, grinning and looking pleasantly bored as he read the paper like a typical dad.

“What’s for breakfast?” Evan asked as he took a seat at the table, his mom grabbing some plates from the counter before turning back to place one in front of him. His eyes lit up and he looked at her excitedly. “You _never_ make cinnamon rolls.”

“I do for Christmas,” she said, sitting across from him and winking. When Mr. Fong joined them they dug in, Evan eating four of the delicious sugary treats and downing two glasses of cold apple cider before he was satisfied.

“So how did Secret Santa go? You never told us,” said his mom as his parents were still finishing their food.

“Oh, it went well. Brian thought the card was funny,” he said as he sat up straight in his chair and stretched his arms over his head.

“Even the wrapping part?” his dad asked with a smirk, making him laugh.

“Maybe not that part,” he chuckled. He placed a hand over his stomach as he reached for more cider.

“And you said something cool happened?” his mom prompted, causing him to smile nervously as a blush burned along his cheeks.

“It… Yeah. So Jonathan—”

“That’s Pretty Boy, right?” Evan chuckled at his dad.

“Yeah. Pretty Boy.” It was the name that Mr. Fong had stuck Jonathan with ever since he’d come over to the house one time, not that Jon knew that. “Well… He’s Delirious.”

His mom gasped dramatically and he couldn’t help but laugh at her. “No way!”

“Yes way!” He covered his mouth with his hand and looked across the table at her. “But you can’t say anything, only me and Luke know.”

“Oh, of course.” She nodded her head dutifully and mimed zipping her lips, tossing the key. “Can’t have anyone learning his secret identity.”

“Right,” Evan agreed, scraping his fork quietly against his plate. “And, um… Well I… maybe kissed him?”

“About time,” said Evan’s dad, and his mom simply laughed as her son went several shades of red. “You always talk about Delirious. And Jonathan. Both of them? Even though they’re the same… This whole thing’s confusing.”

It was Evan’s turn to laugh. “How do you think _I_ felt?”

“So is he your boyfriend now?” The hopeful look in his mom’s eye almost made him chuckle again but instead he smiled down at his placemat, shrugging his shoulders.

“Not yet.”

“Well keep us in the loop, kiddo,” said Mr. Fong as he stood up to put his dishes in the sink, ruffling Evan’s hair as he went. “Let’s go take a look at what’s under that tree, shall we?”

“Yeah,” said Evan as he followed his father’s lead, putting his dirtied plate and utensils into the basin. “I hope it’s a puppy.”

His parents shook their heads fondly as they went into the sitting room, as did he, sitting cross legged on the floor and looking over at the family pictures on the mantle. For a moment his mind wandered to Tyler, wondering how things were going over at his house, worrying mostly. He’d give him a call later and ask he decided before his mom tore his attention back by placing a large box in his lap.

But when Evan _did_ call Tyler later he didn’t answer. Though he sent a text a few hours later saying he was busy and would talk to everyone the next day, so Evan just shrugged and let it go, returning his energy to his family and what they were doing for the rest of their Christmas.

 

 

delirious: come outside for a second

evan: it is two am

delirious: yep

delirious: and you’re awake

delirious: so come outside

evan: why are you here???

delirious: can you juuuuust come outsideeee

evan: hmmmmmm

delirious: do i have to beg

evan: i’d like to see you do that ;p

delirious: come out here and i will

evan: for real?

delirious: yep

delirious: pleaseee it’s cold

evan: i’m considering it

delirious: evannnn :(

evan: okayyyyy

evan: you still gotta beg tho

delirious: yeah yeah

\--

Evan put down his phone on his nightstand and slipped out of his bed as quietly as he could, tiptoeing down the stairs and silently squeezing through the front door. There on his doorstep was Delirious— _Jonathan_ — standing with the brand new blue jacket Evan had bought him wrapped around his body. He was wearing a dark gray beanie over his short, feathery hair and as Evan closed the door behind him a gleeful smile spread on his face.

“Soooo…?” Evan drawled, raising an eyebrow expectantly at the other boy. Sighing, Jon slowly dropped down on both knees and clasped his hands together, grinning up at him.

“Please,” was all he said, clearly unsure what it was he was actually begging for. Hearing Delirious’s familiar voice coming from his lips was still surreal (in a good way), and Evan couldn’t help but giggle a little bit at the fact that he had his best friend doing this. And of course he just had to push it.

“Please what?” he inquired playfully. For a few seconds neither of them spoke, but then a mischievous look flashed through Jon’s eyes and Evan’s heart skipped a beat.

“Kiss me?” He didn’t have to ask twice. Evan bent down and cupped Jonathan’s face in his hand, pressing their lips together softly in the gentle glow of the porch light. Eventually Jon stood up, their mouths never parting as he did so, all so he could ball a hand in the front of Evan’s shirt. “Heyyy. This the one I got you?”

Evan chuckled lightly as he looped an arm around him. “Yeah. I was missing you.”

He gently grabbed Jon’s jacket, feeling over the material with his fingertips. He didn’t even have to say anything. “I was missing you too.”

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” Evan said as he pecked him on the lips again, displaying the complete opposite of his words. When you were mad at someone you usually didn’t wrap them up in an embrace and kiss any part of their face that they’d let you, but apparently, Evan did.

“I know,” Jon replied quietly. “But you love me.”

“Hmmm.” Evan kissed his cheek.

“Hey…” Now the other one.

“What?” Just below his jaw…

“Come on…” His neck…

“I don’t know what you want.” Nose…

“Do you just wanna hear me beg again?” Evan chuckled, kissing him on the lips once more.

“Maybe.” Jonathan laughed in that way Evan loved so much before swatting him on the chest.

“You’re an ass,” he stated, but there was so much love in his eyes when their gazes met that Evan felt his heart swell, felt a warmth he was unfamiliar with growing beneath his ribs. He affectionately fixed Jonathan’s hat and brushed his thumb over his cheekbone. It was two in the morning, it was dark, it was cold, he still didn’t know why Jon was even here, but he knew what that feeling was. He knew that much.

“I love you,” he said earnestly, his voice low, and it was worth saying to see the way Jonathan smiled.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he said, catching Evan off guard. For a moment he had flashbacks to that one text Delirious had sent him months ago saying he had something to ask, something that he’d never actually asked because he wasn’t Jonathan back then, he was someone else entirely.

“Are you gonna wimp out this time?” Evan said teasingly, and Jon playfully rolled his eyes.

“It’s actually gonna be the same thing I meant to ask you back then,” he said. So he _did_ remember.

“What?” Evan asked as he wrapped his fingers around Jon’s wrist.

“I just… was wondering if you’d go to that stupid New Year’s dance with me?” he said as he linked their hands. Evan laughed quietly and was nodding his head before he could give it a moment of thought.

“Absolutely.” He kissed him quickly. “And I had a question too.”

“Hmm?” Jonathan tilted his head and Evan couldn’t suppress the fondness he felt even if he tried.

“ _I_ was wondering if you’d be my boyfriend? Officially.”

Jonathan squeezed his hand, and Evan wasn’t completely sure, but he could almost swear he saw every single star in his eyes. “Absolutely.”


	18. hi welcome to chilis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: black santa (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), stocking stuffer (Craig/MiniLadd), naughty list bitch (Tyler/Wildcat), santa's little slut (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), rudolph (Brian/Terroriser), jingleballs (David/Daithi De Nogla), clarice (Brock/Moo)

"How did I lose my virginity?" Brian already seemed to be cringing at the impending answers as he placed the black card face-up in the center of the table.

"Like, _your_ virginity specifically?" asked Lui as he shuffled through the white deck in his hand.

"Sure. Why not?" The Card Czar gave a nonchalant shrug before reaching for his coffee, some Starbucks brew that Craig had gotten him hooked on a few weeks ago.

"Hey Broooock," Marcel started as he smirked across the table at him. Everyone erupted into laughter, Brock included.

"Hey! What makes you think he was my first?" Brian objected. Evan rolled his eyes as he tossed an arm around Jonathan's shoulders, feeling a sort of euphoria as he listened to his friends playfully bicker about it. Maybe, just maybe, The Curse had finally been lifted.

"Anyway," Brock smiled, bringing them all back, "how did Brian lose his virginity? Play your cards."

Vigorous jazz hands, my vagina, Michael Jackson, daddy issues, and roofies were the resulting answers. And had Marcel singing _one of these things is not like the other_ without anyone else actually knowing which one he was referring to while Brock covered his mouth in shock at another. "Who played _that_ one?" Evan shouted in disbelief as he pointed towards _daddy issues_. If anyone else had been the Czar it wouldn't have been so startling, but when it was Brian, who had lost his dad just two years ago, that was something else.

"That one, that one wins," Brian said through laughter, tears in his eyes and his cheeks flushed. He began to applauded whoever had put it down and they all started laughing once again as Jon slowly reached out for the black card to claim his victory. "Good play Jonny boy!"

As he did a little bow Evan affectionately shook his head, using the hand not wrapped around his boyfriend to check his phone. Most of his notifications were Snapchats to the group from Craig, who had flown to Northern Ireland with his family for a couple days, but there was also a text from... Jon. That was what the display name said. But Evan smirked knowingly as he went to change the contact name to _Liz_. As it had turned out, Jon had been using his sister Elizabeth's phone to text everyone as himself while he used his own phone to text as Delirious.

"Babe, did you put your phone somewhere?" Evan asked quietly into his ear. "Liz said you aren't texting her back."

"It's fine," Jon muttered back as he organized his cards. "She's with Luke. Probably just wants to make sure I'm good before she decides to spend the night."

Luke and Delirious's sister had been dating for a few years, though of course, none of them had ever known she was his sister. Evan only knew now because he'd demanded Jonathan shed any secrets he was still holding, and he had. That was one of them. "I'll tell her you're good then." Evan kissed his boyfriend's temple before returning to his phone.

"So are we all going as a group to the dance?” asked Marcel as he shuffled his cards around in his hands.

“I thought you were taking Scotty,” Brock said as he ignored Brian poking his cheek repeatedly for reasons none of them were aware of. Likely for the sole purpose of being annoying.

“I am.” Marcel shrugged. “But it’d be cool if everyone went together like, not date-wise.”

“Am I invited?” Lui asked nervously, a shy smile on his face as he fiddled his thumbs in his lap like a child. He’d been a big part of their friend group last year but had sort of faded out of it until recently, though Evan thought he could probably speak for everyone in saying they were glad he was coming back to them.

“Of course you are, Lui,” Brock grinned reassuringly as he finally swatted his boyfriend’s finger away, shooting him a sideways glare that was about as intimidating as a growl from a puppy. Evan chuckled as his phone buzzed in his hand, and he slid the lock screen away to read the new message from his beau’s sibling.

“Liz says use protection,” Evan smirked into Jonathan’s hair. He could feel the older boy stiffen beneath his arm though nobody else seemed to notice, going on while the pair were in their own little world.

“N-No she didn’t. Shut up.” Jonathan tried to shrug him off but it didn’t work.

“She did actually.” He showed him his phone to prove it. “Though we don’t have to listen to her if you don’t want…”

Jonathan was bright red in the face by now, and that was all Evan actually wanted out of his foul-mouthed comments. The way Brock’s face morphed from curiosity to confusion to startled understanding as he observed them, which Evan caught from the corner of his eye, was just a bonus.

 

 

**time to get fuckin festive**

_stocking stuffer changed the chat name to hi welcome to chilis_

black santa: ex fucking scuse me

stocking stuffer: i’m the captain now

_craig changed their name to i'm old craig_

naughty list bitch: what the fuck is going on it is one in the fucking morning do you fucks ever sleep

i'm old craig: you’re up though??

naughty list bitch: fuck you mini

i'm old craig: aww tyty be nice :(

naughty list bitch: tf you just call me

_black santa changed tyler’s name to tyty_

tyty: i've hated many things in my life but nothing could have prepared me for how much i hate you right now in this very moment

i'm old craig: love you tyty <3

santa’s little slut: aaaand i’m up

black santa: hi scotty boy

santa’s little slut: hey bitch

santa’s little slut: what’re you all doing awake

tyty: suffering

i'm old craig: memeing

santa’s little slut: well okay then

_i'm old craig changed scotty’s name to meme me up scotty_

black santa: hahhh i get it. star wars.

tyty: star treK?? ? you ignorant slu t

black santa: IT IS ONE IN THE MORNING LAY OFF TYLER

tyty: fiGHT ME MARCEL

rudolph: yeah it’s one in the morning so the fUCk is my phone blowing up for???????

_i'm old craig changed brian's name to david beckham_

david beckham: wait are you telling me we could have changed the names ourselves this whole time

black santa: yeah

david beckham: fuck you marcel

black santa: yeah…

jingleballs: oh i didn’t know that either

i'm old craig: how long??? have you been here????

jingleballs: idk i like to lurk sometimes

tyty: goddamn it daithi

david beckham: well i’m awake because of these pricks what’s your excuse

jingleballs: parents decided to make the triplets share a room and aindreas snores

meme me up scotty: rip buddy

jingleballs: just a normal de nogla family vacation tbh

_i'm old craig changed david's name to NOOO JOOOE_

NOOO JOOOE: will i ever be free from no joe

david beckham: never

_marcel changed their name to finn the human_

tyty: wow. that’s all you got?

finn the human: i’m tired and lacking originality

_i'm old craig changed marcel’s name to finn the fuckboi_

finn the fuckboi: l i STEN HERE YOU LITTLE ShIT

NOOO JOOOE: HAHAA AH MARCEL’S A FUCKBOY

david beckham: go to bed david

NOOO JOOOE: okay

_NOOO JOOOE left the chat_

david beckham: wait he actually listened???

tyty: finally we got rid of nogla. after all these years.

i'm old craig: never thought i’d see the day

meme me up scotty: ...so

tyty: alright i’m bored

_tyty added david to the chat_

NOOO JOOOE: aww you missed me :’)

i’m old craig: nah

tyty: there was a lack of stupid in the chat it was getting dull

NOOO JOOOE: D:

finn the fuckboi: you know we love you daithi

NOOO JOOOE: i love you too

clarice: why are you all up so late/early?

i’m old craig: awww hi brocky!

david beckham: hi baby

clarice: going to assume david beckham is brian so hi babe

meme me up scotty: so cute

finn the fuckboi: i love my parents

david beckham: why are YOU awake?

clarice: um… bad dream… it’s childish i know

david beckham: want me to come over?

clarice: could you?

david beckham: i’ll be there in ten

finn the fuckboi: I LOVE MY PARENTS

_i’m old craig changed brock's name to mooma brock_

tyty: heyy that’s my pun you fuckin whore

 _i’m old craig changed brock's name to mooma brock_ _™tyty_

tyty: alright alright don’t push it dickbag

_tyty changed brock's name to mooma brock_

david beckham: go to sleep everyone i’ll talk to you later

meme me up scotty: marcel why don’t you drive to my house in the middle of the night? :(

finn the fuckboi: my car is shit??

meme me up scotty: come thru

finn the fuckboi: uhg

finn the fuckboi: fine

NOOO JOOOE: i ship it

meme me up scotty: we know :*

finn the fuckboi: goodnight boys

mooma brock: goodnight everyone

NOOO JOOOE: goodniiiiightttt

meme me up scotty: night night

_tyty is typing…_

tyty: looks like it’s me and you mini

i’m old craig: everyone’s coupling up i feel left out

i’m old craig: come over

tyty: i don’t have a car

i’m old craig: that’s never stopped you before

tyty: true

tyty: but also fuk you

i’m old craig: rUDE

tyty: nah for real i can’t but hang tomorrow?

i’m old craig: okay :D love you bb

tyty: that's awkward bcs i hate you

i'm old craig: but senpaiiii =uwu=

_tyty left the chat_

 

 

marcel: hey evan

evan: what’s up marcel

marcel: i need some help

evan: with?

marcel: scott

evan: ?

marcel: so we’re going to the new years thing together right

evan: right…

marcel: so here’s the thing

marcel: i asked him to go with me

marcel: and like he said yes or whatever

marcel: but i don’t think he realized i meant like… together… together… as in like… we’d be together when we went… as in… like…

evan: as in… not a friend way?

marcel: yup. bingo.

evan: you like scotty????????

marcel: i thought??? everyone?????? knew that ???? ??

evan: NO MARCEL THEY DIDN’T

evan: WE JUST THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME CLINGY BEST FRIEND BULLSHIT GOING ON

marcel: I THOUGHT I WAS BEING OBVIOUS

evan: EVEN SCOTTY DOESN’T KNOW

marcel: I KNOW

evan: YOU FUCKED UP MARCEL

marcel: I FUCKED UP EVAN

evan: WHY ARE WE YELLING

marcel: I DON’T KNOW BUT I FEEL YELLING EMOTIONS

evan: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

marcel: A THING BUT I NEED YOUR HELP

marcel: AND YOUR BOYFRIEND’S

marcel: AND MAYBE ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS

evan: LET’S GET HER GOIN

evan: wait what’s the plan

marcel: step one i need you guys to go undercover and figure out if he likes me back

evan: nogla could probably find out

evan: what’s step two

marcel: step two will happen at the new years party this weekend

evan: oh no

marcel: oh yes

evan: where does jonathan come in

marcel: i need to borrow some of his clothes

evan: what

evan: but he’s tiny his shit won’t fit you?

marcel: he has that black sweater thing that always falls off his shoulder i need that

evan: wait

evan: do you…

evan: THAT sweater thing????

marcel: yeah baby

marcel: THAT sweater thing ;)

evan: i don’t think i want to see you in that

marcel: scotty might

evan: hmmm

evan: yeah he might

marcel: you like seeing jon in it so

evan: i also like seeing him out of it

marcel: shut the fuck up evan you fucking virgin

evan: BE NIC E I’M heLPIng YOU REMEMBER!??

marcel: doesn’t make you not a virgin tho

evan: don’t make me send screenshots of this to fourzero

marcel: i take it back

evan: good

marcel: but also

_marcel changed evan’s name to extra virgin olive oil_

_extra virgin olive oil blocked marcel_


	19. operation basicallyido407.exe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: hellboy (Luke/Cartoonz), i'm old craig (Craig/MiniLadd), meme me up scotty (Scotty/FoursZer0Seven), big buff cheeto puff (Evan/Vanoss), tyty (Tyler/Wildcat), bottom bitch (Bryce/Bryce Games), playboy bunny (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), anthony (Anthony/BigJigglyPanda), finn the fuckboi (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), h2hoe (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), mooma brock (Brock/Moo), david beckham (Brian/Terroriser), NOOO JOOOE (David/Daithi De Nogla)
> 
> Members in operation basicallyido407: eagle one (David), if i had to pick a dude (Marcel), happened once in a dream (Evan)

**hi welcome to chilis**

hellboy: when did our names change?

i'm old craig: between 18 and 19

meme me up scotty: what?

i'm old craig: don't worry about it

meme me up scotty: are you following cartoonz?

hellboy: nope

big buff cheeto puff: about that

big buff cheeto puff: have i mentioned that i hate my new name

i’m old craig: it’s a callback to earlier chapters you gotta keep it evan

tyty: to earlier what????

i’m old craig: I SAID DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

bottom bitch: at least your name isn’t bottom bitch -.-

playboy bunny: but bryce… are they wrong

bottom bitch: o h m stop

_finn the fuckboi added anthony to the chat_

tyty: ......um

anthony: hello friends

big buff cheeto puff: oh hey panda

anthony: cheeto is evan right

big buff cheeto puff: fml

big buff cheeto puff: but yes

anthony: hi evan :)

i'm old craig: not that i have a problem with jiggly being here but that was random af

finn the fuckboi: he has been texting me

finn the fuckboi: for aN HOUR

finn the fuckboi: BEGGING ME TO ADD HIM TO THE "SUPER SECRET GROUP CHAT"

finn the fuckboi: HE WOULDN'T STOP SENDING ME PICTURES OF HIS CHINS UNTIL I DID

h2hoe: i'm proud of you panda

anthony: thank u

tyty: he needs a name tho

_i'm old craig changed anthony's name to pedo bear_

pedo bear: i approve

mooma brock: i do not

big buff cheeto puff: O SHIT

h2hoe: HIS MOM SENSES WERE ACTIVATED

big buff cheeto puff: HE'S HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP

h2hoe: no wait he's here to stop us from doing that

big buff cheeto puff: ohhhh true true true

david beckham: can you two just for once shut the fuck up

NOOO JOOOE: GUYS

playboy bunny: you jinxed it

finn the fuckboi: things were peaceful

meme me up scotty: so calm

bottom bitch: serene

playboy bunny: noglaless

hellboy: and you fucked it up brian

pedo bear: how do you feel

david beckham: who the fuck is pedo bear

tyty: who do you think

_pedo bear sent an image_

david beckham: is that someone's ass?????

pedo bear: WHAT THE FUCK NO THAT'S MY FACE

david beckham: ew

h2hoe: those are some good chins

pedo bear: thank you delirious

NOOO JOOOE: oh hi jiggly!

NOOO JOOOE: anyway wrong chat. carry on.

mooma brock: nogla are you cheating on us with another group chat? D:

NOOO JOOOE: yea

tyty: alright pussy boy we don't need you

meme me up scotty: just tell me are they prettier than us

NOOO JOOOE: nah they some ugly sumbitches

 

 

**david, evan, marcel**

david: GUYS

evan: i feel offended

marcel: same wtf have you seen me

marcel: i'm beautiful

_david changed the chat name to operation basicallyido407_

david: time for code names

evan: i like code names

_david changed their name to eagle one_

_david changed marcel's name to if i had to pick a dude_

_david changed evan's name to happened once in a dream_

happened once in a dream: i suddenly don't like codenames anymore

if i had to pick a dude: idk i take our token hetero finding us attractive as a compliment

happened once in a dream: he called us ugly like two minutes ago

if i had to pick a dude: true

eagle one: i was just joking before, you two are boooootiful

happened once in a dream: thanks nogla

if i had to pick a dude: alright gang, what's the plan?

eagle one: you have the plan already, we just have to make it happen

eagle one: i'll try to get scotty to confess he likes you by tomorrow

eagle one: evan did you get the sweater thing from delirious

happened once in a dream: delirious?

eagle one: yeah marcel said he had some sweater thing that he wanted to borrow

if i had to pick a dude: i said evan's boyfriend

eagle one: yeah i know

happened once in a dream: .........

happened once in a dream: nogla

happened once in a dream: my boyfriend

happened once in a dream: my boyfriend jonathan dennis

happened once in a dream: my literal boyfriend, not the guy you ship me with

eagle one: oh

if i had to pick a dude: LMFAOOOOO

\--

david: so marcel doesn't know huh?

evan: what?

david: that jon is delirious

evan: wait

evan: WAIT

evan: YOU know !???

david: huh?

david: oh. yeah.

david: i knew before you actually

evan: WHAT??????

david: well it was an accident

david: i was with cartoonz and his girlfriend called her brother on speaker while i was there

david: and of course i knew delirious' voice when i heard it

david: and she called him jonathan so i figured it out pretty quick

evan: wow

david: yea

david: i'm a very smart boy

evan: why didn't you tell anyone? especially me

david: he asked me not to

david: besides i was helping

evan: helping?

david: to get you together

evan: ?

david: remember at the party when i shoved you into him

evan: yeah but

david: and at the hotel i made sure you had a room with each other

evan: true...

david: i helped luke convince him to tell you who he was for christmas too

evan: can i ask why

david: it would have never happened on its own because ye are idiots

evan: rude

evan: but tru

david: ur welcome buddy ;)

evan: you dick :p

david: yep! now back to marcel before i get one more fukn penis

\--

if i had to pick a dude: penis

if i had to pick a dude: penis

if i had to pick a dude: penis

if i had to pick a dude: penis

if i had to pick a dude: p en i s

if i had to pick a dude: peeeeeeniiiiiiis

if i had to pick a dude: p e n i s

if i had to pick a dude: penis

if i had to pick a dude: penis penis penis

if i had to pick a dude: biiiiiig penis

if i had to pick a dude: penís

if i had to pick a dude pèñïš

if i had to pick a dude: PENIS

if i had to pick a dude: A WHOLE CLUSTER OF DICKS

eagle one: okay okay we're here

happened once in a dream: you can stop penising now

if i had to pick a dude: penis

eagle one: you good marcel

if i had to pick a dude: penis.png

happened once in a dream: penis.gif

if i had to pick a dude: penis.jpeg

happened once in a dream: it's ya boy

if i had to pick a dude: skinny penis

happened once in a dream: hey marcel

if i had to pick a dude: yes evan

happened once in a dream: what's up

if i had to pick a dude: i'm going to have to go with a guess here and say penis

happened once in a dream: u rite

if i had to pick a dude: penis

happened once in a dream: penis

if i had to pick a dude: penis

happened once in a dream: penis

eagle one: operation basicallyido407.exe has stopped working

happened once in a dream: penis.exe has stopped working

if i had to pick a dude: penis.exe is erect

eagle one: fuck sake

 

  
"I told you," Jonathan said, turning amusement-lit eyes on Evan as they made their way to his house, "I didn't ask him to do it. He just sorta did. But I'm glad."

Evan rolled his eyes but he was smiling. If it had been anyone else besides Nogla he'd have his doubts, but it had been Nogla, so that made sense. He was a H2OVanoss shipper through and through. "Nerd."

Evan's boyfriend swatted him on the arm as they took a turn down the street. The sun made his short strands of hair glow a honeyed brown while they made his electric eyes even more vibrant than usual... If someone told Evan he were actually an angel and not a teenage boy he'd believe it with no questions asked. There may not have been a perfect person out there in the world, but to Evan, Jonathan was as close as it got.

"What?" Jonathan asked as his gaze wandered around on the ground, a gentle blush tinting his face.

"Nothing," Evan said softly, smiling with just the same tenderness.

"Then why're you starin' at me?" His laugh was something more reserved, something shy, coy. It was cute.

"I'm an owl. It's what I do," Evan stated, making his eyes go as round as he could when Jonathan looked back at him. There it was, the unapologetic and honest laughter that made Evan fall for him to begin with. It was borderline insane sounding but there was more to it than that. It was pure joy, every single time, no faking and no bullshit. Jonathan really was just _that_ happy. He was _that_ full of life.

Their hands found one another and their fingers linked together as they reached the front yard. Evan was convinced electricity ran through his skin at the contact. No matter where he and Jonathan touched, no matter how many times, it was always an invigorating sensation. This boy made him feel... well, he made him feel alive.

And Evan really liked that.

"I love you," Evan said, feeling his boyfriend squeeze his hand in response as they stepped onto the porch.

"You sap," he teased as he grabbed for the doorknob with his free hand. Evan heartbeat got quicker as words danced on the tip of his tongue, and after a few moments of debating, he decided he would. He'd say it.

They stepped into the house and he took a deep breath. "No, Jonathan... I... I think I'm completely _in_ l—"

"Oh, mom! Jon's home!" Liz's voice cut through the mood and struck Evan in a way that made him choke on his words. He couldn't place why. Maybe because he'd never met his boyfriend's mom before...? No, it wasn't that. Why was Liz announcing her brother's arrival like that from upstairs? She'd sounded too sharp, too intentioned for it to be playful.

The shock doubled when Jonathan suddenly ripped their hands apart and practically jumped a foot away from Evan. The younger boy could feel confusion etching into his features as a thin woman came around the corner wiping her hands with a dish rag. "Yes, I can see that Lizzy," she said back up the stairs while Evan watched Jon clam up, ducking his head and everything.

"Just making sure," Liz called back, and the woman, their mother Evan assumed, turned to him and smiled sweetly.

"Hi, I'm Cathy," she introduced herself as she put out one of her daintily manicured hands. Evan took it and tried to snap out of his daze, flashing a smile of his own.

"I'm Evan. Um, Jonathan's b—"

"Ah! You're the best friend Evan I've heard so much about!" Cathy looked delighted, but Evan felt his blood stop pumping for a second or two. Liz's announcement hadn't been an announcement, it had been a _warning_. And Jonathan... He was staring at the carpet like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever laid eyes on, rubbing his arm.

His mom didn't _know_. "Uh... Y-Yeah. Best friend Evan. That's me." He wasn't sure what hurt more, being a dirty little secret or the fact that Jonathan looked like he was blinking back tears.

Maybe The Curse wasn't done with them after all.


	20. slutter squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in operation basicallyido407: eagle one (David/Daithi De Nogla), happened once in a dream (Evan/Vanoss), if i had to pick a dude (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), eagle two (Tyler/Wildcat)
> 
> Members in this chat: playboy bunny (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), hellboy (Luke/Cartoonz), h2hoe (Jonathan/H2ODelirious), bottom bitch (Bryce/Bryce Games), i'm old craig (Craig/MiniLadd), pedo bear (Anthony/BigJigglyPanda), finn the fuckboi (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), meme me up scotty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), tyty (Tyler/Wildcat), big buff cheeto puff (Evan/Vanoss), david beckham (Brain/Terroriser), NOOO JOOOE (David/Daithi De Nogla)

"Evan, can we just talk it out?"

"There's nothing to talk out." Evan was lying. He had been essentially pouting over the past two days and he knew it was both unfair and childish, but he couldn't help it. After going to the Dennis household and having that run in with Jonathan's mom he'd explained how he just hadn't gotten around to coming out to his family aside from his sister yet, and that he wasn't ready, which Evan understood. But it still made him a little pissed off if he were honest. Which was exactly what he wasn't being because if he were nothing else he was stubborn.

"You're still upset," Jonathan replied, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked sideways at his boyfriend. They were sat on the edge of David's bed, waiting for him to come out of his unnecessarily large closet with what clothes he personally believed Marcel should wear to the New Years party. It had been an hour and he was still sorting through his wide array of black outfits while picking out things he wanted either Evan or Jonathan to try on as well. He may not have been gay but he was when it came to fashion, so to say.

"I'm not," Evan said as he scrolled through his Twitter feed. He wasn't even reading anything on it, but if he was looking at his phone he didn't have to look at those beautiful blue eyes that made him melt, and that was the point.

"You are," Jonathan stated more firmly, his voice getting a slight bit louder as his irritation grew. "I said I was sorry, and I will come out and tell them, just..."

"Not yet," Evan responded shortly, looking up from his screen just long enough to toss something similar to a glare at the other boy.

"Can you both stop?" They glanced up as David reemerged from the closet with a scowl on his face and a variety of shirts draped over one of his arms. He held the bundle of clothes against his chest as he looked between them, eventually pointing at Jonathan. "You've been wanting Evan since you guys met years ago. You need to be more proud that you finally got him."

Evan smirked and looked at his boyfriend. Jonathan opened his mouth to protest. "I—"

David didn't care to listen. "And you." He pointed at Evan now. "You need to stop bein' a little cunt."

"Excuse me?" He wanted to believe it was his Canadian nature that didn't allow a _fuck you_ to escape his lips.

"Don't ye remember how hard coming out was for you?" David went on, as if Evan had actually asked for clarification about what he was being a little cunt about. "Because I do. You made me talk to ye on the phone for two hours and then you cried when ye told your mum an' dad."

Now Jonathan was the one smirking. "I remember," Evan said as his eyes narrowed on his Irish best friend.

"Then why are you treatin' Jonathan like it's supposed to be easy?" That was the part that forced the anger out of him. Instead of shooting daggers at Nogla Evan's gaze softened and he turned it on his boyfriend. Those goddamn perfect eyes were staring right back with just as much gentleness.

"You're right," Evan said quietly as he put on a small apologetic smile. "I'm being a complete dick."

"Sort of," Jonathan agreed with a shrug. "But you're my dick."

"And his dick is also yours," David said casually.

"Shut up Nogla," they groaned simultaneously, and next they knew the room was filled with laughter. David put the shirts aside and flopped onto the bed across both of their laps, his legs over Evan and his head on Jonathan's thighs, the latter carding his fingers through their friend's wavy black hair.

"I love ye guys," David said as he closed his eyes, a content smile breaking out on his face.

"We love you, Nogla," Jonathan responded before Evan could teasingly tell him that they hated him. David stretched his arms out before nestling his head more against Jonathan's leg, practically curling up on the other two boys like a cat.

"Think we have'ta go shopping to get Marcel trousers. Don't think any of ours will fit him and his jeans don't fit him right." That was his last comment before he passed out, snoring quietly into Jonathan's hip. Chuckling quietly he and Evan managed to shift him around so that they were all cuddled up in a pile on the bed, David and Evan both lying on the older boy with David on his lap and Evan resting his head on his chest.

"I love you," Evan said quietly, guilt flooding into his heart as he thought about the stress he must have been causing lately. Just because he was hurt didn't mean he had to take it out on Jon, if anything he should have been mad at society for making coming out such a big deal.

"I love you too," Jonathan responded softly as his arm wrapped around Evan's torso and pulled him closer.

"And I'm sorry," he said. Jonathan took a moment this time to reply, his fingers tracing light patterns on Evan's upper arm.

"So am I. But we're okay... right?" Evan smiled at that.

"Of course we are."

"Good." They laid in silence for a while. It was only broken by their muffled laughter when David sleepily moved to cuddle them better, laying behind Evan, spooning him and reaching out to touch Jonathan's stomach with the same arm draped over the Canadian. 

"He's kind of like a pet," Jon commented, making Evan snort.

"Yeah," he agreed, smiling at the way David pressed his cold nose against his neck to, probably intentionally, steal some of his warmth.

"Hey Evan?"

"Yeah?"

"I really love you."

"I really love you too."

"Me too," David mumbled into Evan's skin.

"Shut up Nogla," Evan said much more affectionately than the last time, and he felt his friend smile.

 

 

**operation basicallyido407**

_eagle one added tyler to the chat_

happened once in a dream: i didn't know we were bringing wildcat into this

if i had to pick a dude: me neither??

_eagle one changed tyler's name to eagle two_

eagle two: oh thank fuck

eagle one: tyler proved himself worthy

happened once in a dream: how?

eagle two: dumbass mcgee here was obviously trying to get scott to say he likes marcel but scotty's also a dumbass so he wasn't getting it

eagle one: tyler asked him straight out for me

if i had to pick a dude: AND?????

eagle two: "oh yeah i do. i thought everyone knew that."

happened once in a dream: i fucking hate both of you marcel

if i had to pick a dude: same

if i had to pick a dude: but yooo i have a chance???

eagle one: yep

eagle two: so what's this plan to get with him nogla told me about

happened once in a dream: you know that black sweater jon has

eagle two: no?

happened once in a dream: the cropped one

eagle two: ...

if i had to pick a dude: the slutty one

eagle two: oh that one

happened once in a dream: did you just call my boyfriend slutty

if i had to pick a dude: nah i called his clothes slutty

eagle two: i'll call him slutty though

eagle two: evan your bf's slutty

happened once in a dream: thank you.......

eagle one: yeah so slutter and party games = basicallyido407

happened once in a dream: we are not calling it the slutter

if i had to pick a dude: i think we are

_eagle two changed the chat name to slutter squad_

eagle one: i like when tyler is in the chat

eagle two: yeah because i'm fuckin great

happened once in a dream: i hate you all

if i had to pick a dude: <3

eagle one: can i ask something heterosexual

if i had to pick a dude: gross but sure

eagle one: do you think i have a chance with anyone at the new years thing?

eagle two: no

eagle one: :(

happened once in a dream: i mean why no though

if i had to pick a dude: yeah i think you would daithi

eagle one: :((

eagle two: i was kidding nutsack

eagle two: some girls were telling my friend kelly they thought you were cute so

eagle one: really?

happened once in a dream: get in nogla

if i had to pick a dude: do we have to get him a slutter too

happened once in a dream: don't make me block you again

eagle two: he definitely needs a slutter

eagle two: drive the ladies wild

eagle one: what color slutter should it be

if i had to pick a dude: green slutter

eagle two: green slutter ^

happened once in a dream: all of you suck

if i had to pick a dude: just me and tyler. daithi's straight.

eagle two: i don't suck i get sucked

eagle one: by craig

_eagle two left the chat_

happened once in a dream: david, sensitive subject.

eagle one: i forgot i'm sorry

_if i had to pick a dude added tyler to the chat_

eagle two: jk i'm not mad

eagle one: sorry tho :(

eagle two: besides i meant get sucked by your mom

_eagle one removed tyler from the chat_

 

  
**hi welcome to chilis**

playboy bunny: baby

hellboy: yes?

playboy bunny: other baby

h2hoe: yes?

playboy bunny: other other baby

bottom bitch: me?

playboy bunny: yeah that baby

playboy bunny: i'm picking you up right

bottom bitch: should i be offended?

i'm old craig: soooo polyamory or nah because i ship it

bottom bitch: ....yes i need to be picked up

hellboy: :') love my boyfriends

h2hoe: same

pedo bear: i want one

finn the fuckboi: a boyfriend or a ride

pedo bear: i'm not picky

meme me up scotty: same tho

finn the fuckboi: but bb :(

meme me up scotty: better snatch me up before i'm gone boi :p

tyty: gone where ain't nobody want yo ugly ass

meme me up scotty: DDD:

playboy bunny: anyone else need a ride?

big buff cheeto puff: me, jon and tyler are going with brock

hellboy: i'd offer rides but i already have panda, smitty and lui

david beckham: i got the stragglers

NOOO JOOOE: thanks dad

h2hoe: hey evan

big buff cheeto puff: what

h2hoe: do i get some more selfies during truth or dare? ;p

finn the fuckboi: HAHAHAH

big buff cheeto puff: srry in a committed monogamous relationship

playboy bunny: i'm not

playboy bunny: i'll send you nudes delirious <3

h2hoe: <3

i'm old craig: what did you and bryce break up in the last minute?????

bottom bitch: no

bottom bitch: he meant he's not monogamous

i'm old craig: oh!

tyty: wait what does that mean

playboy bunny: basically i'm down with having multiple significant others

david beckham: huh

pedo bear: if you need a third i'm a very good cuddler

finn the fuckboi: anthony you're straight

pedo bear: yeah but i'm also lonely

NOOO JOOOE: forget operation basicallyido407 we need operation get panda a girlfriend

meme me up scotty: operation what

tyty: operation mind your damn business bitch

meme me up scotty: this is??? a group chat ? ?

h2hoe: can i be the third i like boys and cuddles

playboy bunny: bryce can we keep him

bottom bitch: you gotta be a real person to cuddle ;p

h2hoe: true i have no body

finn the fuckboi: don't think that's what he meant but that's interesting to know

i'm old craig: operation find ohm and bryce another boyfriend

hellboy: hi

i'm old craig: you have a monogamous girlfriend

hellboy: true

big buff cheeto puff: we could make it easy and just all date each other

playboy bunny: i'm down

bottom bitch: and date ryan? ew

playboy bunny: see this is why i need another boyfriend he's so mean to me

david beckham: i don't want to be with any of you motherfuckers

mooma brock: :(

david beckham: except for you babe

david beckham: i definitely want to be with you

david beckham: always

mooma brock: <3

tyty: if we all date each other is it incest

i'm old craig: yeah but it's fine

tyty: let's get the ball rolling then

finn the fuckboi: i don't wanna fuck you, ur ugli

tyty: suck my dick

i'm old craig: whennnn

tyty: depends how much you charge

i'm old craig: affection and a handful of dank memes

mooma brock: no prostitution until after the party

tyty: mom approves of prostitution pass it on

mooma brock: sex work is a job like any other

mooma brock: i just demand safe practice. other than that live your dreams.

meme me up scotty: can i become a stripper

mooma brock: yes you can

mooma brock: i believe in you

tyty: can i become a drag queen

mooma brock: absolutely

david beckham: can i become your husband

finn the fuckboi: i need to punch something that was so cute

pedo bear: me too wanna punch each other

mooma brock: yes you can brian <3

meme me up scotty: add me to the punching ring i'm overwhelmed with cuteness

playboy bunny: add me too i have a punching kink

hellboy: and boom goes the moment

bottom bitch: he doesn't have a punching kink

h2hoe: darn

big buff cheeto puff: i don't think i believe you

bottom bitch: he doesn't

i'm old craig: he does have a choking kink though

david beckham: why do you know that????

NOOO JOOOE: we all took that bdsm test together

tyty: why

playboy bunny: science

i'm old craig: nogla's vanilla as fuck

NOOO JOOOE: that's okay i like vanilla

pedo bear: sweet jesus he's so innocent

hellboy: someone send the link to that test later

hellboy: rn i'm headin to the party

playboy bunny: same see you soon babe

hellboy: <3

playboy bunny: redhead babe

bottom bitch: it's blonde tho

tyty: since fucking when carrot top

bottom bitch: ;-;

bottom bitch: i'm being bullied

_david beckham changed bryce's name to carrot cake_

carrot cake: BABE I'M BEING BULLIED

hellboy: sorry babe

carrot cake: help me

playboy bunny: sorry babe but we can't

carrot cake: babe pls

h2hoe: nothing we can do babe sorry

i'm old craig: we're just accepting this polyquad right

big buff cheeto puff: yeah looks like it

playboy bunny: love you babes

carrot cake: ily

hellboy: love you babes x3

h2hoe: wow yesterday i was single and now i have three boyfriends

NOOO JOOOE: 4

tyty: ?

NOOO JOOOE: didn't mean to type that oops

big buff cheeto puff: -.-

pedo bear: i want one

pedo bear: share

carrot cake: no

pedo bear: selfish

meme me up scotty: i'll be ur boyfriend jiggly

pedo bear: :D

_finn the fuckboi removed scotty from the chat_

finn the fuckboi: i think the fuck not anthony

pedo bear: D:

tyty: possessive much

finn the fuckboi: yes

pedo bear: i'm straight

finn the fuckboi: ........oh yeah

_finn the fuckboi added scotty to the chat_

meme me up scotty: you could just ask me out you know

NOOO JOOOE: noooooo he can do that later we worked too hard on operation basicallyido407 to not do it

meme me up scotty: do you all want me to pretend i don't know marcel likes me so you can do your plan

big buff cheeto puff: yes please

finn the fuckboi: you know?

meme me up scotty: i mean that's why tyler asked if i liked you right

finn the fuckboi: ....yea pretend you don't know for like a few hours

meme me up scotty: i got you boys

i'm old craig: i love my ships

NOOO JOOOE: time for the slutter

_big buff cheeto puff blocked david_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank all of you for the nice/encouraging comments and for reading in general. I just visted my homophobic family and it was rough as hell so it was nice being able to come back and read those. Thank you.
> 
> [Also if you're looking for something to read between my updates, go read some stuff by Chinxino5! All of her works are great. Find her here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/Chinxino5/pseuds/Chinxino5 ]


	21. happy new year!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uploading late? On MY fanfic? It's more likely than you think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members in this chat: mooma brock (Brock/Moo), NOOO JOOOE (David/Daithi De Nogla), meme me up scotty (Scotty/FourZer0Seven), playboy bunny (Ryan/Ohmwrecker), hellboy (Luke/Cartoonz), bottom bitch (Bryce/Bryce Games), david beckham (Brian/Terroriser), big buff cheeto puff (Evan/Vanoss), finn the fuckboi (Marcel/Basicallyidowrk), tyty (Tyler/Wildcat), i'm old craig (Craig/MiniLadd)

"I fuckin' hate this song. It has like, two words in it." Evan chuckled under his breath at Tyler's complaint, his eyes wandering around the large house. It was early in the night but the main room was already flooded with people, many whom they knew and many who they didn't.

"Who do you think is gonna puke first?" Evan said to Jonathan, leaning closer to him and pressing his lips against his ear. His boyfriend broke into a smile and shrugged but didn't say anything.

" _Damn_ Wildcat." Tyler, Evan, Brock and Jonathan all looked over their shoulders as they heard the familiar voice come from behind them. Through the door waltzed Craig with Brian at his side, the prior looking Tyler up and down while the latter tossed his arms around Brock and drew him into a hug.

"Damn what?" Tyler asked with his hands tucked in his pockets, raising an eyebrow at him. Craig chuckled, shrugging casually with a smirk on his face.

"You look good," he said simply. "Who're you trying to impress?"

Tyler tried to hide that he was smiling but it still showed. He _did_ look good, that was what Evan had told him earlier when they'd been getting ready together at Brock's place. In a fitted white t-shirt and with his hair actually done nicely for once it was hard not to give the tall boy a second or third glance. But through all the looks and compliments Tyler had gotten so far, Craig's was the only one that made him blush. Which was sort of sweet but also made Evan's heart hurt for him just a little bit. "Anyone, everyone."

"Well it's working," Craig teased. Tyler scoffed and and playfully rolled his eyes, shoving his friend's shoulder.

"Anyone and everyone but you, bitch," he said, making the younger boy laugh.

"Come on, I want a drink." With a wave of his hand to everyone else the pair moved into the crowd.

"Have they ever talked about it...?" Brian asked when they were out of earshot, standing close to Brock but not too close. The crew was back in defensive mode, less guarded than they were at school but not nearly as relaxed as they were at their weekend gatherings. At least nobody had made any homophobic remarks (yet).

"Nope, and they probably won't," Brock said solemnly. A frown pulled at the corner of his lips and he sighed, shaking his head and looking back towards the front door. "Where is everyone else?"

"Late," Evan offered, but he was wondering the same thing.

"No need to fear!" Right on cue Marcel came swooping in out of nowhere, striking a dramatic pose with a smug grin over his lips. "The token black friend is here."

"Don't call yourself that," Brian grimaced, but Marcel just chuckled and slapped him lightly on the cheek.

"Why not? It's true." He did a spin and Evan rolled his eyes through a smile.

"You enjoying that thing?" The sweater— or the slutter, if you were an annoying asshole— he'd stolen off Jonathan was draped over his shoulders, hanging from one though not as dramatically as it did with its owner. It fell to about his stomach but stopped there, revealing what his trips to the gym had been doing for him. With it he had some dark jeans that David had bought for him (as an after-Christmas gift he'd said when Marcel protested), and... Well, he was working it. For the first time in his life Evan actually thought about how attractive his friend was (not as attractive as his boyfriend, but they couldn't all be gods now could they).

"Oh yeah." Marcel winked. "Think Scott'll like it?"

"I mean _I_ kinda wanna fuck you, and Scotty already wants to fuck you, so..." Brian broke off into a wide grin and laughed at the stern look Brock was giving him.

“What’re you losers talkin’ about?” Evan looked over as Luke came into the house, tossing an arm around Jonathan and glancing between the other boys.

“Brian wants to fuck me,” stated Marcel, beaming proudly. When Luke turned his eyes to Brian for an explanation the Irishman shrugged.

“Same though,” said Anthony as he joined the circle, Lui and Smitty in tow.

“Panda. You’re straight. Why do we have to keep reminding you?” Evan smirked playfully, jabbing their friend in the chest with his finger. Anthony pretended to pout, placing his hands protectively over his breast.

“Those are _my_ titties, Evan,” he said softly. Out of the corner of his eye Evan saw Jonathan just barely hold back the laughter that was clear on his face.

“But I like them,” he responded, and Anthony frowned even more dramatically while Lui laughed into his hand.

“They’re _my titties_ , Evan,” he repeated more firmly but the words were just as distraught as before.

“That’s right Jiggly, tell him who’s boss,” Brock joked, and Evan finally broke as Anthony managed to emphasize the round-eyed, puppy-like expression he’d had the entire time.

“He’s boss,” he said, still guarding his boob like his life depended on it. “They’re just _my titties_.”

“That they are,” came a familiar drawl, and Evan noticed David appear from behind Brock and Brian, the latter looking over his shoulder at him.

“The hell took you so long to get in here? I left you in the parking lot like ten minutes ago.” David just gave a shrug and began looking around the house before his eyes settled on Marcel. His face lit up and he reached out to hug their friend. “Marceeeeelll! You look so good!”

“We’re _sure_ he’s straight?” Smitty asked with a sigh, but it went unnoticed aside from Lui who snickered.

“Thanks buddy,” Marcel smiled, embracing the tall boy. “Now we just gotta wait for Scott to show up and Operation Basicallyido407 is in action.”

“You excited?” Evan asked, subtly (maybe not so subtly) bumping Luke’s arm off of Jonathan and replacing it with his own.

"You jealous bitch, Evan." Luke pushed Evan's arm off now and took its place.

"Shut up, dick." Evan shoved his arm away.

"Whatcha gonna do boy?" Now Luke took over. For half a minute they went back and forth, glaring all the while, Jonathan smiling down at his shoes in amusement. It only stopped because after the fifth ot sixth time Evan looped an arm around Jonathan's waist and pulled him to his chest. His victorious grin lasted only a few seconds because when he focused back on the group Tyler, back from his drink run with Craig, was regarding them with the most unimpressed expression they'd ever seen.

"...Okay, are we done? Because that was worse than, than..." He gestured vaguely to Luke. "The fuckin' smiley face thing!"

"Oh." Luke paused before pulling out his phone and typing something on it. A second later Evan felt his phone buzz in his pocket, apparently the group chat because Tyler yanked his cell out too. Anger flared over his face and he stared Luke down with a dramatic snap of his head.

"CARTOONZ, _STOP!_ I WILL _FUCK YOU_ IN THE _ASS!_ "

"Okay daddy," Luke shrugged.

"THAT'S GAY!"

"Yeah."

"Fair enough."

"Speaking of gay..." Ryan announced his presence by looping his arms around Luke's waist from behind, kissing him on the cheek and chuckling. "Come dance with me."

"Rude, I wanna dance with him too," Bryce smirked playfully from his side.

"I called dibs first," Ryan teased back.

"Boys, boys. Don't fight over me," Luke joked as he wriggled out of Ryan's grip, turning around to look at them. "I'll dance with both of you."

"Hang on, weren't you supposed to get Scotty?" Craig interrupted before the three could slip away.

"We did. He's outside," Bryce answered.

"Maybe he's nervous," David suggested.

"Is that why you were outside for so long?" Brian turned to ask. They all watched as David swallowed and his eyes fell on someone just across the room. A tiny, shy smile took over his lips.

"Maybe."

"Sorry I'm late." Evan glanced behind him to see the man of the hour coming in, looking even more like a twink than usual. But he looked good too. He grinned brightly as his eyes fell on Marcel, who was trying not to seem nervous but was also pulling the sleeves of the sweater down over his hands.

"Heyyyy, there's Scott!" Brock greeted him cheerfully.

"What's up bitch?" he replied absently as he walked into the circle, his and Marcel's gazes locked. "Uh, you look good Marcel."

"You look gay," Marcel responded, and Scotty scoffed.

"Good."

"Step one!" David swooped in and tossed his long arms around both of them. "Never Have I Ever!"

"Excuse me?" Tyler mumbled.

"He insisted it had to be part of the plan," Evan commented, Jonathan nodding beside him.

"Uh, okay. I kinda wanted to ask him to dance first...?" Scotty said sheepishly.

"Oh. Yeah, go dance!" With that David pushed the two towards the designated dance floor of the house, and Evan had to smile as he saw them disappear together.

"Think I'm gonna go find Tom. Haven't seen that bastard in a while," Brian said, giving Brock a side hug before backing away.

"Tell him this party's dope when you do!" Lui called after him.

"Looks like you and me should get out there too," said Evan, placing his hands on Jonathan's upper arms as he faced him.

"I'm third wheeling," Tyler announced as Jonathan smiled.

"I'm fourth wheeling," Craig added.

"Fifth," called Smitty.

"All of you just come on," Evan laughed, subtly grabbing his boyfriend's wrist and waving for his friends to tag along with his free hand.

"Vanoss?" His ears picked up on the quiet voice immediately, and Evan bent down so that Jonathan could speak into his ear. "Is my sweater actually slutty...?"

Evan burst out laughing. He dragged the smaller boy into his side before kissing the top of his head. "Yeah. And I love it."

As they found a spot for themselves Jonathan swung around to face him, grinning happily. "I love _you_."

Just as the rest of the boys gathered up Evan nodded, ducking and kissing the blue-eyed boy quickly while Tyler's massive form blocked everyone from seeing them. "I love you too."

 

 

“Never Have I Ever broken something at someone else’s house then not told them,” said Tom, sat in a comfy looking armchair sideways with a printed paper crown resting atop his head. They’d only been able to steer David away from Never Have I Ever for so long before he’d brought up the idea to Syndicate, the host of the party himself, so here they all were now with a large group of people and an even larger setup of shots

Several people took shots but not too many, and nobody who Evan was really invested in. “Never Have I Ever purposely set someone on fire,” said John bitterly, glancing over at Smitty who was wearing an innocent expression.

“It was for science,” he said dismissively. He and about four other people took a shot, including Tyler, who was now getting an incredulous look from Craig.

“You swore that was an accident!” he yelped.

“I mean I didn’t think you’d actually catch,” Tyler explained, crossing his legs and staring off as he thought, “but I _did_ hold a lighter directly to the tag that said _flammable_ so…”

“Never Have I Ever gone a whole day without saying anything,” piped up Marcel, looking directly at Jonathan with a smirk on his face. Jonathan returned the expression before reaching for a shot and downing it easily, much to the amusement to the rest of the gathered crowd. Evan’s eyes followed the curve of his throat a moment too long, but luckily everyone was too intoxicated to notice.

“I vote we change games,” said Suni from beside Craig, leaning against him and frowning as she attempted to brainstorm a replacement.

“Spin the Bottle’s always fun,” said Kelly. Just like that someone produced a bottle seemingly out of nowhere, or maybe it just seemed that way to Evan’s drunken mind.

“Come on Tyler! You gotta!” Evan laughed to himself as Tyler reluctantly pulled Ryan in by the shirt and pecked him on the lips. In any other situation, acting in a gay manner towards anyone would stress the crew out. But there was a sort of rule with their school, and although it was mostly an unspoken thing, everyone went with it; gay’s only gay if you’re sober. Everyone excused whatever happened when people were drunk enough.

It was sickening if Evan thought about it for too long, which was why he tossed back another shot of his own.

“Well that’s better,” said Tyler as the bottle landed on Kelly, and a couple people hollered in approval as he leaned across the circle to this time kiss a pretty platinum haired girl rather than Ohmwrecker. As the game went on things blurred more and more together, and though Evan couldn’t pinpoint when, Panda had completely passed out on the floor at some point.

“That’s you, Evan,” came someone’s voice, and he snapped himself out of it to see the bottle had landed on him. He glanced around to figure out exactly who’d spun it to realize Brock was blushing, and Evan smirked before getting off his ass and walking over to him. If it had been anyone else he probably would have felt extremely awkward about this but it was only Brock, one of his closest friends. He kissed him quickly without any sort of conflict and sat back down beside Jonathan, glad to see he didn’t seem upset.

Though it was his turn now. Frowning just a bit he spun the bottle himself and tracked it as it whirled around and around… His mind wandered to when they’d stayed in the hotel and played Truth or Dare. Did Jonathan still have that picture saved on this phone…? He blinked when he felt a pinch on his hip, and his eyes whipped over to find a nervous looking Bryce kneeling in front of him.

He kissed a few other people that game. Max, Cody, Craig, Jonathan and David were the ones he could recall when he tried to think about it. He blinked and suddenly he was sitting on a sofa with Jonathan draped across his lap, the smaller boy’s head tucked against his shoulder, sound asleep with his hood up, the shirt he'd been wanting to wear to this party peeking out from beneath his blue hoodie although he'd never taken the zip up off all night. A couple of the boys passed around a bong while John did a variety of vape tricks for a small audience consisting of Craig, Suni, Smitty, Chilled Anthony and David.

“Have you seen either of them?” Tyler asked Brian beside Evan, just loud enough that they could hear one another but the rest of the group wouldn’t.

“Not for like an hour,” said Brian.

“Who?” Evan asked quietly, more interested in keeping his adorably sleepy boyfriend in his lap than in whoever was currently MIA.

“Marcel and Scott,” Brian replied, a mischievous smirk on his lips.

“Have you guys tried texting them?” Evan suggested, smiling and rolling his eyes as he fished his phone out of his back pocket. Brian and Tyler did the same, their eyebrows furrowing as they looked at their screens. Evan’s confusion melted as he looked down at his own and saw a couple dozen Snapchats from both of the boys in question to their Snap group, as well as a handful from Luke.

“Hey guys, just letting you know we’re ditching the party,” said Marcel in the first snap, walking down the street somewhere with Scotty just beside him.

“There’s a Dairy Queen that’s open until one in the morning,” Scotty chimed in as he popped into view, smiling cheerfully when Marcel laughed and nodded his head.

“Yeah, we want some Blizzards. Be safe idiots,” he said before it ended. The next one was from Scotty but it was just a picture of their ice cream.

There were a lot of Snaps just documenting their impromptu date night, including sneaking onto a closed mini golf course and getting Taco Bell. The ones from Luke were from other parts of the house to check in on everyone and letting them know that he was still with Bryce and Ryan. Then there was the last two from Scotty, which were for Evan alone rather than the group.

“Did you really tell him we should watch meme compilations instead of a movie?” Scotty asked Evan through the screen, laughing as Marcel did so in the background. Scotty swapped the camera to show Marcel’s laptop back at his place, which was displaying a Vine compilation with a bowl of popcorn on the blankets beside it. Evan laughed quietly as he watched Scotty and Marcel get into a kernel fight, flicking the seeds at one another with Scotty yelling as Marcel lunged to tickle him. In the second one Scotty was back, looking happier than Evan could remember seeing him in a long time. “Thank you guys for everything. I completely didn’t expect the whole cheesy fort thing when we came back to his place but… it’s really nice. So thanks for helping him with it. I owe you guys.”

“Evan.” He looked up and caught David’s eye, feeling just as touched as he looked. Evan nodded his head towards his friend, wrapping his arms more securely around Jonathan and kissing the top of his head when nobody was looking at them.

 

 

 _Three, two, one… Happy New Year!_ _As everyone shouted the words Evan gently pulled Jonathan’s attention away from the fireworks by placing his fingers beneath his chin to look through his color splashed eyes. He leaned down to kiss him. He didn’t just hear fireworks, he felt them._

The memory of that moment made Evan smile as it flashed through his head, that single moment where he’d tangled a hand gently in Jonathan’s feathery brown hair captured on the homescreen of his phone (courtesy of Tyler). Although the thought that someone could potentially see it stressed him out, the surge of fondness he felt every time he saw it made that worth it.

-

**hi welcome to chilis**

mooma brock: are you guys ready to go back tomorrow

NOOO JOOOE: no

meme me up scotty: no

playboy bunny: no

hellboy: no

bottom bitch: cartoonz you don’t even go to school

hellboy: that’s true

david beckham: how did new years go for everyone? been meaning to ask about it

big buff cheeto puff: i got to kiss jonathan so good

david beckham: that’s gay

big buff cheeto puff: shut the fuck up brian

finn the fuckboi: i got to kiss scotty

david beckham: that’s gay too

finn the fuckboi: to quote evan “shut the fuck up brian”

david beckham: i call it like i see it

tyty: he’s sitting here saying this shit like he didn’t make out with brock at midnight like a cheesy little bitch

mooma brock: brian don’t

david beckham: you don’t even know what i was going to say

mooma brock: yes i do i know you too well

tyty: you guys fucked didn’t you

david beckham: a lot

bottom bitch: O.o

i’m old craig: so did you two fucks kiss luke or nah

playboy bunny: only on the dick

bottom bitch: yeah it barely counts

hellboy: all of us even said no homo just in case

big buff cheeto puff: god dammit

meme me up scotty: same tho

finn the fuckboi: yeah

NOOO JOOOE: WAIT :D

finn the fuckboi: yes nogla

finn the fuckboi: we fucked

NOOO JOOOE: was it the sweater

NOOO JOOOE: the sweater did it right

meme me up scotty: …

tyty: admit it, it was the sweater

meme me up scotty: it was

finn the fuckboi: thanks for being a slut with slutty clothes @ jonathan

big buff cheeto puff: tru

h2hoe: whaaaattttt

_big buff cheeto puff left the chat_

h2hoe: -.-

 

* * *

 

 

_if you're curious about what some of them wore..._

 

 _Evan_  
  


_Tyler_  


Marcel  


 

Scotty  


 

Bonus: John/KryozGaming  



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